FB Birthday etiquette

[stealthsquiggle]

Less AIBU than trying to establish what the norm is, I suppose.

When Facebook tells me that it is [insert random aquaintance]'s birthday, then unless it is a close enough friend that I think "oh shit I didn't send a card", I tend to ignore it. Does this make me grumpy and antisocial?

FWIW, I haven't added my own birthday to my profile, and my profile is locked down quite tight, so I don't expect/need/want anyone to be wishing me a Happy Birthday either..

[SweetieDrops]

I usually write a quick happy birthday, it only takes seconds. The only one I don't bother with is with a couple who have a joint FB account but I only know one of them and if I get a notification I don't know whose actual birthday it is. I find joint FB accounts weird though.

[WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant]

Good friend or family usually get a message.
Others don't.

And I send a card before fb tells me...

[stealthsquiggle]

Hmm. A range of views. I know it only takes a second, but these are people who I only know through school/work/village/whatever. Without FB telling me, I would have not a clue when their birthdays were and therefore no reason to wish them happy birthday. Doing so purely because FB has nagged reminded me feels superficial and somehow wrong (I can't define why, really - hence the question)

[hellsbellsmelons]

It takes 2 seconds so it's easy enough to brighten up someone's day.
Why not!?

[stealthsquiggle]

Does it brighten their day, though, hellsbells? Really? If it were me I would be faintly embarrassed that a social media platform had made a random acquaintance feel that they needed to say something.

(Can you see why I suspect that I may be antisocial and grumpy now ?)

[DrinkReprehensibly]

I think the same every time but then when my birthday comes around, it does tend to make me feel nice that loads of people just took that moment to send me a happy birthday, so I try and do it for the Facebook friends I like.

[Toddzoid]

Hardly any of my FB friends acknowledged my birthday and I was a little bit bummed about it. Just because I know they'll have been reminded about it and they couldn't take two seconds to send a quick happy birthday? I do it for everyone but out of pettiness I won't now except for the ten people that bothered .

[ALemonyPea]

I only do it for people I am close to and would wish them a happy birthday if I saw them normally.

I've removed my birthday from FB as I can't cope with all the fake happy birthdays.

[hellsbellsmelons]

When I see loads of happy birthday messages on my birthday, of course it brightens my day.
Why wouldn't it?

[WhitePhantom]

If you were out and about and happened to meet someone and they mentioned that it's their birthday, would you say Oh! Happy birthday! to them? If so then do the same on fb.

I like getting all the birthday wishes on fb and don't find it weird at all. It's just nice!

[Catzpyjamas]

This sums up my thoughts

[stealthsquiggle]

Toddzoid and LemonyPea have neatly summed up the two sides of my dilemma. If I am reminded and don't, then I fear people may feel like they are being snubbed, but I don't want the "fake" Happy Birthdays myself and therefore tend to think that others won't.

Logically, I guess, if they do feel as Lemony and I do then they would have removed their birthday from their profiles, so I shoud get over myself and just post the damn comment.

[ThoraGruntwhistle]

I just quickly write them a message on FB. It takes a few seconds and us polite.
I would wonder why I had people on my friends list at all if a) I've heard nothing from them in ages and then b) they can't even be arsed to quickly write happy birthday when they get a notification saying it. It's the bare minimum of trouble to take really.

[EustachianTube]

I don't have my birthday on my profile for the same reason as you stealth, I do mostly wish my FB friends happy birthday if I get a reminder though. I try not to have people on Facebook unless they are genuine friends or family

[manicinsomniac]

If I still know then I post a message.

If it's someone I knew years ago and now only 'see' through facebook I ignore it.

[mellysam]

I never wish anyone happy birthday on FB, no one has complained to me (and if they are complaining behind my back I am blissfully unaware)

[Katedotness1963]

I do acknowledge birthdays. It literally takes seconds and could brighten someone's day, why not?

[EmmaWoodlouse]

If we interact with each other reasonably often I usually just put "Happy Birthday! x" If I haven't actually seen them on FB for months or even years, I don't bother - chances are they won't see it. For good friends, or people I've seen quite recently, I'll probably write something a bit more personal even if I'll also be giving them a card or present.

[Vickyyyy]

I always say happy birthday if I notice its someone birthday on FB, even people I haven't spoke to since school. It takes a few seconds and its really no bother, and who knows, it might make their day to have a bunch of people say happy birthday or something. Costs nowt.

I only send cards and such to people in my life right now though.

[Justmeagain78]

My sil had over a hundred gushing messages wishing her happy birthday and telling how gorgeous she is. I won't get as many unless every single 'friend' posts on my wall and thy certainly won't fawn over me. So even though I know that logically it's absurd - my birthday will be a reminder of how not popular I am!

[stealthsquiggle]

Well, persuaded by MN logic, I did comment on today's birthday, and my virtue was rewarded by finding out she is actually older than me

[Samcro]

hmm I just put Happy birthday

its just nice

[TwirlsInTwirlsOutAgain]

I only have people on my FB friends list that I would be happy to say "hello" to in real life, so a happy birthday message takes seconds and is nice and why wouldn't I?
If you're one of those that adds hundreds you've never met before, then that could be a bit different I suppose and I'd only say happy birthday to those I knew personally.

[TwirlsInTwirlsOutAgain]

I always say happy birthday if I notice its someone birthday on FB, even people I haven't spoke to since school
Got quite a few old classmates from school on my FB - I may not have seen some of them for 20 years, but it's still nice to say happy birthday.
As someone said, if it can brighten up somebody's day, why not?