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AIBU?

Afternoon tea for wedding breakfast

81 replies

WonderingAround · 29/05/2016 13:23

If you were served afternoon tea as a wedding breakfast would you enjoy it or feel short changed and prefer a hot three course meal?

I attended a wedding recently where the wedding breakfast was "afternoon tea" which was three small filled rolls per person and some tiny defrosted cakes. I think anything you're given at a wedding is gratefully received but DP moaned a lot afterwards that he was starving and it was like a child's packed lunch. It was all discussed more because the groom was very "groomzilla" and obsessed with his wedding telling all and sundry how much it had cost and constantly asking people what they thought of such and such which just seemed like fishing for compliments.

OP posts:
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AuntieStella · 29/05/2016 13:26

It sounds fine.

If you invite your guests for a time that covers when it's a normal mealtime, then you feed them that meal.

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PurpleDaisies · 29/05/2016 13:26

We went to a picnic style wedding breakfast which had all the food served in a big hamper for each table. It was fantastic.

It sounds like you just didn't get enough food. I think afternoon tea could have worked as a celebration meal.

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ExitPursuedByBear · 29/05/2016 13:28

There was a thread a few weeks where guests were only served one scone.

I think a proper afternoon tea would be fine. With lots of sarnies and proper cakes and scones and jam and clotted cream. And fizz.

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Princesspeach1980 · 29/05/2016 13:30

I think it depends on the time of day. I got married at 3pm so had afternoon tea, and then a hot buffet later on at the evening do. No one went hungry though, we had mountains of sandwiches, scones with strawberries and cakes, with tea, coffee and Buck's Fizz. I love an afternoon tea Smile

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WorraLiberty · 29/05/2016 13:31

I suppose it depends on how long you were there for.

If the wedding finished at 11pm for example and that's all you'd had to eat, you'd be chewing your arm off by the time you got home.

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lateforeverything · 29/05/2016 13:31

Went to a wedding last year where the meal was a miniscule salad and a little pork pie. Dh thought it was the starter but no other food came...

You could buy some more food if you wanted to though Hmm

Wouldn't have bothered us so much if we too hadn't had it shoved down our throat that this and that cost x and y etc etc. That was a piss-take.

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ZippyNeedsFeeding · 29/05/2016 13:32

Afternoon tea could be fab, done properly. Plenty of sandwiches, little quiches, sausage rolls and then loads of scones,Chelsea buns (essential, I make fantastic Chelsea buns!)fairy cakes,and other baked treats would be plenty. I often to afternoon tea for celebrations and nobody is ever hungry afterwards.

It's all about entering into the spirit of a celebration tea. If it's done well it feels generous and indulgent. If not then it just feels mean. It doesn't have to be expensive either. I started doing celebration teas because they are so cheap and it's easy to feel large numbers for not much money.

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blackbirdmilkshake · 29/05/2016 13:33

I went to a wedding with afternoon tea and we were all starving pretty much straight after!

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lateforeverything · 29/05/2016 13:34

If it's done well it feels generous and indulgent. If not then it just feels mean. Spot on Zippy!

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kellyb220982 · 29/05/2016 13:37

When we got married the hotel did advise that we stay away from the 'traditional' afternoon tea idea so instead we had a proper meat/vegetable main and our dessert was the normal cakes/pastries on stands you'd get with afternoon tea. We also found the venues that regularly served afternoon tea in their restaurants also wacked up the price if you wanted it as your wedding breakfast. Weddings are a very personal thing though and can be expensive! it can be hard to strike that balance to have the day/theme/touches you want as the bride and groom but also make sure your guests enjoy it. Maybe the day didn't turn out quite as the groom had hoped and he was looking for reassurance?

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PreAdvent13610 · 29/05/2016 13:38

We did afternoon tea for our wedding. Buffet style so the hungry people could have seconds.
Lots of sandwiches including cucumber, savoury canapes also a massive cheese board and cold meat selection. Scones with all the trimmings and sweet canapes. I think most people were stuffed by the time they had grazed all the offerings.
DH's family turned their noses up at the idea at first and had a restaurant booked for the evening. However, they were too full up to go.
Auntie has it right, feed your guests the appropriate meal and don't skimp on the quantities. Some people are really attached to their food.

