Friend trying to buy my childs toy

(59 Posts)
AnnoyinglyFriendlyFriend Mon 23-May-16 23:19:41

I've name changed for this as information is quite identifying:

There's a woman I know from school (not even really that as she wasn't in any of my classes) who has a 4 month old baby girl, my DD is a year old. We'll call her Linda. Linda has the same birthday as me so I think that's why she "latched" onto me. I think she's lonely, her partner lives in the city the opposite direction to my her village (basically you go through my town to get to it), and sees her when he comes down to my town once a week - he's the father of her baby. She can't drive so has to get the twice daily bus or lifts to my town. I completely empathise with her, but she's getting a bit much - she's always messaging me on Facebook, asking to meet up and has twice asked me to babysit her daughter (when she was only a week old the first time) so that she could see her partner. We've met up several times both in her village (I can get lifts) and in my town but she can be annoying as it's obvious she's lonely. She's always commenting on everyone's (even if she's not friends with them - when a mutual friend comments) Facebook pictures and is always trying to find a way to get to see her partner more by asking people for lifts/bus money. I do really feel sorry for her situation.

Anyway, my best friend, we'll call Kerry, lives in the same village as Linda. I know Kerry through DH's work and we've all become really good friends, including Kerry's husband. Apart from living in the same village and having me as a friend on facebook Kerry and Linda do not really know each other.

Kerry has recently been away on holiday and she bought back a personalised teddy of the countries national animal - it has my DDs initials and birthdate on. It's lovely and must have cost a fortune. Kerry also bought back a smaller non personalised version, for my DD to "play" with. Of course my DD loves the small teddy toy and it's currently her favourite alongside her cat toy which she's had since birth.

Before giving them to my DD, Kerry posted a photo on Facebook asking if they would be ok for her, she tagged me, DH and my MIL (Kerry's mum works with my MIL - it's that kinda town.) Of course Linda saw the tags and asked Kerry to buy one for her own DD saying she'd pay for it. Kerry refused to buy for Linda as she didn't know her well, and also it was the last day of her holiday and she didn't want to be rushing around buying things for other people when she should of been enjoying herself.

Linda is now messaging me every few hours asking if she can have the smaller toy as apparently my DD doesn't need both. She's offering me money and trying to arrange to meet me so she can see if her DD likes it.

I've said no, defriended and blocked her on Facebook. She's now messaging my husband and MIL (she's never even met my MIL!) to try and get them to persuade me to make DD part with her toy. She's also messaging Kerry asking when she's going again so she can get Linda's DD one.

How the hell can I get her to go away and leave me alone?

rollonthesummer Mon 23-May-16 23:22:22

How bizarre! Tell them all to block her,

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Mon 23-May-16 23:22:30

Ignore,ignore,ignore and when that doesn't work ignore some more . Do not engage at ALL.

whatnoww Mon 23-May-16 23:25:35

She sounds very strange. I'd message her with a definate no and point out how unreasnable she is being.

SaucyJack Mon 23-May-16 23:29:39

Is she well in herself ?

she's not well at all. stay well clear, if I were you xxx

fatmomma99 Mon 23-May-16 23:31:41

Your problem lies in the fact that you seem to live in a small area where people know other people. This isn't an issue that would raise it's head in a bigger city.

As I live in a bigger city, I have absolutely no advice, and honestly don't know what to say, other than in sounds incredibly intrusive and generally yuk.

Good luck!

Alisvolatpropiis Mon 23-May-16 23:31:50

Erm, I'd say she's not well, that's very odd behaviour.

GiddyOnZackHunt Mon 23-May-16 23:39:00

Er, no, yanbu. It sounds like very strange behaviour!

WalkingBlind Mon 23-May-16 23:40:50

Honestly? This might be an overreaction but depending on what kind of "unstable" she seems tell her you will either contact the police for harassment or medical professionals with welfare concerns (for her not her kids). I have to deal with clingy, lonely mums in a small town and none would go this far. She seems like ignoring her will actually make it worse

kerryob Mon 23-May-16 23:42:39

That's def not normal

PixieMiss Mon 23-May-16 23:42:42

How strange. I would be wary of her stealing it somehow if I am honest!

WellErrr Mon 23-May-16 23:43:18

I feel quite sorry for her sad

rollonthesummer Mon 23-May-16 23:44:20

Have you actually replied saying 'no- it was a gift, I won't be selling it' to the messages she's sending you every few hours?

AnnoyinglyFriendlyFriend Mon 23-May-16 23:44:44

My DH suggested the same WalkingBlind, she's cooled off a bit now, and although the messages weren't threatening they were pretty strange.

I do think she's got some form of PND, and I know that she doesn't have much to do with Health Visitors or Doctors, so I might also ring my Health Visitor tomorrow and see if her/her colleagues know how she's behaving.

AnnoyinglyFriendlyFriend Mon 23-May-16 23:45:50

rollonthesummer yes, I said that my friend had bought the toy as a gift for my child, and Kerry has told Linda the same thing she bought it for my DD.

FerkTheeesSheet Mon 23-May-16 23:52:16

How very odd!
I agree with pixie, I'm thinking that she may try to steal it! I don't believe it's beyond the realms of possibility!

Cagliostro Mon 23-May-16 23:58:00

I feel sorry for her too sad but not your responsibility. I would gently ignore I think sad

AnnoyinglyFriendlyFriend Mon 23-May-16 23:58:31

Will have to hide toy when/if she comes over then, put it somewhere she or her DD can't find.

GiddyOnZackHunt Tue 24-May-16 00:03:19

shock Don't have her over to your house!

hippiedays Tue 24-May-16 00:06:15

Will have to hide toy when/if she comes over then, put it somewhere she or her DD can't find.

I may be overreacting but frankly I would not invite this woman to your house anymore nor would I see her on a one to one basis. She has overstepped the mark completely and I would be severing ties with her. The fact that you have defriended her on Facebook surely tells you she is not a friend.

ample Tue 24-May-16 00:08:40

YANBU.
A gift is a gift and you have said No. You shouldn't need to say it twice. Okay so she may have thought you would have a change of heart after a second attempt at persuading but messaging people she doesn't know? For a teddy? She's taken quite a few steps too far.
I think she needs help and I'm not sure ignoring her will work the way you want it to.
I'd say this was harassment, or borderline (I'm not sure of the why and hows).
I'm not being helpful, sorry confused

WorraLiberty Tue 24-May-16 00:11:41

Sounds like strange behaviour.

But why doesn't she just order one online?

ample Tue 24-May-16 00:11:55

And what hippiedays said.
Don't invite her into your home. She's no longer a friend.

MoggieMaeEverso Tue 24-May-16 00:14:05

Why would she be coming over??

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