Wibu to ask for some support

[Standingonmytippytoes]

Dp was at work this morning. He txted to say he was going to the gym which he goes to on average 4-5 days a week 2 hrs a time I told him I'd prefer he didn't because I'd had a long week and I was working all weekend. His response was he'd had a long week too.
In the end he had to come home anyway for a home visit for our sons nursery.

As soon as they were out the door he said right I'm for the gym.
My response was I'd prefer it if you stayed home and gave me some support with the kids while I get the house sorted. Then he started ranting "what do you meat support I do loads around the the house I do loads with th dcs while you have a break"
He then came back and send I'm taking the kids out I didn't want him to take the kids out I want the kids to play in the garden while I get the house sorted and spend some time with. Then then we had a another chat about support and he took them out. 5 minutes later he called to say he was taking them to soft play and did I want to come. Keep I'm mind the sun is shining so I said no I don't want them going to soft play i want them at home. They're going to the beach tomorrow why do they have to be entertained every minute if the day.

So pretty much after my long rambling post. Wibu to tell him not to go to the bloody gym. To spend some time at home that isn't the kids bedtime/ nightmare tired time.

[Standingonmytippytoes]

And I forgot to say just ask for some general support?

[araiba]

you ask for support so he takes the kids out but you complain again that he is taking them to the wrong place?

yabu and controlling

[BackforGood]

Hmm
YANBU to ask for some support (from what you've written - no idea of your working status / how many dc / what ages / etc.etc.)

but

YABU to then reject him when he offers to entertain them for a couple of hours, as you asked him to do

[WreckingBallsInsideMyHead]

Yanbu to ask for support but yabu to dictate what he does with his kids

[WorraLiberty]

Blimey

Are you always this controlling?

[MumOnTheRunCatchingUp]

Poor bloke!!

[KittySnow86]

As above, YANBU to ask for the support at all.
YABU for not recognising that he was trying to support you by taking the children out - he probably thought that not having them in your hair whilst you were trying to do the house was the most helpful thing to do and maybe as you had said you were tired that you would appreciate some breathing space. My DF used to do this for my DM, and my DH now does this for me (and vice versa) as the work is done quicker and then we are all free to spend more time together.

[branofthemist]

Yanbu to ask for support. Does he give it generally?

He said he takes them out so you can get breaks, is this true? If it is, he should be getting breaks as well, surely?

Yabvu to tell him what he can and can't do when he takes them out. You can't have it all ways.

[AnchorDownDeepBreath]

If you wanted them in the garden so they aren't being entertained every minute, why couldn't he go to the gym?

It's not unreasonable to ask for help but it is unreasonable and controlling to ask for help then dictate what he does.

[StillStayingClassySanDiego]

You're giving him too much of a hard time, he's out with the kids who will love soft play, I'm guessing?

You need to take a breath, read your post back and stop giving him orders.

[Whatthefreakinwhatnow]

Christ on a bike! So he does as you ask and doesn't go to the gym, he then offers to take the kids out so you can do what you wanted to do in the house, and you STILL aren't happy?!

Bloody hell OP, you sound horribly controlling! Poor bloke!

[CrazyDuchess]

A agree with the other posters - take a deep breath and really read what you have just written

YANBU to ask for some support and time together but you do seem rather controlling of his time - telling him what he can and can't do with the children? It's rather nice that he offered to take them out?

Are you okay OP? Are you feeling particularly stressed about anything in particular?

[Standingonmytippytoes]

But I didn't want a break I wanted to spend some time together as a family, while taking 5 mins intermittently to clean the loo and put some clothes away...

[AnchorDownDeepBreath]

You didn't say that. You asked for support with the kids, which is what he's done.

Honestly, this sounds so stiflingly controlling.

[WorraLiberty]

You asked for support in getting the house sorted.

You didn't say you wanted a family day together.

Either way, now you have time to fold the clothes, clean the loo and use Mumsnet, while the kids have a good time at soft play.

[AnchorDownDeepBreath]

And he offered to pick you up, so you could have spent time as a family... Just not in the exact way you'd pictured.

[branofthemist]

You asked for support with the kids while you got the house sorted.

You didn't say 'I would rather you didn't go to the gym so we can have some family time'

And he even phones and asked you to come to soft play, while he was out. Surely you had cleaned the look by then.

[CrazyDuchess]

I'm single and it always amazes me how many people expect their other halves to be mind readers.

Was you explicit that you wanted time together or just assumed he would get what you mean??

[branofthemist]

Cleaned the loo

[emmalimesmom]

maybe he thought you could do with some chill out time , poor bloke he cant do right for doing wrong.

[VimFuego101]

But I didn't want a break I wanted to spend some time together as a family, while taking 5 mins intermittently to clean the loo and put some clothes away...

TBH you sound a bit silly. He got the kids out from under your feet - blitz the house and get everything done, and spend time together later without having to pop off to clean the loo and put clothes away every 5 mins.

[ChicRock]

You've contradicted yourself so much that I can only assume you're hard work and controlling and you need to lighten up massively.

[50shadesofTom]

It sounds like it's difficult for him to figure out how to do things exactly the way you want them.

And you do sound controlling.

[araiba]

dp didnt understand what you wanted
kids didnt understand what you wanted
mn didnt understand what you wanted

im seeing a theme here

[sharonthewaspandthewineywall]

Blimey you sound like you like to set him up to fail 'I need support with the kids so I can tidy the house'
'No not like that I want family time too'
WTF?