Odd incident with colleague

(192 Posts)
RainIsAGoodThing Sat 21-May-16 20:12:49

Last night a colleague gave me a lift home from a talk we both had to attend (I KNOW, on a FRIDAY night).

I've worked with this man for about 2 years now, and we've always got on well professionally. He's about 20 years older than me, married and has a child of about 1.

He often offers me lifts home from work things after hours, because we live reasonably close and I think he has fatherly concerns about young women wandering the streets after dark, etc. Fine. Sometimes I accept, sometimes I don't. Yesterday I did as it was raining grin

I've had a mild cold for about a week. He definitely knows this as I may have, ahem, mentioned it moaned non stop for the whole week. I didn't take any time off though as its mild and I can't be taking time off for every sniffle. I know some people think you should stay off in order to not spread germs around, but I'd probably face a disciplinary if I took time off every time I was under the weather.

Anyway. So we're driving along, and suddenly I sneeze. Not a disgusting snotty one but a reasonably normal, averagely loud sneeze.

He turns to me deadly serious and says: 'if you give me an illness that spreads to my child, I will fucking knock your teeth down your throat'.

That was that - we weren't far from my house so we said goodbye perfectly normally and off I went. But I've been thinking about it today and AIBU to think that's a really bloody odd thing to say to a colleague you've offered a lift to?!?

UterusUterusGhali Sat 21-May-16 20:14:35

Urgh.
He wasn't joking?
That's pretty chilling if not.

DaisyAdair Sat 21-May-16 20:15:45

shock That is very odd and I wouldn't be accepting lifts home from him again!

katemiddletonsnudeheels Sat 21-May-16 20:15:48

Gosh how horrible shock

RainIsAGoodThing Sat 21-May-16 20:16:05

I don't know what to think. He said it deadly seriously. I looked at him when he said it and kind of waited for a sign it was a joke, but nothing!

ZorbaTheHoarder Sat 21-May-16 20:16:34

What he said was extremely aggressive and disproportionate and I think that you should have as little as possible to do with him from now on.

Seriously, who speaks to a colleague (or anyone else) like that?

yorkshapudding Sat 21-May-16 20:17:27

I would be making sure I wasn't alone with him again, either in a car or anywhere else.

Shakey15000 Sat 21-May-16 20:17:56

Fucking hell. I'd not be going anywhere near him now never mind being on my own with him.

Miloarmadillo1 Sat 21-May-16 20:18:36

Odd and aggressive. Any extenuating circumstances? My daughter had medication that made her v immunosuppressed, a cold could have landed her in ICU v easily and I was a bit nuts over keeping her germ free, but I managed not to threaten anyone

Groovee Sat 21-May-16 20:18:49

I would be keeping my distance.

ScarlettDarling Sat 21-May-16 20:19:45

Wow. Utterly bizarre comment. I'd feel really uncomfortable with him after that tbh and I'd not be accepting any more lifts, no matter how heavy the rain.

FutureGadgetsLab Sat 21-May-16 20:19:51

I'd stay away from the asshole.

BeautifulMaudOHara Sat 21-May-16 20:20:06

Weirdo alert, definitely

gaggiagirl Sat 21-May-16 20:20:42

Never. Ever. Be alone with him again. Very aggressive and completely unreasonable reaction from him there

camtt Sat 21-May-16 20:21:29

strange - he knew you had a cold so if he's that bothered why offer a lift? Maybe more likely that he did intend it as a joke but didn't quite pitch it right.

Believeitornot Sat 21-May-16 20:22:01

I was expecting you to say he'd made a move on you!

Bloody hell. What a strange man. Avoid.

LittleNelle Sat 21-May-16 20:22:09

I'd put in a complaint at work.

RainIsAGoodThing Sat 21-May-16 20:22:50

I don't think there are any extenuating circumstances. He certainly hasn't mentioned any, although of course he shouldn't have to. But why invite me into the car in that case?! I certainly didn't ask! It's quite a short walk and one I'm used to doing.

gamerchick Sat 21-May-16 20:24:05

No more lifts man. i think I would be having a word with my boss as well about attending things together.

Justmeagain78 Sat 21-May-16 20:24:11

That was very aggressive language, even for a joke. Please keep your distance from this man now.

topcat2014 Sat 21-May-16 20:25:13

Very wierd. We call each other things like 'typhoid mary' when we all start sneezing at work - but generally in good humour.

This seems way beyond normal to me.

MeLittleDuckie Sat 21-May-16 20:28:51

He was obviously way out of line, however I'm going to go against the grain and suggest he's not a weirdo, just a parent who's had it with the hell of babies with colds. After weeks and weeks of sleepless nights due to me and DS both having seemingly never-ending colds and coughs I can totally understand his over-sensitivity. That would have been exactly what I thought whenever someone sneezed near me right after we got over our snot-a-thon, but I wouldn't have gone so far as to say it. Maybe his snot-a-thon was worse than ours!

SavoyCabbage Sat 21-May-16 20:30:31

I would do absolutely everything to avoid him in the future.

RoboticSealpup Sat 21-May-16 20:33:31

But, Duckie, he didn't have to offer her a lift.

PinkParsnips Sat 21-May-16 20:34:18

What the hell?!

Avoid him like the plague in future op.
No excuse for that whatsoever.

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