To think charging a child to go to a party is a bit odd?

(201 Posts)
PotholesinMyLawn Wed 25-May-16 23:45:16

My DC has been invited to a party. It's an activity thing for a birthday a 12th.

The party is just over an hour aways drive and on the invite it says to hand in the contribution £17 in two weeks time.

Let me know if I'm weird here but I pay for my kids party based on what I can afford- I don't and haven't ever asked for a donation towards it.

Am I odd to think it's cheeky.

Unfortunately DC really wants to go.

The father has text me also when I enquired to say that if she doesn't have the numbers on the day they will reschedule the day (so we will have driven all the way there and it may not go ahead????)

stiffstink Wed 25-May-16 23:47:23

Blimey! That journey would cost me about £25 in fuel too!

inlectorecumbit Wed 25-May-16 23:48:05

Really odd.
Are you also expected to drive your DC to the party.
Either way l would decline

ollieplimsoles Wed 25-May-16 23:49:23

I'm really not sure on this as my DD is a bit young for the party dramas, someone else will be song soon who can tell you more. Having said that op I find the second part really strange, why would they not have the numbers? Is it an adventure theme package thing like paintballing or something?

PotholesinMyLawn Wed 25-May-16 23:51:04

Yep
I've been given the post code
I'm W seeing if I should invent a double book and do something with DC instead.

I think it's mad. The dad has invited the whole class. And said he has paid for 32

So I wonder if he's actually profiting ?

WhereYouLeftIt Wed 25-May-16 23:59:19

Honestly, I don't think my DC wanting to go would swing it for me. I'd feel a bit offended at being asked to hand in a contribution, and an hour's drive is a bit much. (Disclaimer: I have driven further, but that was for a close friend of DC whose mum was also a friend, and so I offered to drive half the invitees there while she drove the other half. No £17 contribution was expected.)

Frrrrrrippery Wed 25-May-16 23:59:49

I think I'd tell DS he can't go. It's too vague and badly organised and if he is charging them it might end up with very few guests. It's too much of a risk.
Tell DS you will arrange something with birthday boy another time.

inlectorecumbit Thu 26-May-16 00:04:58

What if Some of the invited 32 don't turn up? Will the £17 contribution be increased??

Mummyme1987 Thu 26-May-16 00:20:42

Surely you don't pay as a guest at a party? Wtf is this bloke on?

MadamDeathstare Thu 26-May-16 00:39:33

Definitely contact the parent and tell them that you need to know the day before you leave whether the party is going ahead or not. A two hour round trip for no good reason is ludicrous.

My general understanding is, if you are hosting a party for a personal celebration like your own (or your child's) birthday or wedding then the guests should not have to pay anything.

If you are acting as an organizer for a birthday party e.g. 'Let's take Karen to Nando's on Saturday and we'll chip in to cover the cost of her lunch', then that would be OK. Then the group is the 'host'.

fatmomma99 Thu 26-May-16 00:41:18

I've never charged anyone for one of my DD's parties, but would consider it if I was doing something massive (but I'm talking needing a passport!). There has been a birthday party in a destination shopping centre, and the kids did bring money for things they wanted to buy (at shops we don't have at home), but lunch and travel to destination was provided.

BlueFolly Thu 26-May-16 00:42:20

Ask him if he's on glue.

TendonQueen Thu 26-May-16 00:45:15

No, that's all mad.

VioletBam Thu 26-May-16 00:53:30

My DD is 11 and this year has been invited to umpteen parties which involve shopping and a sleepover.

I have to give money for the shopping because they never offer a voucher or anything.

Drives me MAD.

I understand people think "Oh they love shopping" and yes, they do...but I resent shelling out for my DD to go shopping for YOUR child's birthday!

WHen DD turned 11, I took her mates shopping and gave each child a gift voucher!

YANBU OP don't do it. For me, him saying it will be cancelled if the numbers aren't right....that does it.

Kiwiinkits Thu 26-May-16 01:25:25

Get your 12 year old to 'earn' the money to go by getting her to do chores. Win win. You could get a lot of windows cleaned, the house dusted and the lawns mown for 17 quid, easy.

Just5minswithDacre Thu 26-May-16 01:26:37

Cheeky blighter shock

I'd say no. What if it catches on?

Lilacpink40 Thu 26-May-16 01:29:26

Double booking yourself sounds like the easiest all round option. Also talk with othrr parents, they must have same concerns?

Just5minswithDacre Thu 26-May-16 01:29:48

£17 plus same in petrol x 29 classmates x 2 offspring is the best part of £2000 per year for the average family!!!

Iknownuffink Thu 26-May-16 01:38:35

£17 plus gift=thanks but no thanks. Decline the invitation.

VimFuego101 Thu 26-May-16 01:58:39

Well now you've posted on here, you have to accept so you can report back to Mumsnet on how it goes!

Liiinooo Thu 26-May-16 02:21:07

No child is too young to hear 'it sounds lovely, but we/Mum/Dad can't afford it' and a 12yo is more than old enough to understand that different budgets and incomes can buy different things.
Explain to DS that it is too much money. Tell him you are sorry he has to miss out and maybe plan a more affordable treat. He might be upset, he might even kick off but it is important that he learns that we can't always afford the things we want and that disappointment is not fatal.

As for his mate's dad - what an a* - charging guests! That isn't cheeky, it is rude and grabby. And as for the possible cancellation with no regard for any inconvenience to other parents or disappointment for his own son and his son's friends - that is outrageous. There is a prime example of a man whose parents failed to teach him that he can't always get what he wants.

WiddlinDiddlin Thu 26-May-16 02:33:32

Charging a party guest is massively unreasonable!

Splitting the costs with close friends is one thing, discussing such splitting of costs with the relevant parents BEFORE revealing party plans to children (so that if its not possible, they never knew it was an option in the first place) entirely another.

To add in that this expensive shindig might be cancelled at the last minute is outrageous, these people are jizpenguins, what a shame you have other plans that day and can't go..

MrsDrSpencerReid Thu 26-May-16 04:16:25

My DD was invited to a party where we had to pay.

She'd just started kindergarten (we're in Australia, so it was a 5th birthday) and it was about 2 weeks into the school year.

It was a 10 pin bowling party. The mum had to purchase a party package and I guess she divided the cost up between the number of guests.

I remember talking with a few of the other mums about how it was a bit cheeky, but I guess I can see the party mums thinking, it being 2 weeks into 'big school' so she didn't know any of the kids or their parents yet and wanted to make sure she wasn't shelling out the cost of a party for no one to show up.

We did end up going, we had to pay when we arrived. It was about a half hour drive away so all the parents had to stay. I think most people spent a little bit less than they normally would on the gift.

Not something I would do personally, I always organise something to suit our budget and we've had some awesome parties smile

wannabestressfree Thu 26-May-16 04:20:04

I am wondering if it's paint balling and the £17 is for the extra 'bullets'?

avamiah Thu 26-May-16 04:32:59

What?
Forget that.
I've never heard anything like it.

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