Please help ...I don't know what to do any longer.
I feel like my life is over and everything seems hopeless. I know this is depression as I have had it for a long time but drugs never work for long.
I have an almost lifelong eating disorder which started in my teens as Bulemia but which is now Binge Eating Disorder. I managed to stop purging by the end of my teens but have never managed to stop the bingeing.
I am now 50, a lone parent of a 13 year old DS who has autism and ADHD along with several other issues.
I am struggling but putting a brave face on it all. Nobody realises how bad things are with my eating or how much I am struggling with the housework.
The house is a tip and I literally don't know where to begin with to....and because I don't know where to begin it feels overwhelming...so I don't begin. I hate it though and want to be more organised.
The eating is getting me down and for the first time it is impacting upon my health I am now showing signs of glucose intolerance and I k ow this is my warning sign to stop but I don't know how to.
Over the past year I have become more open about my eating issues in an online community of others with the same thing. I have identified that I struggle when overwhelmed and that this is when I eat....so that's everyday then.
In addition I suspect I have sensory issues as well and I find that I frequently need to escape from noise, lights etc. I do wonder if I am also on the autistic spectrum (I score highly on the online assessments) but my GP is simply not interested as I worked for 30 years and have achieved well in my life. I know very well though that I have always struggled in work and that my work record was not good as a result.
Today I feel particularly tearful and low, I don't know where to turn. DS is with his Dad until the weekend and I am missing him like crazy (although I can find life hard when he is here)
Thinking about seeing my GP again with regard to the depression but don't know if there is much more she can offer. I have had CBT for a few weeks and that was helpful....I have links to a good site which is useful. However I just want to feel so much better than this, thinner than this, healthier than this and more organised than I currently am.
Feel like I am dying inside and sometimes wonder what the point of it all is.
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AIBU?
In thinking I need help...but I don't know where to begin.
11 replies
Cryinginside · 02/06/2016 14:09
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