To feel guilty about this?

(7 Posts)
GitsandShigglesAPlenty Thu 02-Jun-16 20:50:25

About a year ago I went in to hospital to have major surgery .

I was in for 4 days , in a lot of pain and on a lot of pain meds .

My girls were 5 and 3 at the time and stayed with my mum for the duration . My DH visited them whilst coming between the hospital and home.

The thing I think of the most , and bothers me the most , is that I didn't miss my children whilst in hospital . I don't know why as when I left hospital I was excited to see them but also apprehensive as I was in a lot of pain.

I often wonder why I didn't miss them and if this makes me a terrible mum ? sad

I love them to pieces and I miss them if they stay with my mum for a night!

Everyone kept making comments about how much I must be missing my children, but I didn't .

AIBU to feel guilty ?

Haggisfish Thu 02-Jun-16 20:53:13

Sort of! Guilt is a rubbish emotion-it doesn't abhor be anything. You weren't away that long-I'm leaving my two of same ages for three days. I will 'miss' them but bloody hell I will enjoy the break! Being in hospital can actually be really busy with not much thinking time-every time you feel guilty, I would have a firm word with yourself and make yourself think about something else.

Haggisfish Thu 02-Jun-16 20:53:41

It doesn't achieve anything, not abhor anything!

GitsandShigglesAPlenty Thu 02-Jun-16 20:57:27

You're right about not having the time to think - I spent most of the time in a stupor from the meds or crying because of the pain blush

Mrscog Thu 02-Jun-16 21:01:58

Yeah don't feel guilty. I love having time away from mine, and i definitely started liking them way more (and being a much better parent) when I went back to work FT - I sometimes wonder why I don't feel guilty but I just don't. Then I worry about not feeling guilty!

KC225 Thu 02-Jun-16 21:05:32

I think you are being a little hard on yourself. You were in hospital having an operation, you were concentrating on getting through it and becoming well. You knew your children were being well looked after (possibly spoiled) by grandparents. There was nothing to feel guilty about. Like the first poster said, guilt is such a waste of time. If you could go back in time and feel guilty what would it change? Nothing. Enjoy your children and I hope your health has improved.

Damselindestress Thu 02-Jun-16 21:18:37

Try not to worry about it. You had just been through surgery and had to focus on your recovery. Be kind to yourself.

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