Apologies, may be long!
I fell pregnant at 19, when my then boyfriend and I were both part way through degrees at different universities. Very foolish, I know. We agreed make a go of being parents, relationship fizzled out.
Fast forward to the birth, he couldn't be reached. He had begun to be extremely vague and unreliable in the build up, but still maintained he wanted involvement. My mum ended up having to leave a voicemail to tell him he was a father. I have never seen or heard from him since, apart from an email when DS was about three months old telling me he wanted no involvement and would never want to meet his son.
DS is now almost 8. I've had a difficult time with maintenance and the CSA; he under-declares income - part time job only, when he has further self-employed income from a job in local radio/newspapers. He switches this job regularly so that, despite being under a deduction of earnings order, the CSA never have his current employment details. It's almost a year since I've received a penny.
I'm tired of the whole situation. I'm fed up having to constantly chase the CSA (who are often less than helpful), I'm tired of feeling angry. I've tried to contact him directly a couple of times for DS sake but he never replies.
I want to cancel the claim. I feel like the resentment I feel towards him only grows because of the situation, and that I won't move on from the anger I feel for DS (and myself to an extent) until he is nothing but a distant memory. DP and most of my family feel I should pursue it until DS is 18. The think it's money he's owed and the money at least should be a reminder of the responsibilities he's ignoring. He's now married with another son but has moved away. I don't know what to do for the best...
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AIBU?
To "deprive" my DS of maintenance?
25 replies
Windsofwinter · 21/05/2016 12:17
OP posts:
Arfarfanarf ·
21/05/2016 13:09
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DixieNormas ·
21/05/2016 18:15
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DixieNormas ·
21/05/2016 18:18
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