Baby crying aggressive neighbours

[didntexpecthis]

I live in a block of flats. Next door neighbours are a family with 3 children, ages ranging between 6 and 16.

I have a 4 month old who until recently was a very placid baby. Relatively little crying (compared to older sibling at the same age), slept through the night etc.
Recently though the crying has increased. Especially first thing in the morning (6am) when he wakes and intermittently during the day.

NDN's 16 year old has been yelling FFS in the morning when DS starts crying and today, I had a knock on the door from NDN. He was very aggresive and told me that if I didn't shut the baby up to expect a call from SS.

I was really shaken up and am scared although DP says to just ignore it.

AIBU?

[didntexpecthis]

Sorry that wasn't clear, I meant AIBU to be scared.

[Adelecarberry87]

Have you got a communal security officer you can report the incident to? You have a baby they cry it's what they do. I would have a word with the parent about their dcs attitude.

[Pinkheart5915]

How rude! You'd thinking having children themselves they must remember the tiny baby days, babies cry it's just what they do.

Is the baby's cot against the wall nearest to them maybe? If so could it be moved to the other side of the room?

[NeedACleverNN]

Tell him to call social services and see where it gets him?

Not really...

Ignore him. If he carries on you could possibly call 101 and report for harassment. It's not nice hearing babies cry but it's what they do

[MakeItRain]

Yes just ignore it. If they knock again tell them there's nothing wrong with your ds but they can call ss if they want to. (They won't.) Record the aggressive swearing through the walls if you can. If ss do ever come i'm sure a social worker would be concerned for you putting up with that.

[Unpropergrammer]

babies cry. Not much you can do about it sounds like ndn is unreasonable.

I'm a sw and trust me nobody is going to bother with a report that the next door neighbours four month old baby is crying.

[didntexpecthis]

No, unfortunately not. It's just four flats, 2 privately owned, the other two HA. It was actually the father who confronted me, not the teenager. Sorry, should have made that clear.

[goodbyestranger]

Perhaps the 16 year old is in the middle of GCSEs in which case it might be kind to shift the baby's cot for the duration.

[Adelecarberry87]

That's disgusting that the father came to the door I would of sent my DH and informed them they come at the door threatened to ring SS i'l have them reported for threatening behaviour. Babies cry mine sometimes does, doesn't mean you neglect them.

[imwithspud]

How awful and rude of them, I think I'd be feeling pretty shaken up too. But I agree with your DP, just ignore it. Provided you're tending to baby as best you can there's not much more you can do. Sometimes baby's cry no matter what you do.

[didntexpecthis]

I'm just so tired and barely keeping it together. I do understand that it must be annoying to be woken up by a crying baby but I just don't know what to do about it. It really upset me to be confronted by such anger especially as they live next door. But maybe I'm overreacting.

[didntexpecthis]

good It really doesn't go in for a long time. I do immediately get up and pick ds up to try and quieten him but he doesn't always settle immediately.

[goodbyestranger]

I would go round and ask about the 16 year old's situation and then I'd let them know that you're moving the baby to your room and intervening at 6am as soon as you hear the baby wanting you/ milk. It's your baby after all and there's no reason why they should suffer especially if they have something important of their own going on, such as exams. The dad obviously handled it badly but there's probably a bit more to his anger than meets the eye.

[imwithspud]

You're not overreacting at all didnt. They could have been much less aggressive in the way they confronted you. I'm not sure what they were expecting to achieve in being so rude to you, it's not like you can just switch a baby off to stop it crying. However they can always invest in ear plugs if the noise disturbs them that much.

Your NDN's behaviour says more about them than it does you, please don't beat yourself up about it.

[didntexpecthis]

I'm almost sobbing at the kind posts
Thank you.

The baby's cot is in our bedroom (two bedroom flat, dd has the other tiny room) so we can't really move it.

It's not that ds wants a feed when he wakes and cries, more that he wakes and cries for attention.

[WeeWaspie]

Glad I'm not the only one with a baby that hit 4 months and morphed into something from the excorsist.

I'd be feeling exactly the same as you. Unfortunately babies will cry. Maybe your NDN was having a bad day and the baby was the last straw - doesn't mean he should be so aggressive though.

I echo unpropergrammer, I'm a SW and if i had to follow up on every crying baby I'd be virtually going door to door including my own

[VioletBam]

Having lived in a block like yours...also H.A. and had awful neighbours, my advice is to make them think you think theyr'e being reasonable and be polite....let them know you will do what you can.

People often feel helpless with noise and babies crying can be upsetting especially if the boy has exams.

If they are agressive again, report them to H.A. I had to and we had someone come to mediate.

Things got better then.

[Imaginosity]

I would feel very threatened and upset by this. Your DP seems very calm in his reaction - is he afraid of the neighbours?

What sort of people are the neighbours? They sound a bit scary.

[imwithspud]

We've already established that op is not leaving the baby to cry.

[MistressDeeCee]

They're aggressive bullies. The stupid 16 year old and his yelling is likely more noisy than your baby. I don't like noise but a crying baby wouldn't drive me nuts - babies cry. What do they want you to do, tape up your baby's mouth? Id phone 101 for advice. The cheek of them to mention social services to you. You'll be on tenterhooks every time your baby cries, waiting for the shouting through the wall and dreading a knock on the door. People who can't stand normal domestic noise need to get over themselves and realise they don't live in a detached home, and that you can't always stop a baby from crying immediately.