Dp has a DD who is in long-term foster care.
Long story short:
Had DD when he was 16, with his ex, call her A
Relationship broke down after a yea, contact between C and DP going fine until A gets new boyfriend. Stops contact. Has 2 more children with new partner
DP applies for contact etc through court, this takes about 2 years, constant delays and fact finding thingies etc.
Meanwhile C and other 2 get taken into care. neglect and abuse. Have read the paperwork and it's really fucked up. this woman is borderline evil.
Lots more court stuff as children are now in care, DP gets told C can live with him, but limited no contact with A, other 2 placed for adoption.
C didn't ever end up living with DP on recommendation of SS, basically, C didn't remember DP and had only heard lies about him from A. A referred to him as "bad daddy" and lied A LOT.
Contact between C and A reduced as A kept telling C that if she speaks to dp, she will never be able to see or live with A again.
Dp was having contact with C, but this was always veryo bviously stressful for C. DP agreed to C being placed for adoption after a year of contact getting nowhere nd only distressing C- Basicaly she could never live with A and didn't want to live with DP after what A had said about him. Adoption seemed the only way she would have a stable life not in constant foster placements etc. The main reason DP agreed to this is that it would mean that A would no lognger have contact with C.
Fast foward to now, C hasn't been adopted due to a lot of issues she has. A still has contact, DP doesn't. A is in long ter mfoster care and happy with where she lives, dp gets updates etc.
DP gets a letter the other month saying that as the adoption order is no longer in place, instead it's long term foster care, A is now appealing or something and wants A to live with her. SS tell DP that this is pretty certainly never going to happen, they can;t stop her going to court but there is no way A will live with her and they actually want to mae contact even less.
Now, every time i think or hear of this woman i get so angry. that poor girl, her poor silbings, this woman barely even gives a shit.
DP was told basically that no he can't have contact, he doesn't want to take it to court or force C to do anything she doesn't want to but he feels SS could have done a lot more to encourage C and his relationship in the first place after the courts agreed that C could live with him. They didn't even inform him when they took the children into care in the first place, he found out because of the other court stuff but they didn't contact him at all before they were taken into care.
this whole situation sometimes really gets to me, and it doesn't even have anything to do with me, other than that C is DS's silbing and one day we're going to have to explain all this to him.
She's had ANOTHER dc too. The woman is a twat.
I don't know what to say or do to help DP, other than atleast she has had the same foster family for 5 years and they seem really nice, but i just don't know what i would do if DS was off living with another family and i couldn't see him
AIBU?
To be really angry about this even though it doesn't effect me
Abbinob · 24/05/2016 15:24
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