To find it annoying if men try n do certain things for me, like open car doors or help with chairs

(439 Posts)
LardLizard Tue 07-Jun-16 22:44:11

Ffs I can open the car door myself and seat down at a table without help

Salene Tue 07-Jun-16 22:44:46

It's called being polite and having manners.

MsVestibule Tue 07-Jun-16 22:47:19

How do they open your car door? Do you mean you're driving somewhere together and when you park up, they run around from their seat to open your door?

ShatnersBassoon Tue 07-Jun-16 22:48:18

How do you feel when a woman holds a door for you?

MsVestibule Tue 07-Jun-16 22:48:51

I honestly think the only man who had pulled out a chair for me is the waiter, which doesn't bother me at all. A date/boyfriend/DH, never.

Where are you meeting all these men who do these things?

Kungfupandaworksout16 Tue 07-Jun-16 22:50:01

Yabu.

Kungfupandaworksout16 Tue 07-Jun-16 22:50:37

ms Thankyou for that visual you've just gave me a good chuckle

PaulAnkaTheDog Tue 07-Jun-16 22:50:55

Is it just a man thing?

LineyReborn Tue 07-Jun-16 22:52:21

DP couldn't move that fast.

LardLizard Tue 07-Jun-16 22:53:23

Well I've never ever had a woman pull a chair out for me, and push it in as I sit down

And of course I mean when a man opens the car door when your a passenger so he literally goes round to the other side of the car

Trills Tue 07-Jun-16 22:54:45

I believe that Japanese have a word for a gift or favour that someone does with good intentions, but that ends up being an irritation or hassle, and you'd rather they just didn't, but you are expected to act grateful.

chanice Tue 07-Jun-16 22:55:29

I love it. Especially being called miss aswell.

RubbleBubble00 Tue 07-Jun-16 22:55:40

Iv nevery had a car door opened for me or chair pushed in - must be moving in the wrong circles

ShatnersBassoon Tue 07-Jun-16 22:56:21

You'd have to sit and wait for them to get round to your side of the car confused

Is this one man, or numerous men who like to do this for you?

VestalVirgin Tue 07-Jun-16 22:57:12

There's a difference between holding doors open so the person behind your can walk through, too - that's polite - and doing certain things only for women.

I know women who hold doors open for other women, but I don't know any women who do the chair thing. Or the car door thing.

Since apparently it's men you know, just tell them?

If they continue doing it even though you told them not to, then that's not polite anymore, it's shitty and patronizing and you'd be very reasonable to be annoyed.

StickTheDMWhereTheSunDontShine Tue 07-Jun-16 22:57:24

Do you find it annoying if women do it for you.

Men do things like that for me, I do things like that for men. Makes it a fair and courteous world.

Alisvolatpropiis Tue 07-Jun-16 22:57:32

🙄

TyneTeas Tue 07-Jun-16 22:58:18

this thread recently covered many similar issues : )

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2642387-Ladies-first

LardLizard Tue 07-Jun-16 22:58:21

I just find it offensive and sexist

I don't mid being called miss though

MrsJoeyMaynard Tue 07-Jun-16 23:01:45

Doesn't tend to happen to me. I've only seen parents of small children and waiters do the chair thing.

I have, on the other hand, had a man deliberately slam a door in my face when I've been heading to the door with my arms full of boxes because "men aren't supposed to hold doors open for women anymore". Rude bastard. Would have been equally rude if it had been a woman slamming the door BTW.

ALaughAMinute Tue 07-Jun-16 23:08:10

What about when they walk on the outside of the pavement? WTF is that all about?

OhMrBadger Tue 07-Jun-16 23:16:40

It's just about being polite and well-mannered. I always hold doors open and usher other people into public transport before me (unless it's rammed. I'm not daft). It's simply a nice thing to do.

I once stepped out of someone's way on a ramp going into a shop and she snarled, "I'm not THAT fat!" at me as she went past. Fine. Next time I'll shoulder charge you.

MrsJoeyMaynard Tue 07-Jun-16 23:17:59

What about when they walk on the outside of the pavement? WTF is that all about?

Way back when horses were the main form of transport (other than walking), the streets tended to be full of horse poo and other muck, which tended to get thrown up at the pavements when horse drawn vehicles went past. So a gentleman would walk on the outside to save the lady's skirts from being covered with manure.

Not an issue these days.

RortyCrankle Tue 07-Jun-16 23:18:18

What utter swines they are, LTBs.

Silly and YABU.

seagreengirl Tue 07-Jun-16 23:28:41

YABU If it's an older man and they mean well cut them some slack, and for heaven's sake don't be rude.

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