How many godparents are overkill?

(42 Posts)
Onthedowns Sun 05-Jun-16 11:27:46

My DS being christened in Aug. We have my two sisters and partners, plus my sils partner but I would love a friend also she was a great help when my son was in scbu and has been since but worried it's to many?

EatShitDerek Sun 05-Jun-16 11:28:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RaeSkywalker Sun 05-Jun-16 11:31:21

I thought that most people had 4 (2 chosen by each parent). I may have made that up in my head though!

iisme Sun 05-Jun-16 11:32:03

We decided not to have sisters as godmothers because aunt is a more important relationship and the godmother bit just gets overshadowed. I would say 3 is standard, 4 is also quite normal, more than that is overkill.

MoggyP Sun 05-Jun-16 11:32:24

Trad is 3 (two the same sex, one the opposite)

But any number you like is fine. Oh, and if you just have one of a couple, it's like a BOGOF. So you'd be heading for 4. Unexceptional, I'd say.

Onthedowns Sun 05-Jun-16 11:33:03

Well we have to have even sexes and our priest so no limit . My sister and her DH and my other sister is getting married in September. My sil is already godparent to my dd. My DH would like her partner I have expressed concerns but to no avail. We don't have any other trustworthy or reliable religious family. Our friends too are not suitable apart from this lovely lady.

PaulAnkaTheDog Sun 05-Jun-16 11:44:58

In the Catholic church it's two. One of whom is a practising Catholic.

Onthedowns Sun 05-Jun-16 11:57:15

I think it's tradition I am godparent to my niece and she has 4 , she is Roman Catholic. Only stipulation is that our godparents have to be baptised but agdin I know this is up the the priest also

Musicinthe00ssucks Sun 05-Jun-16 13:15:42

Usually uncles and aunts in the Catholic Church. One must be practicing Catholic. Most priests are quite relaxed about how 'practicing' though

BrianCoxReborn Sun 05-Jun-16 13:22:38

With DD I chose 5 (was single parent,had been through Hell and they'd been particularly supportive, and continue to be 12 years on) so I chose:

Cousin from my mum's side
Uncle from my dad's side
My best friend
My parent's best friends, honorary aunt/uncle

For DS, my ex and I chose. We had:

Ex's 2 sisters
My brother
My best male friend (son of honorary aunt/uncle)

I took the choosing very seriously on both occasions and didn't bend to pressure from annoying relatives other people.

thesockgap Sun 05-Jun-16 13:37:24

I always thought 3 was the norm (2 godmothers and one godfather for a girl, 2 godfathers and one godmother for a boy).
But in DH's family they only ever seem to have one of each.
I would say anything more than 4 is going a bit OTT.

suspiciousofgoldfish Sun 05-Jun-16 13:38:17

I have two GMs and one GF, as do all my siblings (Catholic).... We have just 1 of each for our DC.

I think it's totally up to you and how many presents you would like your DC to get for their birthdays grin

I also made the choice of having family only as GPs. My reasoning was -

You're kind of stuck with your family. They are obliged to send cards and presents and generally 'be there'.

And

You or your partner is slightly less likely to have an affair with a family member than with a friend. wink

One has to think of these things.

MustStopAndThinkBeforePosting Sun 05-Jun-16 13:43:16

3 is normal, you can get away with 4 but 5 or more is silly.
Personally I see no point in making family members into godparents - of course the siblings of the child's mum and dad are going to be involved in the kid's life - they are their aunts and uncles. Godparents are all non-relatives in our extended family.

ShtoppenDerFloppen Sun 05-Jun-16 13:48:43

I find this interesting.

Where I am, the number is 2. That's it.

No spares based on gender, no 'has to be an even number'. Just 2. I had 2, DH (now in his 50s) had 2, DCs have 2.

I have honestly never seen more than 2 before.

AvaLeStrange Sun 05-Jun-16 13:51:10

If you think your 'extra' is a good choice, then ask them.

DD's Godmothers are one of my oldest friends, and a former colleague who is also a good friend (I have no siblings).

MIL insisted we had my elder BIL as Godfather, which I wasn't thrilled about tbh, so I insisted on a bonus GF - DH'S best friend and best man at our wedding.

He is the closest to DD of all of them - comes to visit every few weeks, unfailing remembers birthdays/Christmas, takes an interest in what she's doing and texts her regularly. He doesn't even have kids of his own, but he is just brilliant.

Absolutely the most worthwhile argument with MIL I've ever had!

GooodMythicalMorning Sun 05-Jun-16 13:52:34

Traditionally 3. More is overkill. Mine only had 2.

Seahawk80 Sun 05-Jun-16 14:43:11

Most people I know have 4, my niece has 5 including a couple. I don't think it matters. That said I did go to a christening where there were 12 godparents and the vicar kept making jokes about it! That is overkillgrin

Fink Sun 05-Jun-16 14:48:39

Depends on the culture. American hispanics and Philippinos often have a dozen or more.

3 is the norm in CofE.

Maximum of 2 (one man, one woman) is the LAW (not guideline) in RC, but one is fine. Quite a lot of priests will let you have more than 2 but it's technically not allowed.

Why don't you just sack off the partners and have your friend?

Onthedowns Sun 05-Jun-16 16:23:42

Thanks I have been through it and our family are best choice, I don't get why it can't be family? I take it seriously so I won't have family unless I think suitable !

Redglitter Sun 05-Jun-16 16:28:10

My nieces were both baptised Catholic. They had 3 godparents each. Eldest niece had 2 non Catholics and youngest niece 1 non Catholic. Seems they're much more relaxed on the 'rules' now. I think any more than 3 is overkill

Arkwright Sun 05-Jun-16 17:47:46

Usually 2 from the ones I have been to.

HereIAm20 Sun 05-Jun-16 18:23:11

usually 3 - 2 same sex and one opposite sex

LettingAgentNightmare Sun 05-Jun-16 18:27:56

2. Always one of each sex. No more are needed.

BrianCoxReborn Sun 05-Jun-16 19:03:16

"5 or more is silly"

Based on what exactly? If you want 30 Godparents or 3, it's up to the parents to chose.

Onthedowns Mon 06-Jun-16 11:50:23

Thanks we would have 5 but they good people it's very hard!

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