To be worried about baby ds and nursery?

(56 Posts)
Noisylion Thu 02-Jun-16 12:30:01

Ds is 11.5 months and will be starting nursery in a couple of months.

I'm worried about him going for the following reasons.

He's a right moaner, I find it hard to put him down long enough to do anything. He won't sit in his highchair while I tidy the kitchen or start dinner, not even for 5 minutes with some toys, he just screams the place down. He will play on the floor for a bit but soon starts tugging at me and whinging. He cries so loudly people say he's got some lungs on him. He is happy and playful but he just wants to be free not sat in a highchair or rocker etc and when he needs something he lets you know loudly. For example when I'm feeding him breakfast and he wants his drink in between he points at it and shrieks.

He needs almost silence to sleep. I have got him into a routine where he'll sleep in his cot from awake, but he's a nightmare anywhere else and the slightest noise wakes him up.

He shits constantly, I've just changed his fourth poo today and he will most likely do another later on. Most days he will do at least 4 poos. I've no idea if this is normal but I mentioned it to the HV and she didn't seem worried. He eats really well, his diet is normal, cereal & fruit for breakfast, sandwiches/eggs/cheese for lunch and fish/meat & veg for tea, fruit & yoghurt for pudding. Milk in between and before bed. He's otherwise healthy, 75th centiles for h&w and meeting his milestones.

Oh and he will not keep still for a nappy change. My heart literally sinks when he has a poo because it is almost impossible to change him. He twists around and arches his back and gets really angry. Sometimes we end up with shit everywhere because you're there trying to wipe his bum and he's throwing himself around like an octopus. I picked him up from mil once and all his poppers were open on his vest and dungarees because she just couldn't do them up he was wriggling and crying so much.

I'm not being pfb, ds1 was totally different and loved nursery, I just feel as though they're going to get sick of ds2 moaning and they'll never keep up with his constant pooing. I'm worried that he'll never sleep and get really distressed.

Can you reassure me or do I need to give up work?

Sassypants82 Thu 02-Jun-16 12:34:34

Nobody better than a childcare worker to get him used to all of the situations where his behaviour challenges you. They've gone through it with tens of babies. I think it can only be a good thing & we make things easier all round. Just take comfort in the fact that they'll always have seen worse! Best of luck, its tough going back to work. flowers

sandy30 Thu 02-Jun-16 12:48:04

He'll probably behave quite differently at nursery. There, mine lies down for a nappy change and goes to sleep in a coat with just a back rub and shushing. At home I'm chasing him round the house and co-sleeping! Seeing other kids doing the same helps a lot, I think. Plus, no matter how much they like their nursery workers, they probably won't push their luck quite as much as with mum or dad!

WorraLiberty Thu 02-Jun-16 12:52:33

Sounds like it might be tough at first, but most kids eventually fit into childcare settings because they have to. Often there's no other choice.

Just keep up the communication with the staff and hopefully they'll be able to reassure you.

MonkeyBrainsInPickle Thu 02-Jun-16 12:56:34

My DD is a nightmare to change. Pull up pants have been a lifesaver.

babynail Thu 02-Jun-16 12:57:01

His diet doesn't sound very health. Normal maybe these days but definitely not healthy. Get his food right first.

MonkeyBrainsInPickle Thu 02-Jun-16 12:58:53

His diet sounds fine to me confused

Marsquared Thu 02-Jun-16 12:59:25

Nursery was the best thing ever for sorting out my DS. They got him sleeping without rocking, eating foods I could never dream of and he's so much less clingy. My DS has loads of nappy changes, they document everyone and never moan. He was my PFB and I thought no nursery could never be good enough but TBH they have done a better job than I have of loads of things!

Bamaluz Thu 02-Jun-16 12:59:33

I can't see anything wrong with that diet.

StarUtopia Thu 02-Jun-16 13:00:35

If you can afford to cut back, don't go back? Is that an option?

I went back after no1, but not after no 2. Really didn't see the point. I was going to miss two babies growing up and the same as you , was panicking about my baby at nursery.

I now do work but mainly evenings. Kids do go to a childminder some days (for them as much as for me) but I don't have the whole '5 days at work' 'no time for baby' stress I used to.

Everyone I know who works full time feels guilty and tries to cram as many activities as they can into each weekend...missing the point of being a mum...?!

I could easily reassure you, but I think your post is more about you wanting to not go back to work? Which, is perfectly okay. Only on MN is everyone putting in a 60hr week and being a fabulous parent/mum/wife/sister etc etc all at the same time!

Enjoy them being little. Go back to work when they're bigger?

CatchIt Thu 02-Jun-16 13:04:04

I don't understand what the problem with his diet is?! I'd be thrilled if my 3yo dd had a diet that good!

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Thu 02-Jun-16 13:08:00

Wtf is wrong with that diet?

