To want to cancel surprise party at he last minute

[lepoardnickle]

I've organised a surprise party for my parents at the weekend, it's joint and invites went out at the beginning of March. I do understand that some people would be put off attending by the cost as its fancy dress but apart from that is it really that hard to just rsvp??
I've only got about 25 confirmed out of 75 invited. Three people txt to say they couldn't make it but I've not heard a thing from the rest, so It could be 25 people or 70+, how do I plan for that without the info?
Would I be unreasonable to just cancel due to lack of interest?

[biscuitkumquat]

Is there any way to contact some of the others who haven't bothered to RSVP?

You shouldn't have to, but it would be a shame for your parents if you had to cancel.

[AnchorDownDeepBreath]

Given that you'd have to contact everyone to cancel; could you contact everyone and say that you need confirmation of attendance or not by tomorrow midday or you'll have to cancel?

Then you'll know who is coming. They should know their availability for this weekend now! And if it's a good amount, you wouldn't have cancelled for nothing.

I'm sorry they didn't RSVP though. There seems to be a growing trend to only RSVP if you can't make it which is very annoying.

[EyefulTower]

No don't cancel. They'll be over the moon at 25 friends surprising them. Cater very generously for them so if a few more turned up it won't matter.

[lepoardnickle]

I love that you've sneaked kumquat into your username I've started messaging a few just now but no reply whatsoever so far.

I don't know if this makes a difference (help me men of AIBU) but with my dad's friends I messaged them all the same long message over Facebook (and dropped off proper invites to most a week or so later). I didn't have the fb details for their wives or anything, a load of men 50 ish.. That have all read the message but nobody replied. Is this likely to mean they are coming? Or that they're not? This is why I hate planning. Events

[PotteringAlong]

I suspect it's not the cost that's putting people off but the fact that it's fancy dress...

[TeenAndTween]

Fancy dress would put me off almost any party.

[lepoardnickle]

Oh no we thought it would be a laugh. People could at least make an excuse and let us know though

[tigermoll]

I love fancy dress, but I hate surprise parties. So Im helpfully on the fence.

I'd go ahead with the party -- 25 people is respectable. Just ask everyone to bring a bottle to make sure the booze is sufficient.

[lougle]

Fancy dress is my worst nightmare, sorry It's completely self-consciousness though.

[lepoardnickle]

Thanks tiger, booze not a problem as there's a bar at the venue. I've paid quite a lot of money to hire a band too and now I'm starting to wish I hadn't gone to the trouble.

[ihatethecold]

What's the fancy dress theme?

[PuppyMonkey]

It's definitely the fancy dress element imho.

[NervousRider]

I personally hate fancy dress and that would stop me going. Too much hassle. If you have contacted the men via FB, could you look and see if their wives/partners are on there and message them instead.

Also some add phone numbers and email addresses in the contact section so check there too.

[tigermoll]

OK, so if the drinks are not an issue, just look on it as your folks will get 25 of the BEST people (ie the ones who cared enough to acknowledge the invite and have basic good manners ) and a brilliant band. Anyone who turns up is a bonus.

But HANG ON -- surely the guests of honour won't be in fancy dress??? Have you thought about maybe sourcing some accessories/wigs/props to make them get into the spirit of the thing? (LOVE fancy dress, me. As long as it's not Rocky Horror/tarts and vicars/pimps and hos.)

[ohtheholidays]

If you've got they're numbers I'd give them all a ring rather than cancelling it all especially at such short notice.

[pearlylum]

Fancy dress and a surprise party. I'd be washing the dog that day.......

[thisonethennomore]

How old are the guests? IME fancy dress is a massive headache for some people and I know my parents would hate it.
Having said that they'd make the effort for friends with a nod to the theme.

[Floggingmolly]

Why fancy dress? It's not a "laugh" past the age of about 10, at the outside. It's just a bloody faff.
Can you message everyone and tell them you were joking??

[tigermoll]

Fancy dress and a surprise party. I'd be washing the dog that day

Yeah, but you'd have the manners to respond with 'Oh, what a shame, we can't make it, because we all have prior commitments, and also are ill, as well as a family emergency on that night. Have a great party' though, right?

OP isn't complaining that people aren't coming, but that they haven't RSVPed.

[MyCatWasRightAboutYou]

Yeah, I think the whole faff of getting a costume together for fancy dress would put a lot of people off. Could you say fancy dress is optional so they don't have to bother with it? Might increase numbers a bit.

[PiranhaBrothers]

I couldn't be arsed with fancy dress either and surely the guests of honour are going to feel the odd ones out (unless they make a habit of walking around dressed as Mickey and Minnie Mouse).

[Pinkheart5915]

People are so rude when they don't rsvp, takes no time at all to rsvp it's just lazy.

I'd go ahead with the 25 confirmed, that's a good number IMO to have a decent party.

[Floggingmolly]

That's a good point, Piranha!