To think my friend is being an arse and not a free spirit?

(111 Posts)
TwinklTwinkl Sat 28-May-16 09:28:15

Friend has got herself into some really hairy situations over the years. She loves to travel but looks down on being 'a tourist'. So wherever the tourist guides say not to go to, she goes. She also goes home with random people she meets. Then she comes home and tries to tell funny stories about it!

I've just seen a photo of her in another fucking dangerous place. I want to bang my head against a wall 😡

Branleuse Sat 28-May-16 09:31:11

oh well. What can you do?

You want her to go AI in majorca for a week instead?

TwinklTwinkl Sat 28-May-16 09:32:08

No. Staying out of favelas would be a bonus though.

CigarsofthePharoahs Sat 28-May-16 09:33:29

Unfortunately it's her choice where she goes.
Still, you could always buy her a few books - I'm thinking the biography of Terry Waite or similar.

JennyOnAPlate Sat 28-May-16 09:33:43

It's not exactly sensible to go home with random strangers in a foreign country, but she's an adult.

Birdsgottafly Sat 28-May-16 09:34:29

All you can do is decide not to be there "to pick up the pieces", if something goes wrong.

I'm always careful who I travel to North Africa with. I've gone and have to 'babysit' Women in the past.

It's frustrating, but you've got to detach.

RandyMagnum Sat 28-May-16 09:35:07

Sounds like a Gap Year Wanker, met plenty before. You've never really been to place, unless you've been to some obscure back water shithole near to where you actually went. You went there on holiday, they went there travelling, etc. etc.

LunaLoveg00d Sat 28-May-16 09:38:00

What are you classing as "dangerous" thought? Some people think Faliraki or Magaluf are dangerous. Others are thinking Syria or Kashmir.

TwinklTwinkl Sat 28-May-16 09:39:28

If she was oblivious to the danger it wouldn't be so bad. The annoying thing is that she is fully aware of what she is doing!

VeryBitchyRestingFace Sat 28-May-16 09:39:49

What kind of "dangerous place"? Is she in Syria?

TwinklTwinkl Sat 28-May-16 09:41:40

Current example: favelas in S America. Previous examples have included the dodgy bits of Moscow, L.A., N.Y. and South Africa.

gingergenie Sat 28-May-16 09:43:04

Just tell her that the Favelas are the latest trend in tourist destinations (according to the guardian). www.theguardian.com/travel/2013/nov/04/rio-de-janeiro-brazil-favela-tourism
Or tell her if she wants adventure, thamesmead or Croydon are a good bet!

Myusernameismyusername Sat 28-May-16 09:44:09

She said favela so it's South America.

You can't help but worry, I would worry too. They don't sound like somewhere I would ever consider going on holiday. But as she is a bit of a thrill seeker she could equally be throwing herself out of planes and climbing dangerous mountains too, and you would still worry then!

SuperFlyHigh Sat 28-May-16 09:49:14

Favelas are fine actually! I've been to one in Brazil (strictly tour guide we weren't really encouraged to wander round it as British tourists) and another friend who's done more exotic stuff like Vietnam, Cambodia etc also did a favela trip but escorted.

I just double checked and most advice seems to be "don't do it alone highly advised its dangerous" so if she has done this then she is stupid.

TwinklTwinkl Sat 28-May-16 09:51:08

She will say that she has done it alone. I can only hope she hasn't been so daft.

Thankfully she has a firm fear of adventure sports!

SuperFlyHigh Sat 28-May-16 09:51:19

If by "going home with ransoms" means she's sleeping with people then tell her to use a condom. I know a French guy who caught aids (HIV) when doing his national service in Senegal, he didn't die of it but he got so guilty he had it (had a family afterwards etc) that he killed himself. Very sad.

Baboooshka Sat 28-May-16 09:53:14

Is she like this in the UK, too? Or is poverty and violence only interesting to her when it's exotic?

I know you'll probably get a lot of 'mind your own business' responses, which is probably fair enough (and it is good to get off the beaten track)... but I do know what you mean.

I used to live in LA and one visiting British friend really wanted to go to some extremely dangerous areas -- not so much for the cultural interest as the 'hey, I went DRINKING in COMPTON' bragging rights. It's part voyeurism, part thrill-seeking and is generally undercut with the quiet conviction that nothing bad could happen to you: you're just a nice tourist. I assume it's pretty fucking annoying when you live in those areas, too, and have affluent visitors dropping in and out like it's a human safari.

SuperFlyHigh Sat 28-May-16 09:53:50

It's strange the first page I checked re favelas in Brazil is "if you go alone (eg not with a local) there will be lots of suspicious eyes on you".

You also stand out far more if you're fair/blonde as though they have Germans/German mixes they tend to live (had friend out there German mum) in the gated communities so away from favalas!

PeppaIsMyHero Sat 28-May-16 09:54:46

Yes, she is being an arse. Free spirits don't feel the need to brag about their adventures.

SuperFlyHigh Sat 28-May-16 09:54:49

Ransoms - I meant randoms!

Frikonastick Sat 28-May-16 09:56:39

Is she like this in the UK, too? Or is poverty and violence only interesting to her when it's exotic?

This

I've lived in a few places that are on danger lists (like Syria) and people like your friend used to give me the rage.

TwinklTwinkl Sat 28-May-16 09:58:46

I presume shrme does have ONS. I don't know for sure.

She is very vocal about UK poverty, but I disagree with many of her ideal solutions (e.g. those Scandi baby boxes is her latest).

randomer Sat 28-May-16 09:59:28

has she got kids? if no then its nobody's business.

alltouchedout Sat 28-May-16 10:03:45

She's a tourist. What does she think the people she meets on her edgy and daring little excursions into their lives see her as? Apart from a knob of course.

SuperFlyHigh Sat 28-May-16 10:03:55

randomer but if anything happened to her she's being a bit daft to tell everyone and make them worry, in that case why doesn't she just do it and not tell anyone, save them the worry?!

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