DS2 was a non-napper. Drove me nuts. At nursery the little bugger used to go out like a light for two hours every day. I wasn't resentful at all, oh no...

lalalalyra Thu 02-Jun-16 13:09:41

You might find he's totally different at nursery. My 8yo doesn't sleep, he kicked/screamed her way through every nappy change and was super demanding on me - tugging my arm, tantrumming if I didn't respond to him in the milisecond he decided he needed me - he went to nursery where he napped without any hassled, sang songs during nappy change and behaved so beautifully that nursery staff gave me very confused looks when I mention his tantrums.

You don't need to give up work so if you want, or need, to go back then he'll be fine.

BillSykesDog Thu 02-Jun-16 13:11:57

Ay, they'll be grand. Sounds like you need a break anyway. Do you feel okay in yourself? You sound perhaps a little low and a touch resentful of the baby.

TooGood2BeFalse Thu 02-Jun-16 13:13:07

Your DS is still really young, experienced childcare providers really won't have very high expectations of such a young baby. They will used to all kinds of children and their different temperaments and they WILL be able to handle anything he throws at them. You will probably find that he behaves completely differently there, nursery brings out the absolute best in my son and I find him really hard work.He is a piece of cake for his teachers!Don't worry1

Bear2014 Thu 02-Jun-16 13:15:17

I can understand your worries but I can almost guarantee you he'll be fine. After a few weeks they just fall in with what the other kids do and adapt very very well. When my 9 month old started at nursery nearly 2 years ago, she was EBF, had never taken a bottle, needed to be fed to sleep for her naps and refused to eat most things. A week later she was on 3 meals a day, napped with the other kids and was generally very happy and settled.

PresidentCJCregg Thu 02-Jun-16 13:16:01

Only on MN can sandwiches, fruit, veg and yoghurt be considered unhealthy. hmm

OP, he sounds like a normal baby, albeit a wee bit hard work. Nursery will be used to babies who poo, and cry at nap times, and screech when they want things - it's all normal.

SilverBirchWithout Thu 02-Jun-16 13:17:00

Ignore babynail I've seen her make exactly the same sort of comment on other threads. A professional goady fucker. confused

Noisylion Thu 02-Jun-16 13:21:02

Thanks everyone. I could afford to not go back. We could manage on dhs salary and once we've paid the nursery fees & wrap around care for ds1 it cancels out my salary. Although dh will be paying for the childcare it doesn't leave us any better off. I keep reminding myself this is only short term as he will be at preschool eventually and I'll be glad to have my job.

I'll admit I don't want to go back, for lots of reasons, my job has changed lots in the last few years and even more since I've been off, but also because I'm worried about the baby. Perhaps I'm just looking for an excuse. Having said that my job is really flexible and I've got some good perks.

I guess there must be loads of clingy babies who have had to go to nursery he won't be the first.

I thought his diet was ok, he's not fussy, he is far less fussy than his brother was and eats plenty of veg. He eats the type of foods he'd get at the nursery.

splendide Thu 02-Jun-16 13:22:07

What is wrong with that diet FFS? It sounds very similar to my DS'.

I wouldn't worry about any of the things in your OP. My DS sleeps fine at noisy nursery even though he apparently requires silence and optimal conditions at home.

The wriggly nappy changing - DS was the same at home. Then had the bloody cheek to be so good at nursery about it that they actually mentioned it to me! As in "oh he's so sweet and good when he's changed isn't he? the way he hands you his little socks!". Not for me he isnt!

PresidentCJCregg Thu 02-Jun-16 13:26:11

Babynail can't come back to reply as she's too busy cultivating her own organic veg patch, gently grown with the aid of angel's tears.

BuntyBlue Thu 02-Jun-16 13:26:36

Try not to worry, I am sure they will have strategies to deal with the things you are worrying about, talk to them and let them put your mind at rest.

For some reason they do generally behave completely differently at nursery though. My DS was a nightmare napper at home, but would be put down awake in a noisy room and within a couple of weeks was just falling to sleep immediately. He would also eat anything and everything at nursery but not at home. Nappies at home had to be changed with him stood up, he would not lie down, but would completely comply and lie down happily at nursery.

My ds has always pooed a lot, nursery did well keeping up with it, although I did use to coat his bottom in metanium (sp?) just to act as an extra barrier, just in case.

Like with everything, give it a go and relook at things a few months down the line if you don't feel its working.

LBOCS2 Thu 02-Jun-16 13:27:58

Nothing wrong with the diet.

My DD would only nap on someone. Including my SIL who looked after her 4 days a week. Except she started with a childminder one day a week, who sent me a video of her going to sleep on her own, on a mattress on the floor in her bedroom. I was Not Happy. We still haven't cracked bedtime...

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant Thu 02-Jun-16 13:30:04

My nursery don't believe me when I tell them about dd screaming around asda...

Give him a month?
See how he settles?

Nobody can predict his behaviour.

If he hates it and they find him hard work, then reconsider.

They will have seen better and worse.

He will enjoy some parts of nursery and others less so.

Mine decided to fill the pretend watering cans up in the toilets today. And water herself...

Noisylion Thu 02-Jun-16 13:31:25

Billsykesdog oh no I'm not resentful of him, really hope I haven't come across like that. I do find him fairly hard work with the things I've explained, but I realise it's an age thing that will pass, I adore him and if anything will miss him.

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