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AIBU?

how is this 'a faddy diet' ? diabetic - newly diagnosed

89 replies

mrsfuzzy · 03/06/2016 14:46

going to lunch with a friend next week, but she is complaining because of my new 'faddy diet' - have just been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes, which she finds hard to understand, am still in a degree of denial and uncertain as to what i can eat, waitting on apt with diabetic nurse for advice, have looked online but am so confused and upset,
any advice mners. she thinks i'm being faddy and awkward, should i cancel ? have tried explaining it will limit me but she is a bit domineering and i feel a bit depressed with the whole situation to say no.

OP posts:
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WorraLiberty · 03/06/2016 14:50

How does what you eat affect what she eats?

Assuming it doesn't mean going to a restaurant that has nothing on the menu for her?

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FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 03/06/2016 14:50

I would cancel with her, yes. You've got enough on your plate without having to fight with her too.

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Ifailed · 03/06/2016 14:54

either cancel or tell her what you are telling us, and ask that she doesn't comment on the matter if you meet.

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mrsfuzzy · 03/06/2016 14:54

she thinks that i'm going to be eating celery and all that shite, she says she'll feel awkward for eating a 'proper meal' let alone having a dessert. i think i'll have to cancel felicia your'e right - it's making me teary just reading this. it's all too much at present.

OP posts:
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WreckingBallsInsideMyHead · 03/06/2016 14:55

It's not faddy, it's under medical advice.

She doesn't sound like a very good friend

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CaptainMarvelDanvers · 03/06/2016 14:56

Does she know that you have being diagnosed? It's bad enough if she doesn't know but if she does then she is acting like a horrid "friend".

She sounds ignorant. If you have the patience maybe you can educate her on what type 2 diabetes can do to a human if not under control.

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FranksBobot · 03/06/2016 14:58

She sounds like a twat.
Cancel.
Do you have any local support groups? They will be able to help you with regards to dietary advice whilst you wait for nurses app Flowers

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MadamDeathstare · 03/06/2016 14:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OurBlanche · 03/06/2016 15:00

Sometimes, when people insist on making everything about themselves you have to be really blunt:

Dear Friend, I am so sorry that my life changing diagnosis of diabetes is inconvenient for you. Please disregard our X years of friendship, cancel our lunch date and don't contact me again until you have given yourself a stern talking to and stopped being so fucking selfish!

Remind yourself that you are the one with the health issue, she is the one with a marked lack of sympathy, empathy and a huge dose of selfishness.

Then stop panicking about it, you will get a lot of advice from the nurse that will make a lot more sense than any Google search. You will be fine, just maybe 1 supposed friend less than you were yesterday Smile

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WorraLiberty · 03/06/2016 15:01

So it's all about her and her issues?

I agree with PPs - just cancel.

She sounds a bit strange about food anyway, so probably not the sort of person I'd want to go out for a meal with.

Or maybe go to the pub or cinema instead?

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LaserShark · 03/06/2016 15:01

What on earth does she expect you to do? Eat something that will make your condition worse so that she doesn't feel awkward ordering dessert? Does she actually want to see you or is she only interested in her lunch? She sounds awful. Don't go!

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Lilaclily · 03/06/2016 15:05

Oh I have this
I've dieted and got to my goal weight
When we go out I eat salad and drink my body weight in wine
I get moans & groans when I order salad & no dessert
I ignore

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hunibuni · 03/06/2016 15:07

DH is type 2 and eats a normal diet, just fewer carbs and often avoids desert. If he does have something sweet or carb heavy then he'll go for a long walk to try and lower his glucose levels. He's been diabetic for a long time and knows how much he needs to exercise in order to get his levels down. Diabetes.co.uk is a good resource and often has up to date research on it. The current thought is that low carb diets tend to be effective for type 2 especially when combined with exercise. Id you have a glucometer then try to test first thing in the morning before brekkie and you'll get an idea of what your fasting levels are. It's really worth keeping a food diary and test readings for a while and you'll see how and what affects your levels.

