To be upset that my immediate family didn't acknowledge my 40th

(45 Posts)
Blarblarblar Tue 17-May-16 11:42:48

My DH did obviously and gave me a lovely day but my mum,dad & siblings didn't even send me a card let alone a present.
I'm willing to acknowledge I'm being petty but I'm hurt and want to gauge how others would feel.
In general I thought we were a close family. I've sent a text to say I was hurt but no reply.

LittleSausageFingers Tue 17-May-16 11:47:44

Not even a text message or phone call? YANBU. That's pretty upsetting, sorry OP. Glad your DH gave you a nice day.

Blarblarblar Tue 17-May-16 11:50:07

2 called, one sent a txt the day after.
I want to let it go but I'm so upset.

A11TheSmallTh1ngs Tue 17-May-16 11:51:20

Did you have a party or lunch or something that they were invited to?

TheNaze73 Tue 17-May-16 11:52:54

What did you invite them to?

Only1scoop Tue 17-May-16 11:54:20

I wouldn't be upset with the two that called....but surely it wouldn't have hurt the others to acknowledge your birthday also.

Do you normally get a card etc from family members?

Blarblarblar Tue 17-May-16 11:55:41

I invited my mum, who lives near me to spend the day with me, she chose not to. My siblings live a little too far to visit for a couple of hours.

Grumpyoldblonde Tue 17-May-16 11:58:03

Yanbu, very hurtful not to send cards/gifts/call.
Would never happen in my family, we make a biggish deal out of occasions, but in your shoes I would be very hurt.
Glad your DH made the day nice.

Blarblarblar Tue 17-May-16 12:00:36

I don't normally make a big deal of birthdays but it's my 40th
In the few days before mum was asking what I wanted and I said just a little something for the house, we were joking but I actually thought it was a joke and kept thinking she would turn up. All day I just thought no she hasn't surely not got me even a card.

Grumpyoldblonde Tue 17-May-16 13:03:35

If you normally get on with your family and they normally send cards, then this is just mean, horrible. Unless, they have a surprise planned for you? (that would piss me off even more tbh)

Majorlyscared1993 Tue 17-May-16 13:06:01

Cut them out. they are rude and cruel. Don't make any sort of effort to their birthdays again.

RainbowsAndUnicorns5 Tue 17-May-16 13:08:07

starcake Happy Birthday !! cakestar

gamerchick Tue 17-May-16 13:14:58

Happy birthday flowers that is hurtful, especially as it's a special one. its even worse when you make a fuss over theirs. Do they usually make an effort? Do they have something planned do you think?

My parents forgot mine once, I wouldn't care but I'd spent that whole day with them. I think that's what can happen if you don't normally do anything.

Elle80 Tue 17-May-16 13:16:43

Wow YANBU. Yes I would have been very upset to not even have received a card from my parents and sibling(s). I'm glad you had a lovely day courtesy of your DH. Happy belated birthday

Blarblarblar Tue 17-May-16 13:17:21

I think I feel more foolish because I thought it was a joke and actually they were going to surprise me blush
I texted them to say I was hurt and I only got a reply from my father saying that my mother was very upset. Why did everyone ignore her birthday? (I didn't reply just thought it)

Grumpyoldblonde Tue 17-May-16 13:26:40

Your mother is upset? She ignores your birthday, and she is upset? Well, boo bloody hoo. You do something nice at the weekend Op, I hate it when you tell somebody they have upset you and they get all upset themselves, very weird way to behave.

Blarblarblar Tue 17-May-16 13:29:51

Drives me nuts too. It's the usual.

SirChenjin Tue 17-May-16 13:30:32

Oh that's bad of them sad

Did none of them give a reason? What on earth could have possessed them to think it was OK to ignore your 40th?

itssaulgoodman Tue 17-May-16 13:33:48

I'm so sorry Blar cake flowers Thats really mean! The same happened to me on my 30th and I was devastated. Bastards the lot of them!

Grumpyoldblonde Tue 17-May-16 13:37:09

Bastards indeed, Auntie Grumpy prescribes a bottle of champagne and some nice chocs at the weekend for you Op, and a nice bunch of flowers. Your Mum has form for this by the sound of it, you take care of yourself from now on.
Happy belated birthday to you!

fascicle Tue 17-May-16 13:43:01

Happy birthday. Is your family generally casual about birthdays? Just wondering if this is par for the course.

onehappymummy Tue 17-May-16 13:51:24

I'd be upset too but not suprised. Sometimes people assume you wont care and so dont bother. I get it frequently - no fuss on my 21st, 30th or even any sort of hen-do (family only wedding with sister as MoH, a meal or a couple of drinks at the pub would have done me) before my wedding. They always assume that I wont want a fuss so dont do it. I have learnt that if I want something I have to specifically ask. Mention before events with not so subtle hints (e.g. "I'll speak to you later, well at least on my bday" or jokingly "you better not forget my birthday!) or lower your expectations.

Blarblarblar Tue 17-May-16 13:55:22

Thanks folks, at least I feel like I'm not being petty.
I'll lower my expectations and just try and let it go. I'm sure my mum will now huff with me for the next few weeks for mentioning it.

Grumpyoldblonde Tue 17-May-16 13:58:23

Well, you huff right back at her, she is the one who ignored your 40th.

Blarblarblar Tue 17-May-16 14:09:09

I'm not a good huffer grumpy but I'll not be calling her smile

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