To feel loathing a job this much isn't normal

[Okay377]

I hate and dread my job. It's a career I used to love but after a breakdown two and a half years ago I seem to have changed as a person. It's long and irregular hours, think sometimes sixteen hour days and unexpected weekend working, long periods away from home at times. I have some debt, overdraft and a small loan. I rent. I'm single. The salary I earn is above average although nothing outlandish. I can't imagine getting another job that pays the same as I would need to either start a new career or try and apply for minimum wage work. I feel trapped. AIBU to think I should leave my job with nothing to go to? There is a possibility of redundancy pay. I dread work every day.

[jonsnowssocks]

How old are you? If you're young enough to start again then I'd say go for it - you might have a few years of scrimping and saving but it'll be worth it in the end.

[jonsnowssocks]

Also, is it definitely the whole career or just the company you work for? Changing company might make a difference.

[Inkanta]

Must feel awful to dread it every day. You do sound trapped - and perhaps a bit burnt out or depressed. Any problems with your colleagues?

[EarthboundMisfit]

I've dreaded every 'grown-up' job I've ever had, but I suffer from social anxiety.

[Okay377]

I'm 36. My immediate colleagues are nice - some are good friends but they are jaded and generally the atmosphere is one of 'this is shit'. Management are distant/changing/unsupportive which doesn't help.

jon snow there isn't really scope to change in my immediate field without going freelance. Though you're right, perhaps I should look at smaller changes.

earthbound that's my fear now I'm in this mode

[jonsnowssocks]

And you're definitely young enough to restart in another field, as long as you could take the financial hit for a few years. Do you have any ideas of what you might like to do instead?

[katiekrafter]

Be brave and change. If you need to upskill why not do that as well? Or change careers? I have just finished a degree (at 53!) to get qualified for my new career (in childcare) which pays about a quarter of what I used to get in financial services, but absolutely love my job now, find it very very satisfying and am a much better and happier person. There were a few years when I had to work in low paid work part time to support the early years in the job until I got promotion, but it was worth it for the general sense of fulfilment that I now have. Take the plunge.

[Inkanta]

You say you had some kind of breakdown relatively recently. If it was a depressive illness or anxiety based you may not be out of the woods yet. These things can take time to work through the system. Further treatment or a series of counselling sessions may speed up the process.

[EveryoneElsie]

16 hours a day! I dont know how you do that.

[BeBopTalulah]

I 100% hear you. It's very sad when you study hard to do something you love, then wind up completely despising it. I think it's also much harder to leave it behind when you did love it once. A break down does change you, and your reserve for stresses and strains gets zapped. I'm sorry I can't offer anything more helpful here, other than telling you that you are certainly not alone.

[RunRabbitRunRabbit]

Get yourself to a life coach.

Make sure it is someone experienced (it is terrifyingly easy to set yourself up as a life coach based on very little).

Seriously, it will change your life. Which is kind of the point. A few hours with a good coach is amazing. They are worth their weight in gold. Even 1 hour will help.

[knitknack]

I retrained as a teacher at 37 - I love my job!! :D