what do do about my life

(53 Posts)
younglove123 Sat 28-May-16 20:39:16

Hi my partner and I have been together 10 yrs never been on holiday, away for a weekend together don't do anything together, (cinema, nights outs meals) we have two young kids and no support from our parents so cant do these things. I have the same routine everyday don't no what to do the only friend I have is moving away any ideas WHAT CAN WE DO?

allegretto Sat 28-May-16 20:40:08

Get a babysitter?

Savagebeauty Sat 28-May-16 20:41:38

Is it a money issue?

younglove123 Sat 28-May-16 20:42:27

He has trust issues and we cant afford it.

younglove123 Sat 28-May-16 20:46:36

He is the only one working, have a mortgage to pay and he hates his job so much as well.

ilovesooty Sat 28-May-16 20:48:46

Trust issues?

allegretto Sat 28-May-16 20:50:46

Can you work? If you can afford to go out then you can afford a babysitter - just not as often.

CalleighDoodle Sat 28-May-16 20:51:01

He sounds controlling.

awhfuck Sat 28-May-16 20:51:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

younglove123 Sat 28-May-16 20:52:37

well I think when I cant trust our mums to look after them how can I trust anyone else

SisterViktorine Sat 28-May-16 20:56:04

How old are the DC?

Petal40 Sat 28-May-16 20:57:29

Do you want to be together?,do you love him? Then you will sort it out....you don't have to stay together ...ten yrs is a long time,sounds like youve got in a rut,trip to the park with kids and an ice cream is a start....make a candle lit dinner for when the kids are in bed....strict bedtimes 7 pm lights out for kids and have movie nights ,dinner dates ,sex on the floor of the lounge ,when the kids are in bed, see that as yr couple time X it gets easier honsetly

younglove123 Sat 28-May-16 20:58:14

they are 2 and 4

ritaconnors Sat 28-May-16 20:58:35

Well for an easy start do something nice during the day with the children.

I know that you have bigger problems than that though. flowers

BonitaFangita Sat 28-May-16 21:00:23

Why can't you trust your mum's to lookk after the kids?

YouAreMyRain Sat 28-May-16 21:03:44

Get a babysitter from childcare.co.uk
They are all CRB checked, with reviews from families that use them. Lots are registered childminders during the day. The first time I used mine I was very anxious but she's great, very experienced, arrives with a bag of activities etc

SisterViktorine Sat 28-May-16 21:03:47

OK, so once 2yo gets to 3 you will have 15hrs free childcare a week. Could you then start a course or do some volunteering so you are out each day meeting new people?

Do you enjoy looking after DC? If so perhaps you could register as a CM and just take one extra- would give you money to go out in the evening?

Does you partner have issues that mean they don't want to try new things or has it just ended up that way? You were together a long time before DC, did you not go out for dinner etc before they came along?

NerrSnerr Sat 28-May-16 21:04:15

Why didn't you do anything before you had children? What happened when you were dating?

Could you do something with the children at the weekend? If money's an issue could you work? Will your 2 year old be going to preschool soon? If so he could take the odd day leave so you can go out.

defineme Sat 28-May-16 21:06:32

Your kids are very little, so I assume you have time when they're in bed?
Board games, netflix, cheap bottle of wine, chatting in the back garden, bbq-dh and I are easily pleased.
These years are hard but they're precious too, try and enjoy them.

younglove123 Sat 28-May-16 21:07:05

yes love each other to bits we are engaged as 4 yrs kids are in bed a 7pm every night he sits on one seat me on the sofa wont sit beside me only time he does is when he wants sex. he says hes depressed because he hates his job he cant find a new one and he is soo lazy I have to do everything washing, cleaning cutting the grass and diy

SisterViktorine Sat 28-May-16 21:10:29

Could you find a ft job and him be a SAHD for a couple of years until they are in school?

What did you work as before the DC?

YouAreMyRain Sat 28-May-16 21:11:44

Get a babysitter from childcare.co.uk
They are all CRB checked, with reviews from families that use them. Lots are registered childminders during the day. The first time I used mine I was very anxious but she's great, very experienced, arrives with a bag of activities etc

Handsoffmysweets Sat 28-May-16 21:15:32

OP I'm sorry if this sounds harsh but are you together because of habit?

younglove123 Sat 28-May-16 21:18:53

my mum lost one of them in a shop she just put sweets in there mouth if they cry (because I don't like to hear them cry) I only give them sweets as a treat. His mum wants to take them in car all the time and she drives to fast and dangerous and she is bad with depression, there my kids aunt hates kids wont even talk to them. I was at college doing hair and beauty when I became pregnant so don't have full qualification. I don't want to do that career any more

awhfuck Sat 28-May-16 21:20:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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