This is partially related to a previous post, which is completely freaking me out right now. I have to point out that at this precise moment I have no concrete evidence of cheating, but am possibly a really paranoid and untrusting person! My current issue involves the possibility of H being unfaithful while away with work. As many people have said, there is a long separation and many opportunities, but it depends on the character of the person...
Years ago, before we were married with kids, he had a temporary posting to help out with another service. He was living at home, with rather odd shift hours, and this woman would drive to ours, park some distance from the house to wait until he returned with the shared work car, then drive off in the work car for her shift. He did talk about her rather a lot, and they spent time together (walking her dogs) while I was at work. He described her as being quite like me, but a bit more flighty (or words to that effect). She once came in to the house instead of waiting outside (she knocked and asked if she could wait inside), and was pleasant, but I had the feeling I was being checked out a bit...I invited her to come in whenever she wanted, but she never did. I'm not proud of this, but on one occasion I watched out of the upstairs window as he came home, they both were sat in the work car for a while, then both got out, stood real close together for a bit until she left. Maybe it was just the angle, but I could have sworn they were kissing. Or maybe I'm just paranoid. I did confront him, everything was denied...
Flash forward a month or so, we had moved house, they were still seeing each other due to work...(We were invited round to a dinner at hers (she had a bf) as a couple once, with others of their friends. Possibly not relevant.) She sometimes had been at the house while I was at work, on one memorable occasion he had visited me at my place of work to tell me he was off to the Gulf....I couldn't leave work at the time, he went home. I was upset, so did leave early, and guess who was there when I arrived!? She left pretty sharpish, but I was rather disturbed he'd obviously turned to her for some moral support in the few hours before I was due home.
Anyway, he went off to the Gulf, and I didn't really hear anything else about her. Anyhow, now I've got all these doubts resurfacing, I know he has her as a friend on facebook and she's now married. I'm so tempted to message and ask if there was anything going on, as knowing would help with the current situation, but obviously doubt the wisdom of this. Has anyone done anything similar? Would you give an honest answer if it were you? What were the outcomes?
I know the best thing to do is talk to H, but it will be a while before he returns home, and if he has lied in the past he no doubt would do again, and I'd obv fall for it! This is driving me insane, WWYD?!?
AIBU?
To confront the 'other woman'
mylaststraw · 05/06/2016 04:44
I would say she's irrelevant. I was in your situation for many years with DH and various women. I couldn't trust him and it ate away at me, I was constantly checking up. I eventually left and have since had it confirmed that he had multi affairs. Go with your gut 
OP, I read your other thread and all I can say is - you dont sound happy and I think its manifesting itself in various ways. Listen to what your head is obviously trying to tell you, think about where you could go next with things, and when your husband is home tell him that things are far from well between the two of you and something has to be sorted out for the future.
With best wishes to you 
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