aibu to apply for this job?

(9 Posts)
Theknittinggorilla Thu 12-May-16 17:21:17

I have a dilemma and am hoping for some wise mumsnet advice.

I have two children and would very much like a third. My husband is unsure whether he wants to have another child. He is not categorically no, but certainly not yes let's get started. Discussions tend to end with 'I don't know yet'.

In the years during which I have had children and worked part time, my career has stalled. I am still working in my profession but at a level lower than I would have been if I had not taken time out, And also slightly out of my main area of expertise (as this have me more flexible hours). The jobs at the next level are full time only so currently no possible promotion. I am getting extremely frustrated that a) there is no desire in the business to develop and promote me as I am part time and effectively on the mummy track and b) people with less experience (and I would argue ability!) are now starting to be promoted above me. I am struggling hugely to be motivated, and it is feeling less and less worthwhile leaving my children in nursery to go to a job that gives me no satisfaction. I am bored and frustrated at work.

The only thing that has kept me going in to work has been the feeling that it is temporary and worth it to keep stability, have the third baby, and after that apply for a new job or even work for myself. I definitely want to work, but want to do something more fulfilling, and more flexible than doing a half hearted job on a track that has a very obvious ceiling for me. I am excited about moving on to something new in the future and very confident I will be able to find a job that suits me or create a viable business (I have a profession).

The issue is - I have seen a job that looks almost perfect. It suits my skill set, is part time (very rare) and local. I am really excited at the thought of it. And if there isn't going to be a third baby I want to get on with my life and career and end this limbo that I am in. But it would be less than ideal to take on a new job and then get pregnant.

Do I risk applying, and then if a baby is on the cards eventually, deal with that when it comes? If I don't go for this job, how long do I wait in no mans land before making a decision?I don't want to pressure my husband into having a baby, that would be completely wrong and destined for disaster, but I don't think he really understands that for me it isn't a casual wait and see as it impacts all decisions I make. If we are having a third child I want to do that soon so i can make move on to the next phase of our life, and think about what my future and career outside of family life look like.

What would you do? If it helps I am 38 and my children are 4 and 18 months.

SoupDragon Thu 12-May-16 17:26:33

Apply for it. smile

What if you don't have a third baby?
What if you don't get the job?
What if you are abducted by aliens?

You can't live your life based on "what if" - go for it!

inlovewithhubby Thu 12-May-16 17:29:35

I'm with soup dragon. You can't put your life on hold and who knows, if you get the job it may change how you view having a third child too. Good luck!

Twowrongsdontmakearight Thu 12-May-16 17:29:48

Definitely apply. You never know if anything similar will come up again.

Pinkheart5915 Thu 12-May-16 17:32:04

Apply, Go for it.
Can't put things like this on hold in case you have a 3rd baby

ChaseAvenal Thu 12-May-16 17:40:57

Please do apply. You've not yet agreed with your husband about the third baby but you definitely know you want the job! Plus if you get pregnant a few months or even years down the line that won't lose you the opportunity/job (unless I'm missing some info) but not applying for it will!

missymayhemsmum Thu 12-May-16 17:53:54

Apply for it. Even if you then have another baby you will have been there long enough to qualify for maternity leave. And use the fact that you are now applying for other jobs to have the 'where is my career going if I stay?' conversation with your current employer.
They clearly haven't realised that being part time doesn't mean you are no longer committed and ambitious.

MatildaTheCat Thu 12-May-16 17:57:39

If you don't apply someone else will. Even if you have third child you will be in a great position to restart your career. If not you will be back on track.

If you never apply you'll never know.

WhereYouLeftIt Thu 12-May-16 18:06:46

Apply!

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