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AIBU?

To wait to tell my work I'm pregnant?

24 replies

PinkyOfPie · 24/05/2016 19:11

I started a new job 2 months ago, and I'm now 6 weeks pregnant.

I feel like I've done well in the job, I've had great feedback and managed the department after being there a week as my manager went on holiday for 3 weeks. I want to make a good impression and I'm really enjoying it. I got a shock when I found out I was pregnant and I'm now worried about how bad it looks to start a job and get pregnant after 2 weeks!

WIBU to wait as late as possible to tell them? I want to prove first that I can do my job well and that I was worth hiring. I don't have to tell them until I'm 25 weeks. Although, I may blow my own cover before then, this is my second pregnancy and I'm already getting a wee bump 😭😭 or is it plain unfair on them as it means they have hardly any time to recruit for my maternity leave?

OP posts:
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Beth2511 · 24/05/2016 19:14

I would tell them before it gets too obvious to hide.

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MyKingdomForBrie · 24/05/2016 19:14

I'd wait til at least 12 weeks, but yes you aren't obliged to tell them for much longer.

Problem is they will probably notice and may feel negatively about you holding out on the information for so long?

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NapQueen · 24/05/2016 19:14

Not unfair. 25 weeks is set so that there is still time to find a replacement. You are not obligated.

You may well find that you end up spilling the beans to someone but meet that bridge when you get to it.

Set your 12 week scan as a minimum date and reassess whether you want to tell after that.

I am a manager and I would never be anything other than happy to hear even at 25 weeks that one of my team were expecting

Congratulations!

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BillSykesDog · 24/05/2016 19:15

I got pregnant about 1.5 weeks before starting a new job. Waited until 19 weeks to tell them just to let me find my feet and make an impression first.

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DrWhy · 24/05/2016 19:16

I found out I was pregnant the day after I started my new job! Fortunately it's with the same organisation so I will get my maternity benefits. I was planning to wait to tell them but due to a family bereavement and very emotional conversation with sympathic line manager it came out to him at 12 weeks. I told the rest of the team at 16 weeks. At 25 weeks now I'd have serious trouble hiding it and this is my first!
I totally understand wanting to prove yourself first but I think it's better to tell them than have them start to suspect. You can continue to prove yourself and everyone will hopefully be even more impressed at how well you are coping despite being pregnant!

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Welshmaenad · 24/05/2016 19:16

It would be more than reasonable to wait till after the 12 week scan at least.

I was in this position, and still in a probationary period. I told my boss the day I found out as health conditions meant if need time off for appointments early on. He appreciated my honesty and I was made permanent following probation. However he was very laid back and supportive, in a different work environment I'd have possibly been more cautious.

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NameChange30 · 24/05/2016 19:17

How long is your probation period?

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puglife15 · 24/05/2016 19:22

YANBU although morning sickness may kick in soon and make it hard for you to make such a good impression!

I worked in my job for 8 years when I got preg and waited until 14 weeks to tell anyone.

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44PumpLane · 24/05/2016 19:22

I was just about to say "how long is your probationary period"?
I'd be tempted to wait until this point has passed if you can manage at all.

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PinkyOfPie · 24/05/2016 19:43

Have passed 2 month probationary period luckily.

pug I've been sick every day at work for the last 2 weeks. It hasn't been easy to hide but I sneak mouthwash in my handbag!

OP posts:
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NameChange30 · 24/05/2016 20:00

Since you've passed your probation I think you could tell them when you want, although personally I'd wait until after the 12 week scan. I'd wait longer actually if I wasn't showing!

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AlbusPercival · 24/05/2016 20:04

My job has amazing maternity benefits, I've been there years, they are very supportive.

I'm 18 weeks and only just told my boss, no one else yet

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WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeG0es · 24/05/2016 20:07

Are you sure you don't have to tell sooner? Everywhere I've worked you've had to tell as soon as you know yourself so a risk assessment can be carried out.

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AHellOfABird · 24/05/2016 20:08

Waiting until 12 week scan at least is typical. Wait as long as you like within the limit though you may be better protected once you've djsclised than if they guess.

Congrats

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AHellOfABird · 24/05/2016 20:09

Who, although risk assessment is a requirement, in many jobs it involves someone checking if your office chair is ok. Different if chemicals, xrays or animals are involved.

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PinkyOfPie · 24/05/2016 20:09

Who I think legally no employer has to know before 25 weeks. Unless there is a particular risk that more than say, an office job, carries?

OP posts:
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WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeG0es · 24/05/2016 20:24

Some of us do work with chemicals, but the rule applies to office workers just as much as others. Manual handling, workstation positioning etc. It just seems like common sense to me.

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AHellOfABird · 24/05/2016 20:32

It's the OP's (minimal) risk on that stuff, though, and I'm sure she's happy to take it.

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Alicekeach · 24/05/2016 20:37

I planned to wait, but had to tell my boss at 8 weeks as the morning sickness just became too difficult to hide.

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Pearlman · 24/05/2016 21:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CostaAddict · 24/05/2016 21:05

Congrats on your pregnancy!

I found out I was pregnant 3 days into my new post. Thankfully it's within the same organisation so am entitled to full maternity benefits. I had planned on not telling them until I was 12 weeks but ended up with hyperemesis plus other complications so told my manager a week later. She was so supportive and said it was better knowing for risk assessment etc.

It lifted a huge weight off my shoulders once I'd told them. Once my manager knew, we had a quiet word with my team (only 6 of us) and it was kept quiet until I was publicly announcing it.

Good luck Flowers

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Vickyyyy · 24/05/2016 21:26

Are you on a trial period or anything? if so, I would hold off til the end of that so you are judged on your ability and not tossed away for being pregnant. legally they aren't allowed to say that but they will find some stupid reason.

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RubbleBubble00 · 25/05/2016 08:31

I was huge by 10 weeks, not a chance of hiding it wit no2 Most Co workers guessed at 8 wks

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CurvyBlonde · 25/05/2016 08:40

I've 4 weeks into a new job and 10 weeks pregnant, I told my new boss yesterday because I didn't want to lie to him, and he's been incredibly supportive. You also need to think how you'll manage time off for appointments. Work aren't the enemy and it sounds like you've made a great impression already Star they'll probably appreciate your honesty xx

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