My brother recently, about 6 weeks ago, moved in to a house with his girlfriend. They’re renting and her mother was due to move in with them, which I believe she has now done. They were short of money when they decided to move in together and so asked my parents for help financially. He originally asked my mum to take out a loan, which annoyed me, but she said no.
My parents said that they’d help out with SOME of the money, but couldn’t afford to pay it all. This was only supposed to ever be a loan, but my brother doesn’t generally pay back loaned money. My mum gave £350, which was pretty much all she was going to give them, pretty early on to help with the fees and stuff, and my dad was going to help out with the first month’s rent. It turned out that out of the £2-ish-K that it cost them to move in that my brother and his girlfriend had £100 to put towards it. That annoyed me, but what annoyed me most was a day, or two, before they were due to move in he asked my mum for some more money.. My mum agreed thinking that it wouldn’t be more than £50, £100 tops. NO! He asked her for £1K, a whole grand knowing full well that she probably didn’t have it, and that he needed to pay it before he got the keys and moved in. My mum pretty much cleared her account, and my sister’s account (she agreed to help out), to give him, even though they both ended up paying bank charges for eventually being overdrawn. There was not even so much as a thank you.
My brother is a 31 year old man. My mum has been financially bailing him out ever since he was a fresh-out-of-school 16/17 year old. She even once used to give him at least £200 to cover some of his bills, food, ect. He’s been in debt twice before and was bailed out by my grandmother. The only time he ever contacts my mum is when he needs money, and very rarely for anything else.
He’s now considering declaring himself bankrupt to clear his debts as he can’t afford them. The thing with my brother is that he needs the best of everything and generally won’t consider anything second hand. I can’t help but feel unsympathetic towards his situation as he’s had years of bad money management to change his ways. I’m sure the idea of monthly bills mystifies him as he's never had enough money to cover them all, but has always been able to afford other things. My friend thinks I am being hugely unreasonable for thinking that he has brought this all on himself, and that I should be more sympathetic towards him because he is my brother.
Sorry for the long post. I really need/ed to vent.
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AIBU?
AIBU for being unsympathetic towards his situation?
18 replies
Jannerite · 12/05/2016 17:15
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