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AIBU?

To want to move because I hate my neighbours?

64 replies

mumtomaxwell · 28/05/2016 16:47

We got off to a bad start... They moved in 6 months ago and had a couple of late night parties. The second one upset all the neighbours because of teenagers outside swearing and v loud music. They apologised and assured us they are "decent people". Her words, not mine!
There have been a few minor issues since - more loud music, inconsiderate parking etc - but nothing terribly wrong. I just hate them with a passion that frightens me!
I dread coming home, and I hate weekends because their windows are open and the music is blaring. Right now they're outside shouting at each other and swearing. They're just so loud and inconsiderate. I don't want to go in my garden or my conservatory because all I can hear is them.
I love my house, I just hate the people next door! They're renting at the moment but have the option to buy and the thought of that makes me feel ill. My DH thinks it's better the devil we know - after all we could end up living next to properly bad neighbours. WWYD?

OP posts:
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SoleBizzz · 28/05/2016 16:51

Do you like your house? Do you rent or have a mortgage? Can you get a detached property?

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mumtomaxwell · 28/05/2016 17:00

It's a detached and we have a mortgage. I absolutely love the house!

OP posts:
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seeyounearertime · 28/05/2016 17:01

Are you living near me OP?

We moved here a couple months ago, it seemed fine. over the last couple weeks the weather has brightened up and they're all out. Every one of our neighbours all sit in their front gardens, they drink, smoke god knows what and have conversations at full volume. It literally drives me to distraction, so much so i have bought ear defenders to wear in my home to block them out.

Roll on winter when they'll stay in doors.

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hooliodancer · 28/05/2016 17:16

Oh I feel your pain, and had a thread about it a few weeks ago.

We are putting my beloved house on the market because of the utter cunts next door. I feel terrible today, planting annuals in the garden (as I always would) thinking about how they will look on the photos, not how I will enjoy them. I feel like crying all the time.

I hate my neighbours so much though. Every time I see or hear them my stomach churns. I have tried to block it out but haven't been able to. I have had six months of hell and enough is enough. We are - hopefully- moving a long way, starting a new life. If it all works out we will have a bigger house with no mortgage, as we live in a very expensive area at the moment. I am terrified!

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Babyroobs · 28/05/2016 17:21

I have considered moving because of neighbours. I don't hate them they are really nice but just so noisy, kids screaming all the time waking us up early. always lots of people round. I just need peace and quiet but keep telling myself that isn't guaranteed anywhere unless we moved somewhere remote.

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seeyounearertime · 28/05/2016 17:24

I just need peace and quiet but keep telling myself that isn't guaranteed anywhere unless we moved somewhere remote.

I would totally love to go somewhere remote, i'd happily live in the middle of a field, 10 miles from anyone. unfortunately i cant afford that. :(

Maybe all of us quiet types could set up a silent commune and all club together to buy a remote field somewhere. Grin

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yongnian · 28/05/2016 17:27

Not even somewhere quiet and remote are you guaranteed peace or decent neighbours - we are in the middle of absolute nowhere and our only neighbours are genuinely psychopathic bastards - we have endured 2 years of sheer hell at the hands of them...(honestly big scary stuff) and are desperately trying to sell to get away from them.
So no, YANBU. Move somewhere else - life's too short.
Sympathy for you.

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Lokisglowstickofdestiny · 28/05/2016 17:33

I'd wait and see if they do end up buying before you decide anything. Your DH is right you could go to all the expense and upheaval of moving and still find yourselves next to a bunch of knobs, unless you plan to live in the middle of nowhere. I think if you love your house, I'd see how it goes. I'm surrounded by kids playing in the gardens at this time of year, the combined noise can be pretty bad, I just plug myself in to some music or an audiobook and they fade out eventually.

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curren · 28/05/2016 17:38

It's a difficult one, because you dh is right. You could move and end up with worse neighbours.

We moved into this house because we hates the neighbours at our old house. The son (adult in his 30s) threatened to cut dhs throat. We called the police and it turned out he had loads of previous for violent offences.

I could cry when I pass the house. It was lovely, in walking distance to both kids schools, huge garden etc.

The house we live in now is nice, but the last home was perfect. However we have great neighbours who all get on and even have BBQs and bonfires.

I miss my old home, but if I wanted to move I would want to take my neighbours with me.

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APlaceOnTheCouch · 28/05/2016 17:38

If they're renting, can you complain to the LL? It might be worth a try.

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Chatarunga · 28/05/2016 17:42

Yeh, stick it out and see what happens next. I live ND to 2 elderly ladies and they're quite noisy, between their dog barking incessantly (it's barking NOW, as I type) and their back door opening and closing every five minutes with a slam each time to let the dog in, or out, and in, and out........... argh. They also lean over the wall to talk to the neighbours on their other side, loudly, I can hear their phone ringing, their tv blaring.................. but they are two nice ladies. They brought over a plant when I moved in. They gave my DC easter eggs.

