New baby and ILs dangerous dog

(204 Posts)
makingmiracles Thu 02-Jun-16 09:18:00

So, due next week, first baby for my partner, first grandchild for his mum.
His mum/db have a staffy that is very badly behaved, it was a rescue and has always had behaviour issues but they've got worse in recent years. He's not able to be walked now either because of his behaviour on walks towards other people and other dogs and they couldn't get a decent muzzle to fit him that he couldn't remove, so now he only has access to the house and garden.

A couple of years ago I was in the house with my children, not something that ever happened but the car broke down in the evening and we were waiting for the AA, we were all in what was dps room when we saw the recovery truck pull up outside so made our way downstairs.
Unbeknown to us his db had taken the dog downstairs and it was in the living room, we thought it was in db room with him. My dc opened the living room door and walked in and the dog flew at him pinning him on the sofa, 4 of us adults flung ourselves at the dog and got him off dc and luckily all dc had was a couple of tiny tooth mark bruises. Since then they have never been in the house with the dog.
Mils nephew(8) has stayed at the house recently and apparently the dog took no notice and was fine with him so it's likely what happened with my dc is because the dog was shocked to suddenly be confronted with the children when it wasn't aware they were in the house. I however wouldn't have been comfortable if nephew was my dc after what happened a couple of years previous.

Now new baby is about to arrive, I mentioned when first pregnant about the possibility of a crate and said they would need to get one in advance to get dog used to it, but nothing has happened on that front and they claim putting dog in crate will be too stressful for him anyway so won't be buying one. I've also mentioned getting a high dog gate to go on dbs room door but again nothing's been put into place.
Now it's so close to baby arriving and were expected to rock up with Nb and visit but I feel very uncomfortable about it all. Mil has said that they will shut dog out in conservatory whilst we visit, which is fine I guess but I will insist the door gets locked and I get to hold the key whilst we are there, for my own piece of mind. I'm worried that db/mil will say ooh he's whining/needs toilet and will go let him out, in the process opening the conservatory door and allowing the possibility of dog to escape back into living room.

I feel a bit cross with the situation really, the dog rules their lives in terms of not being able to have many people round to their house and I feel like dog once again is being put first above new/first grandchild.

I don't know how unreasonable I'm being as I'm too close to the situation, dog has never properly bitten me, although has gone to on a few occasions but has bitten dp when he tried to stop him going mad against the fence over the dog next door, he escaped stitches but had a big wound from that so I know dog is capable of causing considerable injury.

positivity123 Thu 02-Jun-16 09:20:05

YANBU. I wouldn't go round. The dog should be put down if it has already bitten your DH

NeedACleverNN Thu 02-Jun-16 09:22:15

You can't guarantee the dog won't be let out.

You can refuse to go round. Besides why should you travel with a nb?

They want to see new baby they make the effort

EatShitDerek Thu 02-Jun-16 09:22:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BillSykesDog Thu 02-Jun-16 09:23:53

No way would I go. They've refused to help with a compromise so they can fuck right off. I hate dog owners like this.

CurlyBlueberry Thu 02-Jun-16 09:24:32

Nope YANBU. They can visit you, why are you expected to traipse round with a newborn anyway?!

I don't have dogs myself but I'm not a dog hater, my aunty has a lovely dog and we've been in the same house with the dog and my children and we just keep an eye on them. This is a different situation, a dog that has already gone for your child once and caused injury to your husband on a separate occasion. No way!

coolaschmoola Thu 02-Jun-16 09:26:05

I would not go. Ever. Babies can be considered prey, this dog went for your child and BIT your DH. It will never be safe. Sod their feelings, they have put the dog's feelings above your children's safety. They come to you, or you meet in public - if not they don't meet the baby. End of. I say this as someone who had a dog and a newborn.

londonrach Thu 02-Jun-16 09:26:22

No matter the breed if a dog bites i thought it was pts. I certainly never leave children and dogs alone and yanbu to not go around as this dog has previous.

ThatStewie Thu 02-Jun-16 09:26:47

If the dog has form for biting and for lunging leaving physical marks when startled, it's not safe to be near a baby. I would refuse to take the baby.

TBH, if the dogs behaviour is that bad, I'd be looking for a no-kill shelter that keeps dogs who can't be rehomed safely.

