Year Two girls!!! Rant needed!!!(59 Posts)
Absolutely fuming!!! Just had DD in tears because a group of girls are taking the mickey out of her. DD is very much an individual, she loves to be unique. Apparently her backpack is "sad" because she's not sporting a cast off tote handbag from her mom. She has purple glasses instead of black geek style glasses. She has a big Alsatian instead of a Pug and lastly, she goes to Brownies instead of Ballet. These are her crimes.
Poor thing in tears asking if she should change but says she doesn't want to because she loves her things. So proud of her in that respect, she is a strong person. But honestly, I can't believe how the peer pressure starts at age blooming 7 . Grrrr!!! Just needed a rant!
Whaaaat?!! I cant imagine my 7yo dd or any of her friends talking to one another like you've described. Not even my nearly 10yo ds either actually. Perhaps you've just struck unlucky with an unpleasant bunch of children (although its not their fault I'm sure) although it sounds more like bullying to me, in which case whatever your DD had/did/said they'd probably find a reason to single her out.
Has it been going on a while? And is it at school?
My DD is year 6 and hasn't witnessed any of that peer pressure behaviour during her time at primary. The girls all have pugs - really?!
I am dealing with similar as a head of year in secondary school. No amount of telling, explaining is stopping it. Parents have been in, children moved forms, detention, restorative justice etc. Social media has a lot to answer for.
Hop you daughter can get through this. Girls are bitchy. Boys fight and then are friends [more often than not]! x
It's happening in my DS1's form 2 class too. He has a particular talent, and two girls in the class have decided to tell him he is bad at it. Also, his mum (me) has a big belly and isn't lovely and slim like their mums (I've just had a baby and their mums are not models either)
As an adult it's obvious they are jealous and he is an easy target because they see he cares about what they say. Trying to get him not to react is hard.
He comes home so insecure, and couldn't eat his breakfast this morning because he knew he was doing something special at assembly this morning and they would single him out afterwards. like your DD he doesn't want to stop / change things and I love that.
Coco, our kids are obviously super cool and these mean ones can't handle it. Just got to teach them not to care, or at least act like it.
Girls that age can be awful ime. I had similar with dd at that age. My advice is not to bother with parents/school etc and just encourage your dd to assert herself and tell these girls they aren't very nice and she's going to speak to someone else. If your dd is a friendly girl there are a whole school full of children a lot nicer than the girls you describe for her to mix with. If they are actively following her/won't leave her alone tell her to speak to a teacher. They will probably change their tune when they realise that your dd isn't bothered and one of them is likely to be the next victim of the meanness from the others. If you do need to take it further then speak to the teacher. Ime parents refuse to believe that their little angels could be anything other than that and it just becomes awkward when your child decides to be bffs with theirs a year later!
Its sporadic tbh and I have reported it to class teacher as DD told me immediately on the playground at home time. But the fall out continues at home. My DD is DC2. DS would just have a scrap and it would be over, but wow the mind games are unbelievable already!
Year 2? They're 6 right? That's dreadful, awful, shitty behaviour and I wonder what values their parents are bringing them up with. Encourage your daughter to ignore them and carry on as she is. Individuality is far better.
Mums cast off tote bags for 7 years olds ??!!! Wtf ?! . I haven't heard of anything like that in my DC's school. My child would rather go to school with a plastic bag full of holes as a book bag than carry round one of my ex-bags. Ha.... I can't think of anything worse when I was at school than sporting something that my own mother used as a handbag and didn't want anymore ... talk about uncool. Weird, this is hard to believe !
It can start early. The girls in one of my DD's second grade class (so aged 6-7) were having votes on who the 'popular girls' were. These 'populars' then formed into a little clique and make nasty digs at the other girls, it is still continuing into middle school - as if in their minds being popular is equivalent to being a mean girl (thanks Disney and Nickelodeon).
When I was talking to the school counselor about another problem she happened to mention that particular grades were worse than others. So it sounds like your DD may have the misfortune to be in a particularly catty year group.
My DD is 5 and in reception and two of her so called "friends" have had a go at her because her new shoes are not exactly like everyone else's. The difference is ridiculously small but these girls spotted it and targeted DD. It's shocking that the meanness is already there (I witnessed the incident).
I spoke to DD and told her that she needs to spend time with people who are nice with her not people who are nasty. I'm pleased to say that she has made nicer, better friends... I am conscious that this is only the beginning... but I'm with you OP, they are so young and it's sad!
Girls can be horrible. U can see ones that are going to be 'trouble' from really early on, so your post doesn't surprise me. My DD is in yr7, she is more individual, doesn't follow the crowd, ie wear stupid amounts of makeup, bitching all day about people, have constant drama, or live her life out on social media. She likes knitting, karate, scouts, and also pop music, some social media, and going to Costa with friends. She has a balance, and we couldn't be more proud of her. She's had a horrible time at school lately trying to fit in with certain people. I have told her that she mustn't change and there are other girls like her, she just needs to find them. She's been much better in the last wk. It's so important to keep their confidence up and to let them know it's good to be yourself. I didn't think it would be so tricky having a DD, dont feel we can relax about her situation ever as very changeable. I think having a strong and loving homelife helps them to be confident. It's the biggest thing we can do.
Are they seriously being mean to her because her family has the wrong sort of dog? And doesn't wear "geek chic" glasses? Is this a school for the terminally precocious or something?
Some of our year 2 children still put their shoes on the wrong feet after PE!
She just needs to find her tribe - and she will. Hopefully the teacher will be able to steer her in the right direction (while giving a word of warning to the class about what bullying is and how to value everyone's differences).
Aren't they horrible. All that nastiness from and wickedness from what 6/7 year old babies.
Tell your DD not to dare change. Make sure she embraces and celebrates her individuality. Obviously if it's a one off put it down to them just being little madams. However if it goes on. It then becomes bullying, in which case you must go in and speak to her teacher.
She's only got about another ten years of it to go IME
Your Daughter will have the last laugh, she'll be an individual instead of a sheeple.
SuburbanRhonda I think a bit of it has to do with children's TV programming and movies. Quite a few US made programs based around schools feature pretty, popular, girls who are always coming out with witty digs and putdowns to everyone they talk to. I can't think of many programs where the pretty, popular girl is also sweet natured and academic. I can see how children watching a steady diet of such programs would want to take on the pretty, smart mouthed, mean girl stereotype rather than the down trodden nerd, or the awkward comic side kick.
I know there have always been children who like to put others down, but they do seem to be more into appearances/fashion/latest trends at a younger age nowadays.
I'm with Y2 children a lot and am also astonished.
What age is yr 2 ? I'm non UK. My daughter is seven and doesn't have uniform at school so wears what she chooses. She doesn't wrar anything out of the ordinary really but other girls keep calling her a 'model.' It doesn't sound much but they do it in a smiley way and pick at wear she wears. I think it's awful that it starts at such a young age. I told the girls off the other day as it's doing my head in and told them what people wear isn't important. It is sad that anything that strays slightly from the norm is picked on. My daughter said she wants to change her clothes so noone will comment.
Oh, just spotted she is7. Like mine. It's ridiculous. Poor girl. Where do you think it all comes from at7!?
She's in a class with knobheads. She certainly shouldn't change the poor thing.
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