Teen DDs and 'pocket money'

(14 Posts)
BigSandyBalls2015 Mon 30-May-16 19:36:59

Had a row earlier with 15 year old DD who thinks I'm being VU!! Now DH has made me doubt myself!

She announced yesterday that she was off to Westfield today with friends, all fine, nice she's going out etc, sister going too, same age. I mentioned money, as in you've spent this months allowance so how are you going to fund this trip, as I seem to be giving them both money every time they arrange something, despite them receiving £40 per month from grandparents.

So she asked what needed doing around the house, garden etc to earn some money. Great, I suggested a few things, although slightly torn about whether she should actually be paid for them.

DD disappeared back to her screens and finally emerged to unload the dishwasher and grudgingly picked up a few piles of garden cuttings and put them in the bin. Oh and she also hoovered her room.

Today her grandma gave her £20, so DD was all excited saying she'd have plenty at Westfield, I said well I don't need to give you anything now as you have money to go! She assumed she would still get a tenner or so for "all the work she did" shock.

Views please,

Guiltypleasures001 Mon 30-May-16 19:38:56

A deals a deal, don't let her use this against you in future, or let her think you don't keep your word that's the more important thing

Abbinob Mon 30-May-16 19:39:00

Well she asked what needed doing for some money and she did it so it would be a bit mean to not give her it now

SouthWesterlyWinds Mon 30-May-16 19:39:07

Did she do all the work agreed? If so, then YABU and need to pay up.

branofthemist Mon 30-May-16 19:39:26

So agrees to pay her for jobs, she did the jobs and you backed out of paying her?

Yes Yabu. If you don't like paying her to do jobs you should have never agreed to do it in the first place.

Florinda2016 Mon 30-May-16 19:39:35

If you entered into a verbal contract to pay her for jobs around the house and she did as contracted you should cough up.

MatchsticksForMyEyes Mon 30-May-16 19:39:52

I would have left it after you pointed out she spent her allowance. The chores you mentioned should just be part of a cooperative household, not something you need to be bribed to do.
She needs to learn to make her allowance last.

BabyDubsEverywhere Mon 30-May-16 19:44:55

You can't not pay her now she did the jobs! Whether grudgingly or not (are you seriously expecting a teen to skip with delight at housework? Or anyone for that matter!)

Why don't you just work out a set amount you will give her for pocket money so she knows where she stands and doesn't have to bug you for cash every time she wants to leave the house?

TeenAndTween Mon 30-May-16 19:45:52

I agree with Matchsticks

soundslikethat Mon 30-May-16 19:49:19

Also agree with Matchsticks

IrregularCommentary Mon 30-May-16 19:59:48

She asked what she could do to earn some money from you and you suggested stuff. If she's done it then it's pretty unfair not to pay her now just because she's been given money from grandparents as well.

Whether she should be paid for helping around the house is another issue, but irrelevant here given you already made that deal.

BigSandyBalls2015 Mon 30-May-16 20:03:54

OK. This is what DH has been saying.

sepa Mon 30-May-16 20:07:33

I agree you should have paid up.
Do you give DC pocket money or just grandparents?
If you give them money maybe split it and give each week instead of monthly?

honeylulu Mon 30-May-16 20:57:57

A bit mean of you to agree she could do jobs for money and then not pay her because she happened to get money elsewhere. My mum used to do this. ie I used to do a fair bit of unpaid work experience (wanted to work in a particular and very competitive field) and sometimes would get paid a discretionary sum at the end of the week. My mum would quiz me about this and then deduct it from my (6th form) allowance or their termly contribution to my uni living expenses. I would have been better off sitting on my arse and doing fuck all. (I ended up not having a career in that field so it wasn't rewarding in that sense either. ) I know it's not exactly the same situation but it's what it reminded me of.
I just ended up lying to her and telling her I earned nothing. I felt bad about it but I'm not stupid. Be fair. Don't let it end up like that.

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