To be surprised at this Mother

(128 Posts)
Lucylaceingale Tue 17-May-16 16:09:10

I have 4 DC's 21, 19, 17 and DS(8), I don't do school pick ups and I'm not as invested in playground gossip as DH is (he loves it) and I'm not particularly close with any of the other Mums.

DS(8) has been great friends with another boy since Reception, but over Christmas a new family moved in on our street, with a DC the same age as DS8 who started at the same school.

DS' long time friend promptly dropped him in favour of the new boy, but with older siblings and a host of after school activities, DS quickly moved on, we haven't had contact with the friend / friends family since February.

DS' birthday is coming up and is on the same week as the friends birthday, it falls on a Friday, so we've chosen to celebrate on the Saturday instead, DH is taking DS and 4 friends down to London for the day and is dragging along our 17 year old DS as extra help, DS17 agreed as long as he could bring a friend, the friend turned out to be our new neighbours oldest DS, the older brother of the new boy.

On Saturday the older brother asked DS17 if he could bring along new boy on the day and DH agreed.

Yesterday, DS8' old friend was handing out invites to his birthday party on the same Saturday as DS8' trip, 10 kids were invited, mixture of boys and girls, DS was not included.

This afternoon I received a very passive aggressive email from Friends Mum, she thinks I've purposely caused the dates to clash and went out of my way to invite half of her sons invitee's and have stolen new boy.

She writes 'I didn't expect her DS to receive an invite but I certainly didn't think that you'd ruin his party'

I'm in complete shock, I have no idea what to write back or why she's getting so upset, I've never dealt with anything like this.

TheRollingCrone Tue 17-May-16 16:18:18

Ooh that's unfortunate, why she would think you'd purposely do such a thing, I can't think confused

I wouldn't apologise - perhaps email back saying it's unfortunate, but you really didn't think. It's too late to cancel rearrange now.

I do pick ups and drop offs no choice,no husband and I don't gossip.
It's more of hope the weather lasts your little ones getting big banal chat.

Is your school paticularly gossipy then?

Chillyegg Tue 17-May-16 16:21:20

I personally wouldn't reply. Because I feel if the shoe was on the other foot this peron wouldn't give a flying fuck.
It's unfortunate but nothing you can do now.

Gardencentregroupie Tue 17-May-16 16:25:19

So two kids have their birthday the same week, one got their invites out first and the mum of the other has the arse that an invited child won't be coming, is that right? Well she should have got her invites out sooner silly tit.

sharknad0 Tue 17-May-16 16:25:56

So you plans were all made and agreed BEFORE the other boy gave his invitations?

I would tell the mother just that, you won't aware of any party that day when you made your arrangements, she is actually clashing with yours. (I would rather tell her to go away in the least polite way, but we are supposed to be the adults here, aren't we!)

PaulAnkaTheDog Tue 17-May-16 16:27:10

I'm confused. Did you know the date of the other kids birthday or was she expecting you to check your crystal ball? Strange woman.

KatharinaRosalie Tue 17-May-16 16:27:19

Dear Batshit Mother,

As our plans for DS birthday were made before I was even aware of yours, are you on glue?

WorraLiberty Tue 17-May-16 16:28:00

I just wouldn't reply.

It all sounds far too immature to waste your time over.

RaeSkywalker Tue 17-May-16 16:28:47

What the heck?!

I wouldn't reply. New boy wasn't even invited to your DS's party, he's just tagging along! Hardly your fault.

MyBreadIsEggy Tue 17-May-16 16:31:39

Katherina grin at "are you on glue" grin

Sounds to me like someone has issues with her precious angel having to share his birthday with another child......another child whose parents happened to have their shit together and got invitations out before she did.
Blaming her poor organisation skills on you. How dare you have your sons birthday celebration on the same day OP hmm

tharsheblows Tue 17-May-16 16:32:05

If it were me I'd reply with something along the lines of 'I had no idea you had anything planned.' then leave it and not respond to any further messages.

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes Tue 17-May-16 16:32:08

Yes, you're being unreasonable with the clashing dates.

Why didn't you keep your legs crossed and give birth a week later?

<tuts>

leelu66 Tue 17-May-16 16:32:34

Ugh. As if the world revolves around her DS.

Have all four DS friends accepted the invite? Has the new boy picked your DS's outing instead of her son's? That may have annoyed her grin

Groovee Tue 17-May-16 16:32:59

This happened to a friend of mine. She was hosting a sleepover on her dd's birthday and the other mother went apeshit about the fact the my friend was holding her child's birthday.

She said nothing in return as she wasn'5 getting into a fight over it.

Lucylaceingale Tue 17-May-16 16:33:47

Our arrangements were sorted out last week, new boy was added on last Saturday and the old friends Mum handed out invites yesterday, so yes, she's technically clashing on our date, but she honestly seems to think I've magically read her mind, chose that day out of spite and then went out of our way to invite new boy, DS8 barely knows the boy, they're not in the same class and he wasn't invited in the first place.

TheRollingCrone, I doubt everyone at the school is gossipy, DH certainly is and manages to find others just as gossipy.

PortiaCastis Tue 17-May-16 16:34:09

Just ignore. The woman is clearly bonkers and needs to grow up

leelu66 Tue 17-May-16 16:34:29

Oh, sorry, just saw the new boy is the friend's younger brother!

leelu66 Tue 17-May-16 16:35:51

It's strange that the new boy wants to go to your DS's birthday rather your DS's old friend's? Do you know why?

Sukebind Tue 17-May-16 16:36:28

Don't reply. Emails/texts are not the way to discuss this sort of thing. Would she gave said that to you in person? I doubt it. If you reply she will just get grist to her mill and then email you again, getting herself more het up. Sigh.

Sorry she is being so unreasonable.

Lucylaceingale Tue 17-May-16 16:37:19

Leelu66, everyone's accepted DS8' invite and no ones pulled out yet, so I'm assuming she already knows that they won't be attending her DS party.

Lucylaceingale Tue 17-May-16 16:39:46

Leelu66, new boy / his brother asked if he could come before he received the other invite.

I think I'll ignore the email, it's unlikely I'll see her again for a while anyway, just really surprised at her, she's always been quite nice in the past.

readingrainbow Tue 17-May-16 16:40:14

I agree - don't reply as there's nothing you would say that can mollify her. If she really wants to talk about it, she can come knocking.

HisNameWasPrinceAndHeWasFunky Tue 17-May-16 16:41:48

but other Mum's older DS is going to your sons London party - so she may well know of your DS's plans, whereas you wouldn't have a clue about hers.

Agree to just ignore and don't reply.

Pinkheart5915 Tue 17-May-16 16:47:19

Just ignore, no reply needed. Crazy mother, I guess you always get one.
Your plans were known by her eldest ds so she must of known your plans and even if she didn't your invites went out first so I don't see the problem

Goingtobeawesome Tue 17-May-16 16:51:48

Oh dear. But you've done nothing wrong so I agree, don't reply.

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