How much talk about your DC's is too much?

[frecklesagogo]

My best friend has a DD and all she ever talks about is DD. We've been best friends for 20 years, the past 3 since DD landed have been a struggle. I love her DD too, but I find myself inwardly groaning every time I see her and the 'my DD' monologue begins with accompanied pictures and film footage.

I have a DD too and of course I think she is the most incredible thing in the world, but I try to speak with my audience in mind and be selective about the content I share. And I love best friends DD, she really is wonderful but I'm struggling to be interested in all the stories and actually struggling to keep relationship with best friend alive.

My other mum friends seem able to strike the balance of conversation topics and I find myself preferring their company to best friend. I hoped the DD monologues was "just a phase" but I'm starting to think that this is it now.

What do you do? Can you ever say anything without it being a friendship killer?

[cjt110]

For some people, their child is it. I can't often think of things to say to my friends who also have children, other than about my son. I often do really wonder what it was like before him because DH and I speak mainly about our DS. I must say, even I find it boring and monotonous.

Can you say in a jokey way "From now on, talk of our children are banned at our Meet Ups"

[IWILLgiveupsugar]

It's hard to listen to because the unspoken implication is that her child is so much more interesting than yours.

[Gwenci]

It's also hard to listen to because it's bloody tedious.

I have a friend like that op. We've both got two DC (both of us have two under 3s) and she tells me about everything hers have both done in minute detail. To be fair, it's not boasting, it's usually about tantrums, night wakenings, food refusal etc. But I find it SO hard to feign interest. I'm living it myself, I don't have the capacity to deal with my own DC issues and listen endlessly to hers.

Sorry, no solution here but if you find out how to deal with it let me know!

[Bumpsadaisie]

Its a tricky one. Some family members of ours, with whom we used a have great fun, have become very dull since they became parents to their two DCs.

IME it gets better when kids start school. When they are babies and toddlers parents feel the responsibility weighing heavily on their shoulders and are v anxious (hence the continual ruminating about them).

When kids are at school most of the week and are older and are clearly their own separate people, IME parents get over themselves a bit and cease to talk about their children all the time.

It's better with second children too. With eldests, parents are permanently anxious as they don't yet have the life experience know that it will all be alright in the end, Johnny will walk eventually, Sally with eat half-decently one day, and soon enough they will go to bed at a reasonable time without a tantrum. This anxiety breeds obsession and not all of them manage to keep the obsession strictly to themselves.

Well I remember, when my DM babysat my PFB, giving Dm strict instructions that DD must be played Baby Mozart as she dozed off. The shame. To my mother's eternal credit she went along with this ludicrous edict.

[acasualobserver]

I don't have my own children so the answer to your question is about five minutes.

[IDontBelieveAnything]

I had a lovely friend who talked WAYYYYY too much about her two sons and used to do little impersonations of them including their squeaky voices all the time. Aghhhhhhhhhhh!