To ask for help with regulating nerves?

(11 Posts)
Mytummyisnotatrampoline Sat 14-May-16 13:31:41

I have an interview for a promotion next week. It's a BIG leap both responsibility and money wise. I've been studying for the qualification needed for over a year and I'm really pleased to get the interview.
However, I have NEVER been successful in interviews in my field. I mean never. I've gotten the interviews, prepared, practiced and then, on the day, nerves take over.
I forget everything, ramble, go at the speed of light. I also-full disclosure-spend the whole interview needing the loo. It's quite hard to concentrate when your nerves manifest themselves this way!

I know I'm not getting the job (there's a candidate with much more experience and Im pretty sure this is them being kind) BUT I don't want to come across as a total lost cause, especially as it's an internal promotion. I could cope with being shit if it was a completely different company, but knowing I'll have to face these people again makes me desperate to not come off as a complete moron.

Any tips? How do you stay calm, seem confident and remember your answers?

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted Sat 14-May-16 13:46:50

Why attend the interview if you know you're not getting the job?

Your employers are not being kind. Very few of them ever are. You are being invited to the interview because they think you have a fighting-chance of being considered for the post. Why would they waste their time and yours if you didn't have a cat's chance in hell?

You are an internal candidate so they know you, your skills and attributes, and what you are capable of. This puts you at a huge advantage.

The main thing which will discourage them from offering you this post is you. If you go in being completely negative you risk talking them out of it.

It's OK to admit that you're nervous. If the interview had no importance to you, you'd breeze in not giving a shit. It's their job to put you at ease so you can shine.

If you are asked a question, count to three before giving your answer, so you can properly formulate your response and keep it to the point before you bluster and blather. I have a feeling you'll know the type of questions they will pose, so you should practice your answers ahead of time until you're confident of giving an appropriate response.

Honestly, you've almost got this job in the bag but the only person you have to persuade of it is yourself.

GO, MYTUMMY!

RoboticSealpup Sat 14-May-16 13:48:56

I take beta blockers in this situation. They're not supposed to affect your thinking in any way (it's normally used as a heart medication) but I've noticed that if the dose is too high it actually makes me a bit "slow". You want to hit the sweet spot where you don't feel like a jibbering wreck, but you don't completely lose the edge that some healthy nervousness gives you. My GP has always been happy to give it to me for 'stage fright'.

RoboticSealpup Sat 14-May-16 13:49:53

Also, two or three immodium.

Sallygoroundthemoon Sat 14-May-16 15:08:29

I really like Bach rescue remedy as I find it just takes the edge off nerves. That, and remember to take your time to answer questions, speak calmly and not too fast and don't be afraid to admit you don't know something - much better than trying to bullshit through.

AdrenalineFudge Sat 14-May-16 15:17:13

I do think you are approaching this from the wrong mentality. You've already ruled yourself out before the event itself.
You sound on the extreme end of self-deprecating. I don't know if this is something that affects more women than men..? In my time I've seen more male colleagues without the relevant qualifications or experience go for higher roles than I have women. Though granted there are other issues at play.

I'd focus on bringing up your confidence levels more. You've studied for a qualification for over a year so you clearly have desire to push yourself further and develop. You've pin-pointed your weak areas wrt talking too fast and rambling. Can you role-play with someone to get the pace and structure of how you'd like to present.

I've always told myself that it'll all be okay and no-one is going to kill me if I fuck up and I've had some car crash interviews - I once attended an interview for a company which I appeared to think was another company. That didn't go down well and I still cringe all these years later but I do see the funny side of it.

I know that you might think with the best will in the world all this is just words and on the day itself you'll fuck up but I do think it's a mentality thing. I can brush previous misdemeanours aside and do the best I can do for the day.

Good luck. You've got a chance at this. You know yourself - you just need to refine the way you present and you'll be there. And also don't see previous interviews as evidence that you are completely shit, see them as learning experiences. It might sound trite but the mind is a very powerful thing.

Curviest Sat 14-May-16 15:18:42

I don't know why Bach rescue remedy works, but it does!

Also, breathe into your belly.

RoboticSealpup Sat 14-May-16 20:38:46

Very strong chamomile tea is good too, but for me it's not enough by itself.

Ricepudding11 Sat 14-May-16 20:41:10

Rescue remedy

Mytummyisnotatrampoline Sun 15-May-16 07:10:35

Thank you for all your responses.

I've been working hard on my presentation today-will work on answers for potential questions tomorrow.

I'm not normally so defeatest-it's just that interviews have traditionally been my undoing. It's hard to be positive when history has told me otherwise.

I'll buy rescue remedy today.

RoboticSealpup Sun 15-May-16 13:51:31

Do try the chamomile tea as well. Whereas rescue remedy is homeopathic, chamomile is proven to have a calming effect and is even used by people with spasms because it's a muscle relaxant. It really does work.

Good luck!

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