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Myyear2016 · 03/06/2016 15:08

My brother died in December age 43 leaving a young son and a young wife behind. He died from diabetes type 2 related diseases. For the last two years he had completely lost his eyesight and was on dialysis.
Your friend is ignorant so ignore her and look after your health. What she thinks ain't important. Your health comes first.

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PurpleDaisies · 03/06/2016 15:10

What diet is it?

She sounds hard work, unsympathetic and like she doesn't know anything about type 2 diabetes. I'd cancel and tell her why. Sorry you're going through this. I'm sure once you've met the diabetes nurse it will seem less scary. Type 2 diabetes is a very manageable condition and you're doing the right thing by taking it seriously straight away.

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Want2bSupermum · 03/06/2016 15:14

Tell her to bugger off. She isn't a friend.

We gave my Dad an old iPhone so he can use my fitness pal to track what he eats and his exercise. It's helped him get moving. So far he has lost 20lbs. He has another 30lbs to go.

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pigsDOfly · 03/06/2016 15:22

Well she sounds delightful.

You've been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and she's moaning because she thinks that means she won't be able to order a pudding when you go out to lunch. And to cap it all she's telling you your potentially life saving new diet if 'faddy'. Horrible person.

Cancel the lunch and cancel the 'friendship' permanently. With friends like that...... as the saying goes.

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feellikeahugefailure · 03/06/2016 15:22

These days not wanting to eat crap is seen as an eating disorder.

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PestilentialCat · 03/06/2016 15:23

So she just wants to use you as an excuse to pig out, & if you're eating more sensibly than her she will feel bad & blame you

Hmm Confused Shock Angry

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sandrabedminster · 03/06/2016 15:25

Op you just need a natural diet filled with whole foods and not processed ones.

here are some healthy recipes

NHS are shit for healthy advice.

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fifitrixibellethe1st · 03/06/2016 15:26

T2D here, diagnosed 5 years ago at 40. There is absolutely no need to cancel. Your friend, like most people, is just ignorant of the facts surrounding T2D. That's not her fault, it's just the way it is. Please don't feel that this is the end of the world, it most certainly is not. T2D, whilst perhaps not curable, is manageable, through diet and/or medication. You DO NOT need to eat a faddy diet and it is not about, as a lot of people believe, just cutting out sugar. As a PP has alluded to, it is carbs that are the enemy but even then it is only some carbs. As long as they are complex carbs there is no reason why including some in your diet would do any harm. Indeed, our bodies needs some carbs to survive. The Glycaemic Index are three words that your Diabetic Nurse is likely to say to you at your meeting. Pretty much any food that has a low GI is OK to eat. Check out the Diabetes UK website, there's loads of info on there that I hope will put you at ease with the situation. Please don't despair x

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AddictedToCoYo · 03/06/2016 15:27

I hate the term 'faddy diet,' mainly because it's used to describe just about every single type of diet there is. It seems that making any sort of effort other than merely cutting out your mid morning digestive biscuits and switching to skimmed milk in your tea is considered a fad diet. Hmm

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Iwannaberich · 03/06/2016 15:29

It's not faddy, you have diabetes so have to eat a certain way. Your friend doesn't sound very understanding, I'd consider cancelling.

I also don't understand why what you eat out effects what she can eat. Often when I go out with friends some of us have steak & chips or similar and others have a light meal salad maybe baked cod, everybody has different tastes at the end of the day.

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CaptainSprinkles · 03/06/2016 15:31

Your 'friend' sounds ignorant and selfish. You've just received a significant diagnosis and she's fussing about pudding! I'd cancel and go out with a real friend who can be supportive and help you find your feet with your new lifestyle. Flowers

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CaptainSprinkles · 03/06/2016 15:36

P.S

if you're eating more sensibly than her she will feel bad & blame you

This ^

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