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TheCrumpettyTree · 29/05/2016 13:38

I think at a wedding the comfort of your guests should be important and that goes for feeding them.

Afternoon tea can be brilliant, but that doesn't sound like much food and I'd be going home early to the nearest chip shop.

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OrlandaFuriosa · 29/05/2016 13:43

It depends on the time if day.

Our wedding was at 2.30. There was a family lunch before hand for the ILs, then the reception afterwards. I insisted that as it was a northern wedding there were cups of tea, the village wouldn't have understood if there weren't. There was also champagne. And eats, enough to make the farmers full. I recall my brother in law wandering around with a huge plate of sandwiches and then a piece of some sort if cake. It wasn't a sit down do and we didn't go on into the evening. My bridesmaids went out to dinner in the evening and could face neither food nor champagne, nor the blokes they were either, which for hardened drinkers was saying something.

There's no excuse for meanness.

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sepa · 29/05/2016 13:44

If its done right then it's amazing BUT I went to a wedding that had a really shit afternoon tea selection like your one sounds OP and I was very pissed off, hungry and pregnant at the time

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barbecue · 29/05/2016 13:45

If it's a long day and people are coming from a distance I think a 2+ course dinner is the most hospitable. Tea/coffee and cake can follow later on.

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ReturnOfTheJewel · 29/05/2016 13:46

I went to a wedding a few weeks ago where there was a buffet-style afternoon tea (sandwiches, mini quiches, vol au vents, salmon, sausage rolls etc), fresh cream cakes and a huge cupcake stand. The B&G had also put on a table in the anteroom with several varieties of pop/juice/water/tea/coffee. It was amazing - lovely and relaxed.

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OrlandaFuriosa · 29/05/2016 13:46

Pre advent, we obv had the same idea! Ditto with the ILs who thought we needed a sit down do. Blow that.

Ours was a bit like Flora's wedding in cold comfort farm. The gentry ate the farm type produce, the farmers ate the posh stuff, they all drank tea and champagne.

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Lolimax · 29/05/2016 13:49

We did afternoon (and Pimms!) for ours. Loads of cakes and sandwiches plus breads and cheeses and pates. So much food people couldn't finish it all.
For the evening we had a hog roast, salads and a sweet cart plus a selection of cup cakes. No one went hungry!

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TheCrumpettyTree · 29/05/2016 13:51

You don't want people to remember your wedding because they were hungry.

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barbecue · 29/05/2016 13:51

Buffets are great but a lot of people like at least one hot dinner a day. Would your timetable allow people to go to the pub for cooked food before or after the proceedings?

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SapphireStrange · 29/05/2016 13:52

I'd love it. Sounds like the amount of food was the problem here, not the kind. You'd need plenty of sandwiches and maybe savoury snacks like vol au vent type things, as well as cakes of course.

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SapphireStrange · 29/05/2016 13:52

a lot of people like at least one hot dinner a day

There's lots of things I like but I don't always get them. Is it such a big problem? (quantities aside, as above).

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ClashCityRocker · 29/05/2016 13:53

See the afternoon teas mentioned on this thread that sound like a decent spread aren't what I think of when I think of afternoon tea - I would be more than happy with them!

We went to one where it was served from the cake stand, one tier of finger sandwiches, one tier of macaroons and a scone. It was served at four o'clock after a 1'o clock ceremony and there was nothing else til bacon baps at nine.

Dh doesn't eat sweet things anyway so was stuck with finger sandwiches. He isn't a huge eater but was starving and we ended up leaving early. Tbh, it would be fine if the celebration ended after the afternoon tea but I don't think it works as the main offering at a full day affair.

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wiccamum · 29/05/2016 13:54

I went to a wedding recently that had an afternoon tea post ceremony, it was lovely, really beautiful. But there was a hot meal later in the evening, so we weren't starving!

I love that picnic hamper idea, sounds great!

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Floggingmolly · 29/05/2016 13:58

Afternoon tea, done properly, is absolutely fine. What op got wasn't afternoon tea, it was a packed lunch.
Btw, how do you know the cakes had been "defrosted?"

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