To not ask for or expect a lift to work after July

(32 Posts)
Outhere4 Mon 06-Jun-16 13:29:47

i get a lift to work with a colleague in her car every day. We live in the same building, on the same floor. We work in the same place.
I give her money each week.
i am very grateful to her for giving me a lift each morning.
I'm on time, polite and pay her on time or early if she needs it.

i sometimes get the feeling that she doesn't want to take me for much longer.
it would need to be for another 11 months and then i'm moving abroad.
i do have the option to move to a less nice flat up the road, a tiny bit nearer work and from there i may be able to taxi-share with some other colleagues, if they are around in the mornings.
should i stay here and hope she can give me a lift, or should i just move?

Arfarfanarf Mon 06-Jun-16 13:33:16

What about talking to her? Saying you've noticed that perhaps she would prefer to call an end to the lift share and you want to assure her that you are very grateful and have never expected anything and are more than happy to make alternative arrangements?

I assume making your own way to work is not an option for whatever reason?

AllPowerfulLizardPerson Mon 06-Jun-16 13:34:35

"i do have the option to move to a less nice flat up the road"

If it's really just up the road, no need to move, just share with the other colleagues from where you are.

Chippednailvarnishing Mon 06-Jun-16 13:35:49

How did you end up in a job that you need a lift to?

Damselindestress Mon 06-Jun-16 13:42:05

If the location where you could taxi share with colleagues is only up the road couldn't you walk there and then share a taxi with them rather than move there? It does make sense to look into alternative arrangements rather than relying on your colleague for nearly another year. What if she moves or changes jobs?

gamerchick Mon 06-Jun-16 13:46:58

Why cant you get there under your own steam? Is it way way out?

leelu66 Mon 06-Jun-16 13:57:06

I think you need to talk to her as well. At this stage you're just assuming she is no longer happy about the arrangement.

You are paying her, you're punctual and you're polite. I really can't see what her problem could be. Unless you think she would leave a little earlier or later if she wasn't giving you a lift.

Talk to her before you do anything else smile

StopLookingAtMyAccount Mon 06-Jun-16 14:07:52

Maybe she is just a bit grumpy in the morning and now that she feels comfortable with you thinks it's ok to be herself. I think you have to ask her and promise her that you are ok if she says she prefers not to give you a lift. Then you should simply take her reply at face value.

BarbaraofSeville Mon 06-Jun-16 14:11:26

Could you walk or cycle to the place where you can taxi share with colleagues if your current lift provider stops giving you a lift? But yes, talk to her and see what she says/how she reacts.

Moving house seems a bit drastic, especially just for 11 months.

Zucker Mon 06-Jun-16 14:21:00

Think about what you would do if she resigned from the job on Monday. Plus yes actually talk to her.

whois Mon 06-Jun-16 14:21:46

What about talking to her? Saying you've noticed that perhaps she would prefer to call an end to the lift share and you want to assure her that you are very grateful and have never expected anything and are more than happy to make alternative arrangements?

This. A million times. Speak to her!

NotSure202 Mon 06-Jun-16 14:22:18

Talk to her, and find your own way to work if required.

MurphysChild Mon 06-Jun-16 14:28:00

what do you do when she takes annual leave and doesn't drive into work

WreckingBallsInsideMyHead Mon 06-Jun-16 14:57:48

Weird situation to have got yourself into, s job where you need others to help you get to it. Surely transport is a major consideration both when choosing a home and accepting a job. I don't drive, so had to accept that I could only apply for jobs I could get to on public transport. And when I've moved house, I've always made sure I can walk or get a train to work.

RunRabbitRunRabbit Mon 06-Jun-16 15:02:50

Gosh, 11 months is a long time to give someone a lift every day. And you say another 11 months.

When you set up the arrangement with her, how long did she expect it to last? Did she have any inkling it would be 2 years? Surely she was expecting to work out your own transport pretty soon.

I have to say, I think you are taking the piss. Paying, being polite and on time are good but it is her car, her space. People have cars for flexibility and often a bit of quiet time alone. You write as if your failure to manage your own commute is her problem, it's all about what would change your situation not what she might feel or want.

Taxi, bus, bike, your own car: use one of these. If you aren't paying her the equivalent of taxi fare (which I assume you are not) then I think you are taking advantage of her good nature.

NotSure202 Mon 06-Jun-16 15:09:42

Being committed to someone else like this is a bit of a bind. I take a boy in DS's class to school just 2 days a week and it is actually a pain in the butt. Most of the time it is okay, but life tends to have a habit of throwing a spanner in the works which makes being bound to an arrangement in the morning extremely inconvenient at times.

RunRabbitRunRabbit Mon 06-Jun-16 15:10:38

should i stay here ... or should i just move?

Wrong question.

Stop using your colleague as a cheap taxi right now. Get to work under your own steam.

Then decide where to live and work based on hassle and cost. That's what pretty much everyone else does.

Outhere4 Mon 06-Jun-16 15:12:14

Yeah, i think you are right there.
I've decided I'm going to move to the flat up the road.
I think it will be better all round.
i have been getting a lift for 4 months from her and that is enough. She has been very good to me.

NotSure202 Mon 06-Jun-16 15:13:29

How far up the road is it (time-wise) and how does that make a difference?

Outhere4 Mon 06-Jun-16 15:16:34

Its half an hour walk to the other flat.
An hour and 15 mins walk to work.
It is very hot here all year round.
No public transport available.

BarbaraofSeville Mon 06-Jun-16 15:25:26

If it's half an hour walk, it'll be 5/10 minutes on a bike, 15/20 if you go all the way to work. Is there any chance of getting a second hand bike and cycling?

Ilovetorrentialrain Mon 06-Jun-16 15:45:02

What gives you the impressiosn she wants to stop the arrangement? Definitely talk openly to her.

wannabetennisplayer Mon 06-Jun-16 16:46:02

I'm on time, polite and pay her on time or early if she needs it.

It sounds from this that she (at least sometimes) relies on the money you give her to get by. You might both be worse off by stopping the arrangement so why not talk to her before making any decisions?

StopLookingAtMyAccount Mon 06-Jun-16 16:55:42

I think you are silly not to talk to her about it. She might really welcome the extra money or the company.

Kenduskeag Mon 06-Jun-16 17:32:19

Can't you learn to drive?

I'm not seeing how moving a little way 'up the road' means you can use someone else's taxi. Why not just walk 'up the road' each morning to get in the taxi?

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