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AIBU?

To have not asked older kids to get off play equipment?

38 replies

Fonzy · 05/06/2016 17:57

We have a huge play area near us.

There is a new piece of equipment, about 6 kids sit on dangly seats and it spins round.

My DC (5 & 7) wanted to stop at the park as we were passing and have a go.

There were some older kids on it, I'm guessing 11 year olds so we waited until they'd had their turn. And waited, and waited.

They were on for over ten minutes,
There parents sat nearby. My DC were too shy to ask for a go as kids were bigger/older.

Should I have asked?

I didn't by the way, we just left.

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snapcrap · 05/06/2016 18:00

I'd have probably just said very nicely 'would you lot mind if my little ones had a go in a minute?', yes. No biggie.

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Hodooooooooor · 05/06/2016 18:01

I don't really understand your question. If you wanted a go badly enough, you could have asked politely. But they weren't doing anything wrong by not jumping off it as you approached.
You didn't ask, therefore you weren't too fussed.
What is your aibu? Confused

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branofthemist · 05/06/2016 18:02

Why does their age matter?

I can see why it does to your kids, but why does their age matter in asking us if you should have done it?

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Fonzy · 05/06/2016 18:05

Because if they had been my DC's age then DC would have asked themselves. Because they were older DC were too shy.

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Fonzy · 05/06/2016 18:06

Afterwards I felt bad that I hadn't asked. At the time I wasn't sure whether it would have been unreasonable to approach them and ask though.

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WorraLiberty · 05/06/2016 18:07

You only had to wait ten minutes.

Of course you weren't BU to not ask them to get off.

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Buttock · 05/06/2016 18:07

They're just 11 year olds. Were you scared of them? You should've just asked them for a go, it's not exactly a big deal. Don't know what you're teaching your kids; that you shouldnt ask for a somethinh unless someone offers you. The world doesn't work like that though does it?

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branofthemist · 05/06/2016 18:07

But why does their age matter in this thread and why did their age matter to you?

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Fonzy · 05/06/2016 18:10

Because it explains why DC didn't want to ask them and it was up to me....

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WorraLiberty · 05/06/2016 18:10

I taught my kids to wait.

If there was someone on the equipment, they'd either queue or go and play on something else until it became available.

Same as we did as kids.

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MinnowAndTheBear · 05/06/2016 18:11

Were your children actually stood next to them, waiting, for ten minutes? Or were the older children unaware they were wanting to have a go?

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Hissy · 05/06/2016 18:14

Why should kids be asked to get off after only 10 mins?

You entered the park, the equipment was busy, you choose then if you want to wait, and how long and in the meantime you do something else. Or you choose to carry on and go elsewhere.

Bigger kids like and need to play too. They were there first.

We had some stroppy helicopter parent moaning and being all PA about school age kids in a play park on an inset day. She could have brought her toddler another time, but a play park is a play park for all ages and right then there were a few older children enjoying the park

Recently the GM of some kids that ds knows basically bullied a couple of boys playing football in the park, (right outside my house..) using the structure as a goal. She told them that it was a basket ball hoop, not a football goal (it's designed as multi sport tbh) the kids she was with then spent an hour chucking up some crappy Disney Frozen ball up at the hoop.

Shame my ds lost his basket ball or I'd have taken GREAT pleasure in pointing out that if being pedantic about play was important, then I'd have to ask her to withdraw until she had the proper equipment :)

If I thought my ds and his mates were hogging equipment, I'd aske them to make room, or share. But bigger kids play harder with things and smaller kids would ruin the experience for them

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ScarletForYa · 05/06/2016 18:18

You should have asked. Doesn't do to be too timid in this life!

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ScouseQueen · 05/06/2016 18:21

I'd have said, in smiling friendly way 'hey, would you mind giving the younger ones a turn?' And then when my lot had had 10 mins, I'd have said loudly 'come on kids, time for someone else's turn now' and the older ones could have had it back. As long as everyone shares, it's fine to ask.

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Shannaratiger · 05/06/2016 18:22

My kids are 9 and 12. Often don't notice someone's waiting so yes if I were you I would ask. If I notice someone's waiting I'll usually give them a 5 minute countdown.

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RiverTam · 05/06/2016 18:27

I teach DD to ask if she wants a turn: don't ask, don't get. Their parents were irrelevant, in fact I'm surprised their parents were there at all, don't 11yos go to the park by themselves?

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MyBreadIsEggy · 05/06/2016 18:31

I would say 11 is still within the appropriate age for a playground, so wouldn't have minded waiting 10mins for my kids to get a turn.
Today though, DH and I took our 13mo DD to the playground near our house as they have a section on on side full of baby/toddler play equipment. We arrived and there was a group of girls (early teens) sitting all over the toddler climbing frame/slide/tunnel contraption using as a perch for them to sunbathe on Hmm My DD toddled over and was squealing in delight at the prospect of the slide, looked at me and banged her hands on the slide. Not a single one of the teen girls moved or even acknowledged that there was a toddler wanting to play on the toddler equipment they had comandeered Hmm I had to ask them to move so DD could use the slide.

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MrsDeVere · 05/06/2016 18:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WorraLiberty · 05/06/2016 18:35

My kids are teenagers now but this thread has brought back memories.

I remember that in play parks, there was often an element of 'My younger kids have more right to play than those older kids over there'...from the parents of younger kids.

Until of course their kids turned 10 and 11 Wink

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Fonzy · 05/06/2016 18:41

Haha, yes I get that! I have a 10 year old myself.

If other kids were obviously waiting I'd prob let none play for 5 mins then let someone else have a turn.

Nothing to do with age, I was explaining that as they were older DC didn't want to ask and so it was up to me.

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Fonzy · 05/06/2016 18:42

*them play

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drivingmisspotty · 05/06/2016 18:53

I would have asked for them if my dc were shy, to show them nothing bad would happen/setbam example.

Generally in play parks I think everyone should get a good go, but after a bit of time it is fine for those waiting to ask. Conversely I would encourage/expect my DC to take turns. I would have called over probably, to remind DC of manners, if i was one of the parents of the older kids in your scenario.

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Manyshadesofblack · 05/06/2016 18:58

I would have gone away and come back another time or another day. My ds used to get a bit anxious about these things so I have taught him that it is not a big deal we just go away and come back another time. So I would have done exactly the same as you.

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MrsDeVere · 05/06/2016 19:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hissy · 05/06/2016 19:53

The other thing is, you don't know if the older kids had been waiting for ages until somebody's poppet has had their 30mins.

The lack of reaction from the older kids parents indicates that they might have had their turn in waiting

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