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ILoveAGoodBrusselSprout · 28/05/2016 17:49

I couldn't stand the neighbours in our last house. They screamed and shouted, set fires (really big ones) 2 or 3 times a week to burn their household rubbish, shouted a swore at us over the hedge when we mowed the lawn, so much more...

We moved, but only because we were planning on moving eventually anyway. They just spurred us on to do it a year or two earlier.

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Chatarunga · 28/05/2016 17:51

wow Shock burning household rubbish!

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Helloooomeee · 28/05/2016 17:54

No advice but I feel your pain. I moved to get away from a genuine psychotic witch from hell over the fence and a rented house next door with a regular turn over of inconsiderates. I decided life was too short and to fight them with a smile and kindness which earned me the nickname of "that bitch nextdoor" Wink I love my neighbours now. I get to live my life and keep myself to myself with no unwanted intrusion.

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teacher54321 · 28/05/2016 17:54

Our neighbours are lovely, the people who live in the house our garden backs on to-not so much... They have two toddlers who literally scream in the garden all day and don't have a bedtime, so they stay outside in the summer until it gets dark.... We're staying for two more years until we clear some debt and then we're selling up and hopefully buying somewhere detached!

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MadisonMontgomery · 28/05/2016 17:56

I was literally just thinking this! My street is always lovely and quiet, but my fab old neighbour has rented his house out to a couple in their early 20's. They are just really really noisy - currently sat in the garden with horrid dance music playing incredibly loudly and are bellowing at each other over it. Their friends and family are always parking across my drive (admittedly they do move their cars with good grace when asked, but it's still annoying) and then this morning instead of moving their first car off the drive so they could use their second car, they just drove across my front lawn!! I am really tempted to complain to their landlord as I know he'll have words with them, but I'm worried it will cause tons of bad feeling.

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JoffreyBaratheon · 28/05/2016 17:58

Our neighbours have made ourlives a living hell since they moved in nearly 3 years ago. No prospect of them moving as they managed to score a council house in a tiny village with a vast garden - and they came from one of the local city's sink estates. (After being chucked out for ASB - our council didn't check them out til their antisocial behaviour started ringing alarm bells). They have 4 CCTV cameras - two pointed down our garden. And can't say a single sentence without three 'fucks' in it. Child abuse, (verbal - and they have voices like foghorns, the parents although their kids are silent). Dog beating.. you name it - but they always get away with it and report us, tit for tat if we report them to any authorities.

I'm determined to stay put, though as this has been my home for 14 years and where I brought my kids up (two teens still at home). They constantly call the police on us (most recently for my kids playing FIFA).
And everyone else in this little stand of houses is out at work in the day (I work from home) so I am left alone with the sound of their DV next door, hoping nothing spills out onto the road, outside.

I suspect they're in a witness protection programme or something - not just because their house is bristling with cameras yet they moved in with no carpets or furniture, and one carload of stuff - but because every time we go to the police, etc some excuse is made and they get left in situ.

We're council tenants as are they (Our council, a small one neighbouring York, decided to take York's problem tenants). My autistic kid loves this house as it's in the countryside, and he adores it here and doesn't like change so I don't want to move.

I am hoping to buy the house cash if we ever come into our 'inheritances' and then rent it out and move out instantly.

The neighbour is a racist dick who rants loudly during his endless BBQs about 'Poles' stealing his job (not that he has ever looked for one) so I fully hope to rent my house to a large group of Eastern Europeans, and will give them a discount on their rent if they have a riotous party every Saturday (when my nice neighbour on the other side is out).

We have the nicest neighbours we have ever had in our lives on the other side, and as we share a drive and a section of garden - it's just as well. They hate this pair of drunken losers, as well.

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barbecue · 28/05/2016 18:14

I would definitely move in that situation, if possible. Obviously there's give and take with neighbours, but there are limits.

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Petal40 · 28/05/2016 18:20

Omg,I actually emailed the council today,,,I put,pls help me my kids have exams yet the people in the house behinned us play constant loud music what can I do'.....the council haven't replied yet..but it is Saturday .i feel yr pain I really do...I just want to punch these people...

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Shannyfanny · 28/05/2016 18:28

its the negative energy you don't like and the akwardness. I hate my neighbours as well, well the two in my house, the rest on the street are nice. Got off to a bad start because im private and when i first moved in they were constantly knocking on my door nearly everyday trying to get me involved in their problems they have with eachother. I told them both im not interested in their problems, i don't dislike anyone and then they become friends and turned against me lol
They both made up complaints about me trying to get me evicted didn't work now they are quiet but i still hate them because of the stress they put me through.
I don't want to move though, people like my neighbours are yours are just irrelvants but then again yours make noise so many be different i know how draining noise is

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Purplehonesty · 28/05/2016 18:33

We moved from a lovely home because of our neighbours.

