To consider calling police on inlaws next time this happens

(81 Posts)
AlchyInlaws Sat 04-Jun-16 21:44:19

So MIL and her partner obviously have a drinking problem. They start on the wine at noon every day and often have to sleep it off in the afternoon before continuing in the evening. This isn't normally an issue as we only visit them about 3 times a year and although they're continual slurring / repeating stories are annoying it doesn't directly affect me

What concerns me a lot more is when they come to visit. They came for one night recently and polished off 3 bottles of wine between them in the evening (hubby had 2 glasses). They brought the wine with them as they know I only buy 1 bottle for when they come. They arrived about 5pm and started drinking at 7, whilst I was putting kids to bed

The next morning they said they were going out to buy a paper and came back with a bottle of wine too. They started drinking this at noon like normal, then left after lunch (about 2pm) to make the 4 hour drive home. I didn't pay attention to how much each of them were drinking but they were both having some. Apparently it was ok because they made a thermos for the journey!!

Am I right in thinking that whoever was driving would definitely be over the limit during this drive? If I called the police and they got pulled over they would probably guess that I called. However, if they had an accident on the way home and someone got hurt or killed then I would feel guilty forever!

To be honest, I didn't think of it until they left last time so didn't have their registration number. However, I'm torn as to what to do next time! Do I really risk tearing my husbands family apart?

My hubby is of the view that they must have built up such a tolerance level that 1/2 bottle of wine wouldn't impair their driving. Could this really be true?

DT X

AlchyInlaws Sat 04-Jun-16 21:44:59

Ps name change for this thread to try to protect identities

flappingbingowings Sat 04-Jun-16 21:46:20

It depends. Is it red or white wine?

fastdaytears Sat 04-Jun-16 21:48:02

Half a bottle of wine over 2 hours wouldn't necessarily put you over, though I wouldn't be happy driving. Would depend on a million factors.

AlchyInlaws Sat 04-Jun-16 21:48:24

White, user Chardonnay. Why?

Chattymummyhere Sat 04-Jun-16 21:48:37

If you believe they are over he limit no matter who they are you should report it.

AlchyInlaws Sat 04-Jun-16 21:48:43

*usually

backtowork2015 Sat 04-Jun-16 21:53:21

Whether they have a tolerance or not is irrelevant, they would still breathalyse over the legal limit on half a bottle of wine. Id like to think I'd be proactive and either insist the didn't drive or report them if they did, but the reality is I'd probably be hoping they didn't have an accident that I'd feel I could have avoided.

ToriaPumpkin Sat 04-Jun-16 21:54:01

I have a decent alcohol tolerance and after half a bottle of wine I'd definitely be over the limit. If you have concerns then report it.

Gazelda Sat 04-Jun-16 21:54:51

Can you find out their car reg, then call their local police and tell them of your concerns?

NowSissyThatWalk Sat 04-Jun-16 21:56:03

Agree with PP's who say to report. Drink drivers cause injury or deaths to
over 3,000 people every year. I know how difficult it must be for you.
Could you say something to them about it before you do? At least give them a chance? It doesn't seem you have a particularly close relationship though?

AlchyInlaws Sat 04-Jun-16 21:58:22

Gazelda - that's a good idea. I bet they must drive like that all the time, given their attitude. If they got pulled over then either they would be over the limit and get charged or it might give them a kick up the backside that it's not ok to drive like that. It wouldn't be obvious that it was me if it was a decent length of time after the last visit x

travellinghopefully12 Sat 04-Jun-16 22:00:54

I hate drink driving. One of my friends was killed because of it aged 21 and the impact was enormous.

I have seen people drink drive and done all I can to discourage them, including threatening, but not actually calling, the police. I used to have a flatmate who would have a bottle of wine to 'pre game' for a ceilidh and then drive from Edinburgh to St Andrews. Sadly I was young and not assertive enough, but nowadays I would absolutely report.

They could easily cause harm to themselves as well as other drivers/cyclists/pedestrians, so you are protecting them in a way (surely it would be worse if they died/killed someone?)

What does your partner say? Sorry if post seems judgy, I just have such a problem with drink driving.

AlchyInlaws Sat 04-Jun-16 22:01:20

Nowsissy - no, we definitely don't have a close relationship at all and they are not the sort of people who would listen to advice. Also, they are aware that I don't drink at all and that I won't buy more than 1 bottle of wine for the less than 24 hours they come to visit for (hence why they bring their own). Also, he caught me glaring at him when he started pouring out the second glass of wine each and cut those glasses short, only to top up later anyway

NowSissyThatWalk Sat 04-Jun-16 22:07:13

Travelling flowers

It's a really difficult one OP, it must be hard for you.
But if you're not that close anyway, do you really have much to lose?
You could try what the PP has said about calling their local force, I know from being in the Police though that we need to have reasonable cause to believe that they are over the limit (poor driving, smell of alcohol etc) before breathalising, so not sure a tip off is enough, it may well be though.

Bluetrews25 Sat 04-Jun-16 22:17:53

Please report them.
No respect for those who endanger others by drinking and driving.

Iknownuffink Sat 04-Jun-16 22:21:58

Yes, report them the next time they leave your home after drinking.

You would never live with yourself if they caused a fatal accident.

I tried to report my ex on an almost weekly basis. Went to a different village (same local police station). Finally he was caught, fined and banned.

queenofthepirates Sat 04-Jun-16 22:23:11

I'm so sorry you're in this position but if there is an accident, another family will be torn apart in the most devastating way possible. Please for everyone's sake (including theirs), find a way to report this now. The chances are there will be a list of other people who could have reported them so you might not be the prime candidate

CoolCarrie Sat 04-Jun-16 22:24:21

Frankly i would report them! Some poor soul could be killed because of their selfishness! Its ok if they wrap themselves around a lamppost but if they killed someone else they would be murderers in my opinion. It might be the wake call they need if they do get stopped. I wouldn't tell dh though it might just backfire on you.

LobsterQuadrille Sat 04-Jun-16 22:26:08

In my drinking days (recovering alcoholic), my DSis once reported me for possibly being over the limit. I was stopped and breathalysed and wasn't, but she had every right to do so and I wasn't annoyed at all. Drink driving can be deadly. Nobody should mind that others care enough about them and innocent people to report them if they have any suspicion.

I would report them if you have doubts next time.

caroldecker Sat 04-Jun-16 22:26:32

A bottle of wine is 9-10 units. Say 5 units per person, lose a unit per hour, say 3 units when leaving. Drink drive limit is about 4 units, so probably under the limit.

MonicaFree Sat 04-Jun-16 22:26:55

There's no dilemma. Report them.

ihatethecold Sat 04-Jun-16 22:28:36

They would still be over the limit from the night before
Then topping it up with lunchtime wine.

ihatethecold Sat 04-Jun-16 22:29:43

Your body only processes the alcohol once youve stopped drinking.

foursillybeans Sat 04-Jun-16 22:30:48

No question - report them. I have reported others before now. Drink driving is nothing to think about or consider..just report it. It kills people. Every year. Lots. They would all still be here if that driver had not had a drink before driving. They would still be with their families, loved ones, friends. Children have lots parents, parents have lost children, wives widowed, husbands alone...report them.

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