Not a huge deal, but got an email yesterday from Scouts regarding my younger son's volunteering with the beavers saying that his performance with them had been disappointing and he hadn't got sufficiently involved so that they weren't signing him off at the moment but instead giving him some weeks to show an improvement. We've been involved in Scouts since Beavers and I have nothing but praise and respect for the leaders who give up their time for the children.
Fair enough, I spoke to him and he hasn't been proactive so I explained that he should be going to the leaders and asking what they wanted him to do or seeing something that needed done and asking if they wanted him to do it. However, he also said that they didn't tell him what they wanted and he felt unsure and doesn't really know how to speak to or deal with small children.
He is also a teenager and can at times have that teenage "can't be bothered" look, I also said to him that that can be interpreted as not wanting to get involved and could put people of approaching him.
Anyway, I emailed back apologising and saying that he'd agreed to be more proactive and also said that I didn't want to make excuses but that he had felt shy and unsure and in teenagers that can manifest itself into a certain demeanor. None of the regular leaders at the beavers have teenagers yet.
Thinking about it later I realised that I hadn't asked my son if they'd spoken to him about it so I checked this morning and it turns out they haven't.
He's been going since last August (way over the 6 months he asked for, has missed one meeting due to the fact it was a hill climb and he'd only just finished his expedition the day before and his feet were blistered.
So, my feeling is that they have plenty of opportunity to make him aware of what they expect (i.e. mature behaviour in being pro active) but when he hasn't demonstrated this they come straight to his parents instead of him. AIBU to think they should have spoken to him first?
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AIBU?
To think that if you expect adult behaviour you need to treat the person as an adult?
49 replies
OneMagnumisneverenough · 30/05/2016 10:23
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