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AIBU?

To smoke in my garden?

225 replies

whoopsididit · 02/06/2016 21:30

I smoke, wish I didn't and intending to really try and stop soon. But I smoke.

Moved into a new house two weeks ago.

I smoke in the garden. About 3 or 4 a night.

A few times I've been out there and the Window next door has been abruptly and loudly slammed shut.

They obviously can't stand the smell when I'm smoking, which I suppose is fair enough as it is a disgusting habit.

I feel it really hasn't got us off to a good neighbourly start.

I try and stand well away from their windows but I'm thinking AIBU to smoke outside in my own garden ?

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AliceInUnderpants · 02/06/2016 21:32

YANBU as you can do what you like (well, whatever is legal) in your garden, but there needs to be some sort of compromise for good neighbourly relations? Can you smoke in the front garden instead? (if you are smoking in the back, or vice versa) Could you go to the end of the garden? Could you walk out to the street?

honeysucklejasmine · 02/06/2016 21:33

No, but I do feel sorry for your neighbours if the smell is drifting in.

SoleBizzz · 02/06/2016 21:34

YANBU but it does stink. Ex smoker here. Try a Curve 2 e cig.

Wolfiefan · 02/06/2016 21:34

Why not smoke in the house?
Could it be a bedroom (like a child's room)? I would close windows too. We have asthma here and smoke would set me off.

WaitrosePigeon · 02/06/2016 21:34

You can do what you like in your own garden. I smoke outside my back door and there's no chance in hell I would be walking to the end of the garden or onto the street...

MumOnTheRunCatchingUp · 02/06/2016 21:34

You smoke, wherever you go there will be people you upset! That's how it is for smokers

Your new neighbours have now got an opinion of you. There's your incentive to stop?

ToxicBits · 02/06/2016 21:35

Couldn't you compromise and smoke away from the buildings?

My neighbours smoke away from their house but under our bedroom window and it grates on me

Out2pasture · 02/06/2016 21:35

It's your right and your space but sadly I'd be really upset.
The smell carries

usual · 02/06/2016 21:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HopelesslydevotedtoGu · 02/06/2016 21:38

You smoke in your garden, presumably to keep the smell out of your house.

Which means that the smell gets into your neighbour's house via their window.

Yes I would find that irritating if I was your neighbour.

Why not smoke inside your own house?

PreciousVagine · 02/06/2016 21:40

It's one of those awkward ones. It's your garden so you should be allowed to smoke out there but at the same time, your smoke doesn't just stay in your garden, it goes into their house. I had a neighbour who did the same and I tried to respect the fact that there wasn't really many options for where she could smoke but at the same time, it felt like she couldn't respect the fact that I wouldn't appreciate the second hand smoke in my house or the fact that it's nice to have a window open occasionally and actually get fresh air.

Can't you do it inside?

usual · 02/06/2016 21:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cheby · 02/06/2016 21:40

You can of course smoke in your own garden. But equally you'll have to accept that you are going to upset your neighbours and that it will adversely impact your relationship.

Smoking stinks. im an ex smoker, and I find it disgusting. And if there was smoke drifting into my house id be really upset.

Paperkins · 02/06/2016 21:41

Every summer we have to put up with the woman next door smoking in her garden all night, while DS's window is open and it stinks. He can't really shut the window as it gets the sun all day so it's always warm at night so it would make a huge difference if she could be considerate enough to go to the end of the garden.

It stinks, we hate it, it does cloud our relationship with them.

Oysterbabe · 02/06/2016 21:42

I would be annoyed if I was your neighbour. Can you smoke at the front or away from the house?

19lottie82 · 02/06/2016 21:43

Can you not smoke at the bottom of the garden, so the smell doesn't carry as much into your neighbours house?

MintyBojingles · 02/06/2016 21:48

Yes it's your garden, however it gets in their house and they should be able to have windows open without getting secondhand smoke. I'd look for a compromise - maybe go down the garden a bit, or smoke at the front of your house? Also which way does the wind blow? Is it blowing it into their room?

user838383 · 02/06/2016 21:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VoldysGoneMouldy · 02/06/2016 21:53

Well of course you have the right to smoke in your own garden, but the smell does carry and it's bloody horrible. I'd be slamming windows as well, tbh.

OddBoots · 02/06/2016 21:54

We have a neighbour who smokes in the garden, we used to have lots of them as it is a HMO but thankfully most of them have moved on. I do close the window when the smoke comes in but I accept that it is their right to smoke there.

NerrSnerr · 02/06/2016 21:58

It is shit having smoke drift in your house, it's rubbish having your house stink probably means they can't leave their washing out the too.

puddleduckmummy · 02/06/2016 22:00

Our neighbour smokes, if we have the patio door open we can smell it but I don't consider it a huge problem. I am an ex smoker who smoked outside (I really can't stand the smell now) but it doesn't really bother us. I find it worse when you're walking in town and get stuck behind someone smoking.

As others have said, maybe smoke down the bottom of the garden. But I think it's a bit passive aggressive to slam a window rather than come and speak to you and let you know that it is getting in their house, especially as your a new neighbour. I would speak to my neighbour if it bothered us, not just start slamming doors!

juls1888 · 02/06/2016 22:01

My neighbour smokes at the back door and the smell comes into my kitchen. It really bugs me but they are nice people so I try to overlook if for good relations.

whoopsididit · 02/06/2016 22:02

The garden isn't big enough to go to the end of it and it to have much impact. The houses are all pretty close together.

The window slam tonight was the first I'd smoked since yesterday, it's not like I'm chain smoking out there all day and night.

I will walk out of the gate in future I think, I just hope they recognise that I've done that to be considerate and appreciate that I'm not an awful neighbour.

Ironically, I would never smoke indoors for health implications on my kids - that's why I go outside

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whoopsididit · 02/06/2016 22:05

To the last two PP - YES!!! This is what has left me with a bad taste in my mouth (har har)

The slamming sort of upset me, if they mentioned it I would have been mortified but grateful they gave me opportunity to apologise and show that I can be considerate.

I've been making a point of checking h windows are closed but didn't tonight and heard the slam immediately and I though "arghhhhhhh shit"

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