To want never to go in car husband "liaised" with OW in?

(54 Posts)
OneTwoOneTwoThreeFour Fri 03-Jun-16 21:08:06

Am I?

Nottalotta Fri 03-Jun-16 21:09:52

Nope.

molyholy Fri 03-Jun-16 21:10:20

Whilst it may not be practical, I wouldn't want to either. Ewwwww.

molyholy Fri 03-Jun-16 21:11:18

Oh - yanbu

Bogeyface Fri 03-Jun-16 21:11:29

YANBU

Whats the story? Is he expecting you to on the basis that you should get over it?

ImperialBlether Fri 03-Jun-16 21:12:32

I wouldn't either and he's got a bloody nerve if he does expect you to.

MadameDePomPom Fri 03-Jun-16 21:12:34

Definitely not.

OneTwoOneTwoThreeFour Fri 03-Jun-16 21:13:15

It's by far the better of our cars. Sometimes I need to drive a long distance for work and usually take it.

Just can't do it.

Idliketobeabutterfly Fri 03-Jun-16 21:13:26

He wouldn't be my husband anymore.....

OneTwoOneTwoThreeFour Fri 03-Jun-16 21:14:35

Yep, fair point, but still need a car. Just don't want that one.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds Fri 03-Jun-16 21:15:50

Sell it and buy a new better one? And then ltb?

ChicRock Fri 03-Jun-16 21:17:27

It's probably a bit odd that you're seemingly more repulsed by the 'venue' rather than the person.

OneTwoOneTwoThreeFour Fri 03-Jun-16 21:19:17

Yes, chic, that seems odd to me too. But couldn't get but out of my mind if was in the car. It's weird, but just a big trigger.

Repulsed by all of it, really, but was wondering if I'm being silly about a car for exactly the reason you state.

Upallnight9 Fri 03-Jun-16 21:19:32

If you've forgiven your OH I'm assuming you are or will eventually "go" where the OW has so I'm not sure why the car is so much of an issue.

Cabrinha Fri 03-Jun-16 21:19:52

I wouldn't be in it again because I wouldn't be married to him.

If he is in anyway remorseful and serious about making your marriage work, then he will instantly say "OK" when you tell him to go change the car. It could be done tomorrow.

Honestly though, you won't go in a car he had her in, but you will be a house where he (the one who really betrayed you) is. Car is not the issue lovey. Sorry you're being put trough this.

OneTwoOneTwoThreeFour Fri 03-Jun-16 21:20:55

It's the odd practicalities of such a horrible situation. Not forgiving.

IWILLgiveupsugar Fri 03-Jun-16 21:22:02

Maybe lose the h and you will feel better about the car. Or insist on selling it and getting a nice one that he isn't allowed to drive.

I mean this nicely but you are focussing too much on the location of the infidelity. Do you believe that he is genuinely regretful? Are you getting support? Is he doing everything he should be to fix the marriage. Those are the things which are more important.

Cabrinha Fri 03-Jun-16 21:22:52

I found a bra strap in my car of my prostitute shagging husband.
I divorced him.
Still drove the car a couple of times.
It's just a car.
Perhaps I didn't have to push my feelings towards the car because I had chucked the cheating arsehole?

IWILLgiveupsugar Fri 03-Jun-16 21:23:08

X posted with lots of pp

acasualobserver Fri 03-Jun-16 21:23:21

I don't think you are being silly. If selling it makes you feel better - even just a bit - then do it.

Cabrinha Fri 03-Jun-16 21:24:29

I suspect reversing the fucking thing over his foot would make her feel better.

ThatsMyStapler Fri 03-Jun-16 21:25:08

i think selling the car is the best option

it doesnt matter what you have decided with OH, whether you have decided to try and sort it (mn-ers will tell you that you have made an almighty mistake, only you and time will tell)

but - yeah its adding insult to injury if you have to use the vehicle he met up with OW in - you wouldnt want to go to the same resturants, or sleep in the same bed its the same thing

upthegardenpath Fri 03-Jun-16 21:34:18

You are not being unreasonable or silly at all OP - god knows how I'd react if my DH cheated on me, but I don't think there is any right or wrong way to react.
Do what's right for you.

MadamDeathstare Fri 03-Jun-16 21:38:43

YANBU.

If you can't afford to sell it and get a new one, would getting it valeted help? We had our cars done a few years ago and they were like new cars by the time everything was done. I think they even steam clean the upholstery.

OneTwoOneTwoThreeFour Fri 03-Jun-16 21:42:09

Thanks all. Posted because I suspected I was being unreasonable: I am well aware the car is not the real problem, it just sickens me to think of being in it.

The rest is a long story,just the usual crap.

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