About six weeks ago, my cousin contacted me telling me that his daughter was wanting to come to London in the summer (they’re Australian, his daughter is currently studying in Italy). He was asking did I know of any cheap accommodation/jobs that she could do? I could kind of guess where this was heading, but said I would ask among friends, and have a think about job opportunities. Sure enough, a few weeks later he asked would it be possible for her to stay with me when she first arrived while she sorted herself out. She’s meant to be due on the 21st. I’m not crazy about the idea of a barely-known 21-year-old staying in my house, but I said that would be absolutely fine for a little while (we have someone due to stay in June anyway), and she should get in touch with me. To be honest, I’m a little annoyed that this has all come through her dad - if she was sixteen I could understand it, but she’s 21 and living halfway round the world!
Eventually, last week I get an email from the girl herself (let’s call her Lucy). Lucy writes a nice email thanking me for the offer, how grateful she is, looking forward to seeing me, etc etc. Very nice, I think, and write her a kind email back telling her a bit about our area (in zone 6 so not exactly central!) and how we’d pick her up from the station if she lets me know when she’s arriving. Since then, I’ve heard nothing. I emailed her yesterday briefly asking her to confirm if she’s even coming on the 21st, and roughly what time. Still not heard anything. I’m getting rather pissed off now – I’m a bit uncomfortable about having an unknown relative to stay anyway as I like my own space, but the whole manner it’s been organised (i.e. through her dad rather than her) has not helped at all.
I told DH this morning that if I hadn’t heard from her by lunchtime I’d tell her it was all off. He thought that was really mean, saying she was just a kid, but she’s 21 and studying abroad!! If you want to stay with someone for free, I would have though telling them the basics, i.e. when you plan to arrive, was pretty standard! I’ve had to rearrange plans because I don’t know if/when to expect her. WIBU to say she’s had her chance, and if she can’t be bothered to get in touch with her plans she can’t be that interested in staying? (Disclaimer – I did meet her when she was 14 and found her a bit vapid and annoying – she’s fond of duck face poses on Instagram, and is very invested in her appearance (to be fair, she is stunning and has done some modelling). I think I am almost intimidated by the thought of having her stay, but I do feel like I’ve been treated a bit rudely.) Or am I just out of touch with the younger generation and expecting too much? I’m 37 and DH and I have no DC.
AIBU?
To withdraw an invitation to a houseguest?
GuinevereBeck · 20/05/2016 15:23
Btw I know early 20 somethings who are the sweetest most innocent and thoughtful people IRL but I'd conclude they were narcissistic high maintenance nightmares if I was solely going off the evidence of their online activity, it's just such a ubiquitous social code as to tell you nothing about individual character. Even I've been known to duck face Instagram pose and I'm 37 too 
You never know, she might be nice.
Contact your cousin and explain that you haven't heard from her and need to know ASAP if she's coming and when to expect her. Yes she's an adult and she should be wiping her own proverbial backside but it's stressing you out not knowing.
If/when she arrives I second what squeaver said - have a chat about rules, how long she can stay, if you need her out by x time in the morning, what you expect of her and how long she can stay. There seems to be a thing about Antipodeans darkening people's doors for months while in the UK, hence the pedantry 
.
OR your DH might be wrong and she might be a nightmare in which case you at least get to come back and tell us all the horror stories 
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I accept IBU, I'll not withdraw the offer (still not heard btw). Just wish I hadn't agreed in the first place, but then that's just me being spiky because I don't like guests unless I know them well. She'll have to get in touch with me soon though as she doesn't have my address or mobile number .
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