Tamberlane Thu 02-Jun-16 09:26:55

I wouldnt visit either.
Your pil are in denial about how dangerous their pet is and are minimising this behaviour instead of trying to actively help overcome and fix the behaviour.
Your child may not get bitten....but if they do it could be fatal. why take that risk. If they want to visit they can come to yours or meet up out of the house without the dog. Your childs safety trumps their desire to entertain at home with a dangerous pet.

Gide Thu 02-Jun-16 09:27:00

They're fuckwits. Not exercising the dog will make it tons worse. One of mine was dog aggressive and surprise, I trained him not to fly at other dogs. He gets loads of exercise and I just keep a very wary eye on where other dogs are. They could get a long line, harness and exercise the poor bloody dog. Disgusting.

As for going there with a baby, no way. Can't they come to you?

Finola1step Thu 02-Jun-16 09:27:05

Simple solution. Don't go to their house. They can come to you, without the dog.

Not a chance in hell would I be taking a newborn into a house with an aggressive dog.

OurBlanche Thu 02-Jun-16 09:27:38

OK. Stop demanding now. You have asked, they have responded. You can now quite simply never set foot in their house again.

If they want to see GC they can visit you - without the dog. Easy, their choice, all sorted.

Remember that last bit: this is their choice dog first, GC second. Their choice

BillSykesDog Thu 02-Jun-16 09:28:03

The dog will be out of the way.

It was supposedly 'out of the way' last time it went for a small child.

I'm currently watching my brother and son play with mums 8 year old soft staffy who hasn't even barked at the kids never mind anything else but you never know

This staffy has a history of biting and trying to bite including children. It has caused a bad injury before. It should be put down.

ReggaeShark Thu 02-Jun-16 09:28:13

I wouldn't set foot in the place with children of any age after what happened. Start as you mean to go on. They can visit you. That dog is a serious risk.

ApostrophesMatter Thu 02-Jun-16 09:28:58

You told them what the conditions needed to be and they ignored you.

Just don't go until they agree to cage the dog or, better still, have it pts.

PrimalLass Thu 02-Jun-16 09:29:22

The dog should have been put down for wounding your DP. I would not take my children there at all. Ever.

makingmiracles Thu 02-Jun-16 09:29:24

Exactly there's been no compromising at all, just "it'll be fine we'll shut dog in conservatory" like I'm moaning about nothing.
The reason I thought about insisting I hold the key is because I'm worried dps somewhat dopey db will forget NB is in the house or something and absentmindedly let dog out or something.

Perhaps insisting they come here is easier although not sure how well that'll go down.

NapQueen Thu 02-Jun-16 09:29:52

You really don't need to ever go to their house.

Welshmaenad Thu 02-Jun-16 09:31:23

My ex ILs have a volatile dog. My experience is that if you give an inch they will take ten miles. Put your foot down NOW and set the precedent while you can.

Do not go round there. Do not meet them anywhere they bring the dog. Do not allow the dog to be brought to yours. Get your DP on board and be absolutely firm and unshakeable - none of your children will be in a house with that dog. Ever. Period.

NavyAndWhite Thu 02-Jun-16 09:31:35

I wouldn't go.

The dog sounds like one of those that you read on the news that has attacked their owner.

IWILLgiveupsugar Thu 02-Jun-16 09:32:23

My ILs had an alsatian that hecame very jealous when my ds was born. You cannot trust the ILs to properly secure the dog - if they are anything like mine they will make mistakes and open the door and not be able to control the dog.
I refused to take ds round there - it's just not worth the risk.

Their dog sounds too dangerous to be kept as a pet - it's an attack waiting to happen. What if their neighbours have kids round , is the dog going to try and get at them? Personally I think an untrainable dangerous dog ought to be put down.
I'd be very clear with ILs that my children will be going nowhere near their house for so long as they have that dog.

makingmiracles Thu 02-Jun-16 09:33:24

I agree with other posters btw in that I think it's very cruel he is not walked and potentially has another 8 yrs of life left in him yet, no way for a dog to live. I have delicately mentioned being pts before but they insist they can't put a healthy dog to sleep.

makingmiracles Thu 02-Jun-16 09:36:14

He is never taken out the house btw, too volatile.

Finola1step Thu 02-Jun-16 09:36:19

Oh and the not taking the dog out - dreadful. Poor dog. If they are unable to train it properly then they should be seeking a long term solution with a shelter.

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