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AIBU?

To find it annoying if men try n do certain things for me, like open car doors or help with chairs

438 replies

LardLizard · 07/06/2016 22:44

Ffs I can open the car door myself and seat down at a table without help

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Salene · 07/06/2016 22:44

It's called being polite and having manners.

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MsVestibule · 07/06/2016 22:47

How do they open your car door? Do you mean you're driving somewhere together and when you park up, they run around from their seat to open your door?

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ShatnersBassoon · 07/06/2016 22:48

How do you feel when a woman holds a door for you?

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MsVestibule · 07/06/2016 22:48

I honestly think the only man who had pulled out a chair for me is the waiter, which doesn't bother me at all. A date/boyfriend/DH, never.

Where are you meeting all these men who do these things?

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Kungfupandaworksout16 · 07/06/2016 22:50

Yabu.

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Kungfupandaworksout16 · 07/06/2016 22:50

ms Thankyou for that visual you've just gave me a good chuckle

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PaulAnkaTheDog · 07/06/2016 22:50

Is it just a man thing?

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LineyReborn · 07/06/2016 22:52

DP couldn't move that fast.

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LardLizard · 07/06/2016 22:53

Well I've never ever had a woman pull a chair out for me, and push it in as I sit down

And of course I mean when a man opens the car door when your a passenger so he literally goes round to the other side of the car

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Trills · 07/06/2016 22:54

I believe that Japanese have a word for a gift or favour that someone does with good intentions, but that ends up being an irritation or hassle, and you'd rather they just didn't, but you are expected to act grateful.

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chanice · 07/06/2016 22:55

I love it. Especially being called miss aswell.

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RubbleBubble00 · 07/06/2016 22:55

Iv nevery had a car door opened for me or chair pushed in - must be moving in the wrong circles

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ShatnersBassoon · 07/06/2016 22:56

You'd have to sit and wait for them to get round to your side of the car Confused

Is this one man, or numerous men who like to do this for you?

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VestalVirgin · 07/06/2016 22:57

There's a difference between holding doors open so the person behind your can walk through, too - that's polite - and doing certain things only for women.

I know women who hold doors open for other women, but I don't know any women who do the chair thing. Or the car door thing.

Since apparently it's men you know, just tell them?

If they continue doing it even though you told them not to, then that's not polite anymore, it's shitty and patronizing and you'd be very reasonable to be annoyed.

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StickTheDMWhereTheSunDontShine · 07/06/2016 22:57

Do you find it annoying if women do it for you.

Men do things like that for me, I do things like that for men. Makes it a fair and courteous world.

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Alisvolatpropiis · 07/06/2016 22:57

🙄

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TyneTeas · 07/06/2016 22:58

this thread recently covered many similar issues : )

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2642387-Ladies-first

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LardLizard · 07/06/2016 22:58

I just find it offensive and sexist

I don't mid being called miss though

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MrsJoeyMaynard · 07/06/2016 23:01

Doesn't tend to happen to me. I've only seen parents of small children and waiters do the chair thing.

I have, on the other hand, had a man deliberately slam a door in my face when I've been heading to the door with my arms full of boxes because "men aren't supposed to hold doors open for women anymore". Rude bastard. Would have been equally rude if it had been a woman slamming the door BTW.

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ALaughAMinute · 07/06/2016 23:08

What about when they walk on the outside of the pavement? WTF is that all about?

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OhMrBadger · 07/06/2016 23:16

It's just about being polite and well-mannered. I always hold doors open and usher other people into public transport before me (unless it's rammed. I'm not daft). It's simply a nice thing to do.

I once stepped out of someone's way on a ramp going into a shop and she snarled, "I'm not THAT fat!" at me as she went past. Fine. Next time I'll shoulder charge you.

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MrsJoeyMaynard · 07/06/2016 23:17

What about when they walk on the outside of the pavement? WTF is that all about?

Way back when horses were the main form of transport (other than walking), the streets tended to be full of horse poo and other muck, which tended to get thrown up at the pavements when horse drawn vehicles went past. So a gentleman would walk on the outside to save the lady's skirts from being covered with manure.

Not an issue these days.

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RortyCrankle · 07/06/2016 23:18

What utter swines they are, LTBs.

Silly and YABU.

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seagreengirl · 07/06/2016 23:28

YABU If it's an older man and they mean well cut them some slack, and for heaven's sake don't be rude.

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Ebony69 · 07/06/2016 23:29

There's nothing wrong with being courteous... What does annoy me, though, is when I'm reversing into a parking space (quite competently, I can assure you) and a man feels fit to start giving me directions ( it always is a man) when I haven't asked for it. Inevitably I just ignore them. I'm sure these men would never do that to a male driver. It seriously pisses me off...but I'm such a wuss that I always than them afterwards and they walk away looking pleased with themselves.

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