DS, 21m, has had times recently where has hasn't gone down at his usual bedtime of 7pm and instead, has gone down at day 730. Thats fine. But lately, it's getting harder and harder. Over the weekend gone, he was up til 9 on 2 of the nights. Last night he didn't go down until 1040. It appears to all be because of teething but I don't know what's for the best. If we leave him in bed, he cries and cries - nut just winghing but full on sobs with tears. If we get him up he settles and starts playing with his toys. I don't want to make a rod for my own back where he learns if he cries, he gets to get up and play but it's soul destroying to leave him sobbing his heart out.
I am so stuck as to what to do. My brain says he must learn that bedtime is bedtime and not play. My heart says I don't want him to get upset. My head says he's only getting upset because he's not getting his own way. My heart says stop being such a mean mum.... and it goes on!
I really don't know whats for the best. If anyone can help, I'd be really grateful x
AIBU?
to ask what to do when my son won't settle to sleep?
cjt110 · 19/05/2016 12:45
Get him up for a cuddle! I say that as I'm sitting here yawning from have no sleep due to be co sleeping with dc2 & 3 who are 16 months and nearly 2&1/2 
. If I could go back about a year is try controlled crying. Actually I probably wouldn't.
he also seems to know if he cries long enough, he will get allowed to get up.
Yup
If you think a child is ill or in pain at all then that assumption has to take a back seat of course. I think giving meds, cuddles, and back to bed is the way to go even so. Over and over and over and over if necessary. Monitoring them each time, working out is this fussing or is this genuine upset? Then back to bed!
Once you do something with a toddler once they will look for it again and again if it was more fun than the usual routine. So if you're not going to do it all the time then it's best avoided. (Unless they're ragingly poorly of course, then i'd go all out. Downstairs all evening, sleeping in with us, ect.)
Therefore for night/late evening waking I try to give comfort, stop the crying, solve the problem, and pop them back to bed. Once there isn't a real problem there's not a lot of point in calling me up there. They'll just get the cuddle and be put back to bed .
Re read my post and I feel like i made no sense at all there
Eponas Makes pefek sense I know he was/is teething but he'd had so much pain relief, he should have been flying! He had milk in with him, his dummy, his teddy etc so no actual need to be with us. I say this as he wasn't all that interested in us when he did get up with us.
Hoping it's just a blip. He is very clever and I know he is starting to suss it out but at the same time, I can't deal with the sobbing and screaming we get. Whats worse, his room is off our lounge so he can hear us clearer than if he was say upstairs.
A colleague says to just leave him to cry otherwise he won't learn how to fall asleep on his own. I think children who are left in pain to cry learn something. But it's not how to fall asleep on their own.
DD got attention but never anything 'fun'. A tablet with ITNG would have been baby crack to her so that couldn't happen in this house. I would never have slept again.
Basically all bets are off when they are sick or in pain, back to routine when they feel better.
Would it be worth trying a slight later bedtime than 7pm for him? say 730, or even 8? Routine is out the window in some ways today and tomorrow as we have a guest who is flying from Canada to see him so he may be up a bit later anyway. We go away on our hols in 4 weeks and I'd like to actually get some sleep before his routine is thrown out the window again!
MrsTerry Oh, believe me it, was my last resort. We had already sat in silence, in the dark with no tv etc on and he still wasn't finding it tiring or boring.
Vikkijayne2507 Tried the whole touching, shushing etc and cuddling. It's like trying to wrestle with a pissed off gorilla who is screaming at you 
I would lay him down and he would instantly start crying. I'd say to him "It's bedtime now. Sleep tight" and leave the room but it would go on and on and after say 5 minutes I'd try again and get nowhere.
I don't think I could do CIO. I know some people swear by it but it's too distressing for me, let alone my son.
Cc is distressing for you but trust me your son will benefit in the end to have a rested happy mummy.
Your choice though. 
Is his room nice and dark? I know it's hard at this time of year but you can get black out lining for curtains and peg the edges together for maximum gloom
I think the fact he can hear you all in the next room is a bit of a problem to get past at this age as they want to join in with everyone now. Not a tiny baby any more. However - if you can stick to your guns and teach him that even if he can hear your noises it doesn't mean he gets to get up then he will learn.
I have teens who forget to creep about upstairs and i hear them set the baby monitor off with their noise! Throwing their shoes about and - the cheek of it - laughing together! Grrrrr. 
Sometimes it wakes DD4 (27m), sometimes she'll call one of their names, but she just babbles for a while then and then goes off to sleep again.
I think doing a later bedtime for a while could help get through this patch. Babies can't tell the time - you can gradually pull back to the usual routine once this stage is over.
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