I couldn't relax in my own home - couldn't be outside as the kids would be shouting abuse over the fence as they bounced on the trampoline. Couldn't be inside as the screaming from the mother and the other kids came through the walls day and night. Then she started childminding when I was on Mat leave and screamed at these kids all day too.

I dreaded going home and was always thinking of places we could go on a sunny day instead of sitting in our own garden!

What was worse is that we bought the house from some of dh's friends who said they 'occasionally heard the kids playing in the garden!'

So when ds was 6 months and summer was approaching I snapped and told dh we were moving. I sold the house and we moved out within three weeks. Sold it to a mum with teenagers and told her why. She said well my oldest does like his drum kit!!

And now we live in the middle of nowhere. One neighbour (grandad) and birds wake us up if we sleep in late. It's bliss. I haven't ever regretted it even tho we are 40 miles away from a decent clothes shop or cinema.
It's worth it to be happy at home and to be able to spend a whole day in the garden. Our kids don't bother anyone either.

Epic long post sorry

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abbsismyhero · 28/05/2016 18:50

my neighbors at the side are fine at the back nightmare bonfires all the time when its dry and sunny out smoke everywhere setting fire to sofas swearing kids who jump in my garden barking dogs i personally love the summer months and love being outdoors but they make it uncomfortable its not just the naked in the window watching us its the naked on the trampoline the howling because he has had five bowls of ice cream and is not allowed more (i swear i nearly ditched a tub over the fence to stop him howling the heartbreaking sobs made me feel sad and pissed off at his dad all at the same time) then they had another bonfire just as i was thinking about drying more washing

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Ebayaholic · 28/05/2016 18:56

Joffrey if they are on a witness protection scheme and you suspect this, wouldn't they get moved elsewhere, if their cover was blown? Wink

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WinniePooh101 · 28/05/2016 18:57

I feel your pain! I posted this just the other day...

We live in a small block of flats, really quiet area, and always got on really well with the couple above us. They split and she moved out and he met a new girlfriend a couple of months ago and everything has changed. He's only young, mid 20's and I think his new girlfriend is about 18/19. She is so different to his ex, really loud, every other word that comes out of her mouth is fuck, she gives me filthy looks even though I've never spoken to her, I'm no threat to her btw I'm in my 30's with a baby. She seems to be there most of the time and they always have the windows wide open and you can hear everything. Whether they're arguing or talking every other word is fuck...The other night we could hear her telling him about a fight she'd recently had and how she got the girl on the ground and was kicking her in the head!!

The turning point came for us 3 weeks ago on a Wednesday evening when they were up all night drinking, music blaring until 4.30am, I was knocking on their door at 2am, 3am, 4am but they ignored us,, DP has to get up at 5am and I get up at 6am, we both work full time. We'd had several nights like this over the previous few weeks but that night I cracked. We saw him the following day and told him how annoyed we were and he was really apologetic and promised it wouldn't happen again. We also told him we could hear everything when they had sex too so would also be great if they could take that down a notch. Despite having 3 other young couples live in that flat and never hearing anything apart from the occasional bed squeak we hear everything with him because she seems to scream through their entire session! Think porn film noises and then ramp it up a dozen times!

Anyway, they've been much quieter for the last 3 weeks but now we've had 2 nights again of music being turned off at 4.30am, they're literally going to bed as we get up for work, their sex sessions are just ridiculous you can hear her constantly, as my DP put it "She must scream with every stroke!" Then you get all the 'fuck me' you're fucking making me come etc...' the other night we heard her say "I haven't fucking come fucking wank me off" We laid in bed thinking for gods sake hurry up. We know they do coke which in itself doesn't bother us but I think thats what fuels their sex sessions coz when they are at it it always seems to start about 1am and is on and off until about 4.30/5.00am

A couple of days ago I saw her and she just glared at me so I'm presuming he told her I'd spoken to him. As they walked away I heard him say "Don't fucking stare at her don't fucking cause trouble again" and they went on to have an argument about it.

We all share the same landlord and I've spoken to him and asked him to give them a warning about the noise because it's not on. Landlord has come back and he's evicting them!

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FoxSticks · 28/05/2016 19:05

We moved from our last house because of a twatty neighbour. We asked his kids not to kick their ball against our house once and he just had it in for us after that. He lived a few doors away, around the corner and he'd jump on a mobility scooter (that he didn't need) with a stereo and just drive endless circles in front of our house blaring music whilst his girlfriend sniggered. God he was an arse. We are in a much nicer house now, I'm so pleased he pushed us into moving.

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