to think my primary school child may be being bullied already?

(4 Posts)
midlifehope Thu 19-May-16 09:39:59

Help me get some perspective here. I have a small baby so am very sleep deprived. DS 1 who is 4 started school in January and something is not right. Every day he says he is poorly with stomach ache or headache. He says everyday he doesn't want to school as he prefers to stay with me. It is physically, mentally and emotionally exhausting. Today I caught a glimpse of another slightly older boy (mixed ages), 'accidentally bumping' into him, and another one laughing. It could be nothing, or it could be something. On another occasion, I noticed through the class window at pickup time, this second boy appearing to rough someone up (unless I completely misinterpreted it) and feared it could be my son. Whatever, we are not in a happy place. My has some hearing loss and wears aids, which shouldn't be a factor. I know you're going to say 'ask the teacher' but on all the occasions i've had contact, they've said all is fine, so I've no idea what is going on. Argh!!!!!!!!! Feel so stressed. I had to almost (metaphorically) push him out of the door today.

ILoveAGoodBrusselSprout Thu 19-May-16 09:47:00

It's horrible, worrying when you're not even sure it's something worth worrying about! I've been there re bullying.

He's so little, so he might not have the language yet to tell you what's going on - my DD was 10 and found it difficult to explain as it was never anything physical with her bullies.

Why not ask him questions like:
Who's your favourite person in school? Why?
Who's your least favourite...
Is everyone in school nice and kind to each other?
Is there anyone who seems naughty?
Is there anyone who makes you feel sad?

You'll know what language to use with your own DS and maybe different questions. That might make you better informed to approach the school.

Often we trust our gut feelings without real information but then overreact. Sometimes (like in my DDs case), you have a gut feeling but don't act on it incase you're overreacting. It's a minefield.

Good luck

Marthacliffscumbag Thu 19-May-16 09:56:34

I think it's more likely that he knows you're at home with the baby and he wants to be there too. It's probably making him feel a bit sad and pushed out hence all the excuses to be able to stay at home.
We went through similar with my son when I had his brother.

midlifehope Thu 19-May-16 10:15:21

Hmm, thanks for these replies.Sprout, I've asked him these questions over and over. I haven't really got anywhere. We looked at a school photo and he identified 3 'naughty' ones, but the boy in question was obscured.

Martha - it could well be this. perhaps I should reduce his days down (we are allowed until he is 5)? It's just so exhausting with both of them, that I'm a little reluctant ;)

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