WARNING! Bit of a long saga here...
I have a set of 4 friends who all went to school together, but I've known them for around 17/18 years. I lived with A for a while and she was bridesmaid at my (first) wedding. We all have kids of a similar age, my DD and Bs DD are 5 yo best friends who have regular sleepovers together. C, I go out regularly with. D I don't see very often and I'd say we're the least close but we get on well. They all have had landmark birthdays this year and I've been part of the celebrations/chipped in for the group presents just between the 5 of us. 3 of us went abroad for a birthday weekend do. So I felt like we were a bit of a group.
Recently I saw a post between 2 of their DHs that made me think the two couples were going away together. Think nothing more. Then I have a text chat with B about half term and she mentions they're going away for a few days with D to a popular seaside resort. Coincidentally, DP and I have also booked to go to the same place on the same weekend. So I reply "oh with A too, that will be lovely, and how funny, DP and I are also there that weekend - without the kids!". The response answers an unrelated question I'd asked. Which makes me feel a bit uncomfortable. Couple of weeks later I see C for drinks, ask about her half term plans and she says she's around in the second half if I want to meet up. So clearly she is also going on this trip, but I didn't ask as she made no comment as to what she was actually doing.
I tell DP about it, and that I don't know why we weren't invited, and he's a bit annoyed on my behalf, but as he has anxiety/self worth issues probably blames this on himself so I kick myself for mentioning it.
Anyway fast forward to the weekend in question, it's the second morning, DP are ring shopping (finally, we've been together years) and we turn around and bump into our friends all together with their kids. Awkward hellos and hugs, various children ask where DD is, DP starts chatting to one of the DHs and I felt ABSOLUTELY FUCKING AWFUL. I made an excuse that we needed to get going, and we walked away while I tried not to cry.
The whole thing has put a massive damper on our happy news - our friends didn't know about it, so I get that it's a moot point, but I haven't actually told any of them yet when normally they'd be among the first I'd tell.
I'm so upset by this, I don't know why we were not invited and can only assume it's because one or both of us has said or done something or is disliked by the others. But I genuinely don't know what.
I'm now torn as to whether I should say something or ignore it - no doubt my odd mood would have been picked up earlier, half of me wants to share our engagement and half of me wants to not invite them to the wedding. Not that I would be so petty, but I feel like I'm 12 and left out of a friendship group again, so much so that I can't sleep and have just cried in bed, like said 12 year old. DD has a sleepover with As DD in a few weeks, and I will lose the battle against not FB sharing our news in a day or so, so it's not like I can just ignore everyone - it will be picked up as a slight if I share without letting them know personally.
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to be upset friends didn't invite us away?
144 replies
srirachaface · 31/05/2016 00:22
OP posts:
MadamDeathstare ·
31/05/2016 00:53
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MadamDeathstare ·
31/05/2016 01:09
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