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AIBU?

to expect a rsvp?!

21 replies

Torchlight86 · 31/05/2016 05:25

I'm organising my DS 4th birthday party, the first I've ever done, it's in a few weeks and I'm currently in a position where I don't know if 10 or 50 people are going to turn up! I'm on a budget so the thought of forking out for 50 party bags and only 10 kids turn up is pretty upsetting, but then if they all turn up I can't have 10 between the 50 of them!! Why can't people just rsvp when it clearly asks them to on the invite?!! it's added stress to organising a party that you just don't need! Pfft!

OP posts:

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RebootYourEngine · 31/05/2016 05:45

How many invites did you send? I would make that number of party bags. Although im not a fan of party bags. A colouring book and some pencils is much better than a bag full of plastic tat.

DoSomethingKirsty · 31/05/2016 05:47

It's just the way it is with party invites and something you need to get used to. Some reply straight away, some reply the day before and some just turn up without letting you know.

50 invites does seem a bit excessive though...

Torchlight86 · 31/05/2016 06:07

Well, I first planned to invite all the children that would be moving up to school with him this September, but there's 50 due to do so, so in an effort to narrow it down I just invited boys, only 6 out of 25 have replied, so now I'm stuck with the dilemma of, risk only having 6 people at his birthday with is a little bit heart breaking I think, Or invite girls as well and risk them all turning up, which I don't mind except I've hired an entertainer who says he doesn't like doing more that 30 ish kids, and the party bag dilemma! I think like you say I'm just going to have to get the same amount as invites and probably end up with loads left over! It's just frustrating isn't it! I won't be doing proper party bags, I'm going to just do some small cones of sweets that are popular at the minute, I agree bags of plastic rubbish are a waste of time and money!

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Rainbowqueeen · 31/05/2016 06:23

What did you put as the RSVP date?

IME more than 80% of people respond on that date or the day after! And yes it is frustrating and it also drives me crazy. Are you able to chase any parents for a response? Annoying to have to do but good for your sanity

Don't worry about how many kids come, your LO will be so excited he won't notice unless you point it out. I hope he has a lovely party.

Torchlight86 · 31/05/2016 06:41

Thanks rainbow! Someone suggested popping a little reminder in the pigeon holes at pre school for everyone see if that prompts them! I'd love it if they all turned up, I just begrudge spending money of they're not going to that's the thing!

You're right even if it was just him and family there he would love it, since been a child I've always had anxiety over parties and no one coming, so I never had any myself, I just need to keep reminding myself that it will be exciting for him no matter what and maybe brave it out with he half I've sent already!

I honestly thought it would be a doddle doing. A party, and most of it has been, I didn't even consider something like this that would be an issue! Comes from being a novice I guess! Lol I'll know for next time!

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WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeG0es · 31/05/2016 06:51

TBH I would not expect most of the RSVPs till about a week beforehand, even if I've put an RSVP date on the invitation, especially for this sort of party where exact numbers aren't such an issue (as opposed to say soft play where you have to pay per head). I too have held parties as an adult where a lot of invitees haven't made it so I understand the worry but I have never had more than the odd one decline/not turn up for DCs birthdays.

d270r0 · 31/05/2016 06:53

When I recently did a party for my reception aged ds, invited the whole class, I found about a third of those replied with about 1 week to go. A further third gave me answers after I chased them up. The remaining third I got no answers from at all, they didn't turn up. This is despite messages on facebook and written invites in kids bookbags. I think now a lot of people think they should only rspv if they intend to go. Its incredibly annoying. In the end about half the class ended up going. Definitely chase up after a little while with a reminder note to those who haven't paid, and ask parents directly if you know them. I'd leave party bags etc as late as possible until you have a better idea of numbers. Or else invite all the girls, very unlikely all the kids will turn up.

AHellOfABird · 31/05/2016 06:54

Instead of doing sweet cones, can you just buy packets of wrapped sweets with long lives and save any excess for Halloween? Or pencils and rubbers etc, save any excess for his next birthday?

AHellOfABird · 31/05/2016 06:56

So you've actually only sent 25 invites so far and are pondering sending another 25 to the girls?

