To be fucked off with dh about dd's ballet show?

[CatThiefkeith]

Warning... Long rant coming!

Dd is 4, almost 5, and goes to a 30 minute ballet class on a Saturday morning. Dh takes her, because I work Saturdays - I literally have nothing to do with it.

Months ago dh mentioned that the whole dance academy (they do loads of different classes) were going to put on a show at the local theatre. Lovely.

2 weeks ago he gave me this Saturday's date and said I would need to book a ticket. It's at 7.30, he can't come because he has a gig. No problem.

Last Sunday I found the schedule. Dress rehearsal tomorrow at 5. (I finish at 5.30, as does he) she needs to be at the theatre in full make up. I've managed to find a mum whose child is also going who is willing to take dd. She is also going to pick her up from school instead of her going to after school club and do her make up. Brilliant. She will be home at 9.30. (She is usually in bed by 7)

Saturday she needs to be there for 5pm, and dh can drop her, I will pick her up, and again she will get home about 9.30pm, but the real killer is Sunday.

She is to be dropped at the theatre for 2pm, first show is at 3pm. Then she has to stay there and do another show at 7pm. She can take snacks, but nothing greasy, nothing hot, nothing with chocolate, no nuts, (fair enough) nothing that could mark her costume etc (including fruit) and no gadgets, eg iPad or DVD player.

I knew nothing at all about Sunday's shows, and the tickets are all sold out now, so nobody will be in the audience for her.

Aibu to think this is too much to ask of a 4yo. She's only in one bloody song (out of about 20). Each performance is 2 hours long, plus all the waiting around, and no parents allowed in the dressing room.

Would I be completely unreasonable to feign an illness on the Sunday and have a lovely day doing something else with her? I'm working most of half term as it is, I only have the bank holiday weekend with her and she's going to be shut in the green room for most of it.

So cross with dh for not looking into it properly. 😡

[summerainbow]

Ask if you pick after her song on Sunday as she will need her sleep for school .

[Gatehouse77]

Could you offer to help backstage? Then you would be there which is better than not at all, surely.

[Frrrrrrippery]

I'd cancel. It sounds like an awful lot of hassle. There is plenty of time for you'd DD to do things like this when she is older.

[CatThiefkeith]

No school next week so can't use that.

She's in the second half so would still need to be there from 2pm until at least 8pm on the Sunday.

What on earth am I supposed to feed her?

[errorofjudgement]

It might be worth double checking if your DC needs to stay for the whole show. The dance school DD goes to allows parents to collect the little ones straight after their dance, & they must be collected in the interval at the latest.

[errorofjudgement]

Sorry X-posted

[CatThiefkeith]

Not allowed to help backstage - the chaperones have all been on safeguarding courses and been dbs checked. I know this because the other mum that is picking her up is a chaperone.

[bostonkremekrazy]

meh - pull a sickie sunday.....she'll have fun saturday - she's 4! plenty of time for more shows :)

[Gizlotsmum]

I think that is pretty typical. They will have teachers and chaperones back stage who will help with the kids and entertain them.

[OooLookShoes]

Oh god, I've done these things.

They are hell on wheels.

2 fucking days stuck in the green room full of of tights, tutus and makeup, only to emerge once to see the bloody show. Which was sitting through approximately 10,000 dance acts and 1 2 minute slot where dd danced.

Never again! thank funk she declared dance 'boring' 6 months later and I was saved from having to do that again.

Feign illness

[Peppapogstillonaloop]

Totally pull a sickie. Any sensible dance show has the little ones on first and then let's them go home so they are not exhausted..Defo pull her out and have a nice day!

[MLGs]

When my DD was small (I think she was 3 but same principle at 4) and there was a similar show I only sent her to one of the two performances. Nobody minded. Make up a reason or say you think your particular DD is too young.

[CatThiefkeith]

boston that's what I said. dh was horrified because he will have to face them after the holidays

Thing is, she's not even very good, she's been showing me the routine and frankly she has all the grace of a baby elephant. Like her mother They are all taking it very seriously. I imagine they will be secretly relieved 😂

[CatThiefkeith]

X posted with lots of you there sorry!

[GardeningWithDynamite]

They've probably been rehearsing for weeks. Don't take her out of it unless you have to at this late stage. Mine did a show age 3 - only on 1 day but similar set up with the dress rehearsal the week before. She managed fine. They're used to dealing with little ones and they can have a nap if they need to.

Send her with a dressing gown to put over her costume. Nothing greasy means no chocolate and probably no crisps. Sandwiches should be fine, carrot sticks, cereal bars? Dunno - what does she like?

[NewLife4Me]

This is normal cat well, from the school dd went to and others I've heard of.
The food is obviously restricted due to them being in make up.
I did sandwich, water, dry type of biscuits, nuts and raisins, etc.

I'm surprised there haven't been parents meetings though, we used to have to go to so many, I remember it well.

I doubt they'll be allowed to leave early if they are placed in the finale.
I know that each child was part of the choreography in dds old school so it was out of the question.

We had to stay with her during the rehearsals and they were called to the stage when required, there wasn't anyone to supervise them as the chaperones were sorting out the ones back stage.

Op, do you have lots of paperwork that dh has not given you?
It sounds really lax communication.

[CatThiefkeith]

There is quite possibly paperwork I haven't seen. Most likely in dh's van.

[WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeG0es]

It can really mess up the routine if anyone drops out, the teachers and dancers put in so much effort preparing for the shows, so it is pretty unreasonable to pull out just because your DH didn't communicate with you (the school have communicated adequately with him by the sounds of it).

This sounds like a very standard set-up. They have almost certainly chosen the weekend as it's a bank holiday with most people off work the next day. She can take sandwiches, fruit, veg sticks etc. YABVU if you pull her out and spoil it for the rest of them. But YANBU to be fucked off with your DH.

[CatThiefkeith]

No parents meetings, have checked with the other mum. We have to drop her at the stage door and leave.

I'm not sure how she will be on her own for 7 hours without an adult she knows, especially dead tired. Other mum isn't allowed to chaperone dd's group as her own child is in it.

[NannawifeofBaldr]

Our dance school also let the wee ones go home after their dance so it's worth asking.

For food I usual send:

Sandwiches/rolls/wraps with turkey
Grapes
An apple
A bag of those yoghurt fruit flake thingies
Shortbread
A small bag of haribo/dolly mixtures.
Water.

[19lottie82]

Good luck....... It only gets worse! My DSD is 12 and her dance classes are the bane of our life's!

[CatThiefkeith]

Sandwiches will surely be greasy after being kept in the green room all afternoon? And nuts / cereal bars are on the banned list.

[CatThiefkeith]

Says on the paperwork that only baby ballet can leave early. Dd is the class above.

[ChablisTyrant]

I've done this, including failing to buy tickets. I hung back to watch dress rehearsal from front and no one seemed to care. DD couldn't tell I wasn't actually in audience on night so let her believe you are there.

And definitely pull a sickie for the Sunday. They are crazy to ask young children to do that.

[gabsdot]

My DD was in her ballet schools show last year . Matinee and evening show. I just said she wouldn't be able to be in the evening performance. No problem. I'd say you have other plans on Sunday.