Back story PIL are separated and live overseas. DD is 18 months, DH works away during the week, I now work part-time. MIL came over last year for 6 weeks when DD was four months old, spent 4 weeks with me, 2 weeks visiting other family. FIL came over when DD was eight months old for 8 weeks spent 6 weeks with me. DH took no holiday I was on mat leave so was with them 24/7.
MIL was bloody hard work, she wouldn't drive so dependent on me to go anywhere and is quite picky about washing and housework, meals etc. She also wakes very early or middle of the night clatters around the house waking me up too. FIL was much better at chipping in and being independent but I'd just had enough of houseguests by the end.
MIL is coming for Christmas and I have decided this time there will be changes, DH must take some holiday to be with her, I'm working so if she wants to run errands on those days she needs to drive herself or get the bus. If she wants clean towels then she can help herself (and help wash the dirty ones). FIL also wanted to come visit this year but I've said no only one or other per year.
If they only came for a weekend I'd happily be hostess. They are not bad people I really like them, they adore DD. I feel bad they miss out on so much. I just can't handle guests for so long. DH is generally supportive but thinks I have an issue with his mum and I'm being a bit unreasonable with the rules. I'm also concerned she'll say she's fine with being more independent but when it comes to the crunch she'll complain I'm at work and she's alone. I'm not sure I would want to leave her in sole charge of DD either, although I know MIL will want to. MIL has health issues I don't think she could manage a toddler and DD doesn't know her. How do I deal with that request when it crops up???
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AIBU?
AIBU Still concerned PIL visits
8 replies
kiwiquest · 16/05/2016 13:27
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