The party is still a few weeks away, when did you send them?

I would ask pre school to remind parents to RSVP if possible - do
You see any parents at drop off to ask direct?

Torchlight86 · 31/05/2016 07:01

Good idea ahellofabird I will definitely look at something that will last if not used

Yes I've only sent out half to the boys and now panicking about whether I should just leave it at that and worry that only a few will turn up, or send out the rest to the girls too and worried that they will all turn up!

That's the other thing I made an error with, I got far to excited about the birthday and my only real thought was 'get the invites out ASAP and then you'll know how many are coming' so I did send them out a few weeks ago, just over a month til the actual party, which I realise now was probably a massive mistake, hence the thought that I should send out some sort of reminder! I just got a bit carried away and excited and wanted to do everything there and then with out stopping to think it through properly!

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AHellOfABird · 31/05/2016 07:07

Hey, it's ok! A month ahead isn't too bad. How long have people had them?

Is the choice all the girls or none? Could you ask DS to pick a few girls he knows better (in a group of 50 he must be closer to some than others)

AHellOfABird · 31/05/2016 07:08

And a reminder is fine! Some invites may have been lost in the bag or in a pile of stuff at home...

Gizlotsmum · 31/05/2016 07:12

I sent reminders for my 8 yr olds party. I gave an rsvp date and prompted a few days before. Most of the non responders were no's but it takes a second to text/ put a note in a bag.

Torchlight86 · 31/05/2016 07:22

My DS doesn't seem to know (or care about) his friends proper names, they obviously all have nick names for each other because the only people he ever mentions are 'funny face' and 'sad face' etc which is less than helpful! Lol

I'll send some reminders out on Monday when he's back at school and reevaluate then, if they're all no's or I still hear nothing then I will go ahead and invite the rest, it's only really party bags that the extra numbers will affect, food wise it will just mean doing an extra plate or 2 of sandwiches which isn't a big deal! Also don't want to upset the entertainer by inviting more than he would like, but there's going to be a soft play/ball pool thing there too, so I figure there will be some more interested in that than his entertainment so even if there is more than 30 he won't have to deal with them all!

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Lilaclily · 31/05/2016 07:25

Next time send the invites 2 weeks before the parry, that's what people do where I live

TheSnowFairy · 31/05/2016 08:52

I wouldn't invite the rest, you'll end up with loads of children! Just chase up your original list.

SoThatHappened · 31/05/2016 09:08

It's in a few weeks.

It's a childs 4th birthday not a royal garden party.

Sorry op but you dont need several weeks notice to plan some party bags and more will confirm later.

Torchlight86 · 31/05/2016 10:07

sothathappened it's not the planning that is the issue, it's the amount, the difference between paying for say 10 party bags and 30 party bags is pretty big and as I already stated I can't really afford to be spending money on things that are not needed!

The issue is whether people are going to rsvp at all, or just turn up/not turn up on the day, not planning the party bags!

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Hunterflower7 · 31/05/2016 11:58

I had this for my child's first class birthday party. Got a lot of rsvps the day before.
I'd overestimate about 5 party bags, pound land do fab stuff like packs of bubbles, cheap sweets, stickers and I found the supermarkets wiko etc were a lot more privey for the plastic tat

JennyOnAPlate · 31/05/2016 12:15

Unfortunately many people are just fecking rude. I have a couple of friends who think they only have to rsvp if they intend to go and can't understand at all why they should have to tell the party organiser if they're not going

You will also find that a lot of people won't want to commit until the last minute, so I would expect a handful of rsvps in the couple of days before the party.

milliemolliemou · 31/05/2016 12:41

Totally agree re party bags - whoever invented them should be buried in an avalanche of party tat. Nicest going away present I saw was a bulb in a pot, but may be more for older children. Cress or sunflower seeds would be nice - cress with the advantage it's okay if the child doesn't have a garden. Pencils and small colouring books brilliant, especially since they keep. Can't believe people don't reply - nightmare. DD is much older, but still faced with people saying they'll come and then dodging at last minute, or turning up without RSVPing. Which is why God invented spaghetti bolognese and freezers.

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