To think DP has a right to meet a man who is going to be around his young DD?

[MintCakeYum]

DP's ex has a new partner who is going to be staying the night regularly when their DD is home.

They were in bed together when DP dropped of his DD at her house last week.

DP would like to meet the man.

His ex doesn't have a great track record for straight and stable partners (DP excluded).

EX has lost her temper and screamed and shouted that it is none of his business and that she is capable of making her own judgements.

Who is being unreasonable?

[PaulAnkaTheDog]

I don't think it's any of his business really, it may feel to her like he is trying to dictate what she does. Presumably he trusts her to look after his daughter adequately, so that should be enough. Did he introduce her to you when you got serious?

[AndTakeYourPenguinWithYou]

He doesn't have any right to that, no. It's none of his business who his ex is seeing.

[deVelvet]

I think YABU I'm afraid.

When in mother's care dd could easily in contact with anyone imo. Friends, friends boyfriends, parents from school.

Why can't mum make judgement?
Did his ex demand to meet you?

If mum is ok to look after dd then it's OK for her to make her own judgements.

[snorepatrol]

YABU he has no right whatsoever
Did his ex get to critique you too when you started dating you dp?

[TheWeeBabySeamus1]

No, he has no right. They are not together, his ex is an adult and she doesn't need his permission to have a relationship.

[LineyReborn]

'(DP excluded)'

Be very careful.

[deVelvet]

I was going to pick up on that too Liney

[timelytess]

Sorry, that's ridiculous. And also worryingly controlling.
I had an ex husband. I didn't even think of vetting the women in his life.

[molyholy]

His ex doesn't have a great track record for straight and stable partners (DP excluded)

oh christ here we go. Ex p is a mad woman who isn't capable of a healthy realtionship. Oh but your now DP is excluded from this as he is wonderful and only left her cos let me guess..... she is batshit crazy.

its none of his business.

[MajesticSeaFlapFlap]

No right at all

[Chasingsquirrels]

Just echoing everyone else.
Either he trusts his ex with his DD in which case he had to trust her, or he doesn't in which case he should be at court getting residency.

[CupidsArrows]

As everyone else has said he has no right. It would be great if all parties were up for it but they aren't.

If it was me the i would like to meet them. I wouldn't expect it though.

How did your partner word it? There is a big difference between saying "it would be nice to meet at some point if that was OK with you" and either demanding or stating his "rights"

[Waltermittythesequel]

None of his business unless there is genuine reason to believe his dd is in danger.

Bit weird that every partner she's ever had has been bad news...except for your dp...

[Janefromuptheshops]

Settles down for ex wife bingo

ImStill waiting on:

She left him for another man
She doesn't work
Mad/hysterical/crazy
Has caused problems in the past
Spends CSA on drugs/alcohol/nails
Kids in rags and not looked after properly

[Janefromuptheshops]

Oh and no OP he has no right to meet him.

[gonetoseeamanaboutadog]

If I was in another relationship I'd introduce my DP to my DD's dad. I'd understand he'd want to meet him.

[OohMavis]

Nope, none of his business.

I'm assuming as soon as you two hooked up he marched you straight to her front door for a proper and formal introduction?

[WorraLiberty]

What's the actual point though?

I mean how much can your DP find out about this guy, just by meeting him?

And does he seriously think his ex is going to dump her new boyfriend if your DP doesn't like him?

[OohMavis]

I mean yes, wouldn't it be nice if life happened this way and we all respected eachothers' feelings and wishes and whatnot? But the reality is he has no God-given right.

[Kenduskeag]

If he has concerns he needs to raise them in all the appropriate manners. Is she a drug addict, tackle that. Are her partners drug addicts. Violent. Whatever. She was clearly nice and stable enough to have a child with once. If she really is THAT bad, you need to take a long hard look at why your partner once had a child with a 'crazy' woman. And why she broke her streak of 'unsuitable' men to suddenly date a pleasant one, before reverting back to form.

It's a bit classless to be 'in bed together' when your child is being dropped back at home. Call me old-fashioned, I'm more a 'meet them at the door and say 'hello'' sort.

I dunno. You date exes with kids and baggage, you're gonna get this kind of drama. I always think it never sounds remotely worth it. No partner can be worth all this warring with 'bad' exes.

[MintCakeYum]

She's had several boyfriends, none of whom DP has requested to meet as they haven't spent time with his DD. DP doesn't know anything about them apart from the fact she's met them all online.

He did however find rizlas and emptied out cigarettes in DD's changing bag the other month... Ex insists it was a friend who was smoking weed and not a partner.

Her ex before DP was a violent drug user, she was with him for quite a while which makes DP a bit unsure of her judgement.

She has a history of violence against DP and a charge of GBH. All verified. She has been much better since becoming a mother and is receiving counselling, support and medication.

DP just wants to know, or at least meet a man who is going to be spending time with his young DD, possibly unsupervised.

[VioletVaccine]

I'm just wondering, do people who think it's "none of the XH's business" who stays over at home, also think it isn't any of the Mother's business if NRP ExH has his new girlfriend sleeping over?

I'm not trying to be a GF. It is just I've seen many threads where the RP isn't happy at all when a new partner is quickly introduced to DCs during contact visits.

[Marmaladeday]

'They were in bed together when DP dropped of his DD at her house last week'.

Well we all know two consenting grown ups shouldn't be doing anything together that's worse than knitting.

What inspection did she give you OP?