To feel upset and worried?

(12 Posts)
Amy214 Thu 09-Jun-16 15:23:44

Dd (2 years old) had her 27 month review today and the HV who done it told me that she cant pronounce her words correctly (but arent all toddlers like that?) its words like train, granny, banana, apple etc.. She also does sign language aswell so that she can communicate with my mum who is profoundly deaf. I feel that shes coming on well since starting playgroup and i also thought that she was doing great as i can understand her and so can other family members. The HV assumed that i dont talk to her hmm we always talk about what we are doing, what we can see, what the bark on the tree feels like (well i talk she listens grin) i read her stories and so do her playgroup teachers.. The HV was also unhappy that i haven't begun toilet training yet, we tried last week and she wasnt ready, she hasnt shown any signs of being ready at all. After all that she said she had no concerns and everything was fine as she could build a tower, point to pictures in a book and sort of say what they were, do a simple jigsaw puzzle.
Her weight and height is fine (29lbs 12oz, 90cm)

I am worried and confused now? Should i just continue what im doing and hope she starts talking properly?

FiddleFigs Thu 09-Jun-16 15:32:41

I wouldn't worry. My 29 month old DD can't pronounce g and c/k sounds (so she says, for example, dwanny instead of granny, ohtay instead of ok) - she's in nursery 3 days a week and her key workers have said that's normal - it just takes some children longer to work out how to make certain sounds. Also, we've only just started the potty traininig - she wasn't ready sooner, and I still think she isn't quite there, so we're taking it slow. Again, no one has raised an eyebrow at this.

I don't like taking DD to see the HVs - they mean well, but I always come away feeling as though I'm doing a terrible job.

snorepatrol Thu 09-Jun-16 15:34:04

I'd probably not worry too much.
Do you have any concerns about her speech?
Can she make herself understood to people who don't see her regularly either verbally or non verbally?
Do she try and communicate with you?

I'm surprised if the health visitor was that concerned that she didn't refer you to speech therapy to be honest.

It would probably be worth asking playgroup if they have any concerns about her speech as they see her regularly and the health visitor has seen a 30 minute snapshot of her.

If playgroup do have concerns then maybe ask your GP / Health visitor for a speech therapy assessment (though be warned where I live the wait for assessment is around 16 weeks which isn't unusual)

If play group don't have concerns then just keep an eye on it.

For what it's worth my dd 1 has weekly speech therapy and really poor speech, dd2 has genuinely been talking in sentences since before she was two. Now she's 2 1/2 she can out talk her 4 year old cousin and seems to know more words than her older cousin.

But I did nothing different with either of them, if anything I probably concentrate on the older ones speech more, as its so poor.
Please don't worry that the health visitor thinks you don't read to her and talk to her I'm sure she doesn't think that some kids are just slower to talk than others.

Pagwatch Thu 09-Jun-16 15:36:04

I wouldn't worry.
The HV was probably just trying to check that you knew the value of chatting with your DD to encourage and practice speech - I'm sure she has to do that as sadly some parents don't.

I would just take it that she was checking how everything is going and that 'she had no concerns'

yorkshapudding Thu 09-Jun-16 15:36:09

My DD is 29 months and we tried PT but she wasn't ready. When I mentioned it to our HV she said "oh don't worry about that, she's still young". Did the HV refer you to speech and language therapy? If not then she cant have been that worried about your DD's speech.

snorepatrol Thu 09-Jun-16 15:39:15

I wouldn't worry about the potty training either by eldest was 3 before she potty trained.

The only thing that I have heard though and stuck to with mine, is once you started just keep going and don't try and then go back to nappies if they have accidents and then try again as it takes longer in the long run as some kids will just keep having accidents knowing they will get put back in a nappy.

With potty training try and wait until you have a week where you don't have many commitments and can stick around the house a lot and just go for it.

My GP told me if they have a regular afternoon nap put a nappy on before the nap and if it's still dry when they wake up then they can hold their bladder long enough to start potty training and she has 5 kids so I stuck to that.

EarthboundMisfit Thu 09-Jun-16 15:41:49

She sounds exactly like my son who just had his check with no concerns raised.

anyfuckingnicknamewilldo Thu 09-Jun-16 15:50:51

Mine DD is 22m and is potty training but her speak is very weak compare to some children at her nursery. The nursery nor I are concerned. She can clearly call everything shoes, coat, teddy, doggy and no. and has just learned good girl......... (her name) . She communicates relatively clearly as to what she wants. If you ask her to do something she Is able to do it. I.e. go for a week. get her shoes on. pick up her toys. I wouldn't worry. I really good she is learning to sign. she will be bilingual. Luckily little girl. It is a lovely skill to have as she grows up and useful especially in later life.

Amy214 Thu 09-Jun-16 15:59:31

She gave me a leaflet on general language stimulation which tells me to do everything that i have already been doing confused
I have been taking her to the bathroom with me and she always takes some toilet roll to wipe her bum but doesnt understand why she has to wipe (i think shes just copying my actions) ive tried to encourage her to use the potty but she doesnt sit on it for long, so i think im just going to wait a month or 2 before trying again. Shes made me feel rubbish and like im doing everything wrong but i can understand everything she says. She doesnt talk to strangers and her playgroup havent mentioned anything about her speech. She was trying to tell them about the butterfly flying away last week and they could understand what she was trying to say.

Pagwatch Thu 09-Jun-16 16:07:06

If you are doing everything it says in the leaflet then I'm not sure why you would feel rubbish.

She felt your DD was struggling with some words. She checked you knew how to help speech and she gave you a leaflet in case it was helpful.

I'm not seeing what the problem is?

With speech issues it makes a huge difference if the child gets help and support immediately. She's rather obliged to check you are happy and able to support your DD.

Witchend Thu 09-Jun-16 16:15:17

Thing is that parents often don't realise how bad their dc's speech is because they understand them. My db was totally incomprehensible until he was about 5yo, but we, and people who spent tine with him could interpret well. (I o-o eelk was one of his more understandable phrases-I don't want milk).
I've know several families where siblings interpret and a child in ds' class frequently had his classmates translating apparently with ease. All were behind in speech.

The hv saw what she thought could be an issue and advised you. You can take it or leave it.

Amy214 Thu 09-Jun-16 17:07:40

I have read the leaflet and will continue to do what i am doing, i do talk to her about everything thats going on (well i try) and i feel she has came on well since starting playgroup. She is very quiet when talking to strangers and doesnt come out of her shell. We were only in there for about 30 mins so i feel it wasnt long enough to get a grasp of what she can say. It felt as if she was forcing her to say things rather than just letting her say it then saying 'well done it is a dog!' like what i normally do. She cant say her r's or l's very well so instead of granny its nanny, tain (train), fwower (flower), pain (plane). I feel rubbish as she made me feel that i wasnt doing it right.. Shes a new HV as our old one left and she would talk to us for up to an hour so that she could really see what dd was doing and could reassure us that everything was normal.
Im going to talk to her playgroup tomorrow and ask if they have any concerns until then i will try and encourage it more and keep an eye on it.

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