To think that the human reproductive system is a pile of steaming shite and must have been invented by a FUCKING MAN

(145 Posts)
Maryz Tue 10-May-16 21:05:22

Just that really.

[fucking furious]

Greaterthanthesumoftheparts Tue 10-May-16 21:06:42

Couldn't agree more.

Greaterthanthesumoftheparts Tue 10-May-16 21:09:16

And here, as if the reproductive system isn't shit enough, the legal system gets involved, whilst if we had no problems conceiving we could have had a bunch of kids by now, we're not allowed legally to start fertility treatment until DPs divorce is finalised (I wasn't OW but I am 37!).

Maryz Tue 10-May-16 21:11:34

Oh good, I will only accept agreement.

No bitchplopping professional aibu-ers telling me I'm unreasonable.

<narrow eyes>

DoinItFine Tue 10-May-16 21:11:38

we're not allowed legally to start fertility treatment until DPs divorce is finalised

shock

No way?!

WTF??

Maryz Tue 10-May-16 21:12:57

And sympathy for the ttc-ing.

My insides never fucking worked - eleven years it took me to get pregnant.

I'm just adding up the number of periods I've had to have to produce one baby. It's a stupidly inefficient system.

ohidoliketobe Tue 10-May-16 21:13:52

It's so badly designed it's actually laughable.

Maryz Tue 10-May-16 21:14:24

I wonder if your dp could get a vasectomy reversed on the NHS without being divorced?

Or is it just your reproductive system being controlled by the legal system?

AyeAmarok Tue 10-May-16 21:14:25

grin

Great thread!

BartholinsSister Tue 10-May-16 21:15:51

A lot of people do actually believe it was designed by a 'he'.

HumphreyCobblers Tue 10-May-16 21:16:38

YANBU

I am pre-menstrual and feel like shit. I have painful boobs. I am swollen about the hands and ankles. I am knackered and grumpy. I manage to eat unbelievably cleanly most of the time but in the days before my period I am evil without carbs.

It is really awful. What a waste of hormones, why are they doing this to me?

Maryz Tue 10-May-16 21:16:47

I've just added it up.

Every 28 days like fucking clockwork.

For 40 years. 40 years shock. That 40 x 13 = 520 fucking periods.

Minus one measly year for pregnancy breastfeeding because they came back when ds was 10 weeks old despite being ebf [bitter].

So 508 eggs produced. 508 womb linings prepared. 508 fucking periods. For one child.

Inefficient doesn't cover it [even more bitter]

Maryz Tue 10-May-16 21:17:59

I am 53 years old. I am going camping at the weekend. Guess what's fucking happened?

I WANT MY MENOPAUSE BACK.

Maryz Tue 10-May-16 21:19:10

If I was a production system in a factory (or a farm animal) I would have been discontinued years ago.

I want wine and I don't have any [grumpy]

DoinItFine Tue 10-May-16 21:19:22

Mine came back at 8 weeks 3 times, despite ebf

And I got really fat.

What did breastfeeding ever do for me? Nothing, that's what.

2 missed periods and 3 gained stones. 😲

HumphreyCobblers Tue 10-May-16 21:20:03

oooh, 10 weeks! That is terrible. Mine came back after 12 weeks with the last child but it was later with the others.

I am like the mother in that Emma Kennedy book, I am either waiting for my period to arrive, having my period or getting over having my period. I only have about two period free days a month.

Maryz Tue 10-May-16 21:21:40

And dd's eaten all the chocolate because hers started two days ago so she's cleaned out the cupboards and eaten all the solpadeine as she's mid-exams.

RJnomore1 Tue 10-May-16 21:22:46

It fucking messes up my training schedule too.

DoinItFine Tue 10-May-16 21:23:04

Even "period free" has the word period in it angry

Maryz Tue 10-May-16 21:24:27

I'm like that Humphrey.

I had/have endometriosis, so had painful ovulation and ten day periods for most of my life.

Just before Christmas it finally stopped. I welcomed my old age hot flushes and all the other shitty bits of the menopause because apparently it meant no more periods.

But no. Not me. I can get hot flushes and simultaneously look like I'm in a scene from Carrie.

Signed: RantyMcRantyPants

Scone1nSixtySeconds Tue 10-May-16 21:27:02

I have been tracking my periods on an app. I am not regular, so its take a guess at between 28 and 54 days.

I spend 12 of those days with moods swinging wildly.
15 days with boobs that feel like melons on the point of bursting.
And any other days in between wishing i was male.

I am nearly 42 41.

<cries>

<inhales carbs>

Maryz Tue 10-May-16 21:29:19

Only another 12 years to go Scone.

That's between 100 and 156 cycles.

Are you planning another baby? Otherwise I advise getting the entire lot whipped out by a roadside quack with a rusty penknife, it's gotta be easier in the long run.

Oysterbabe Tue 10-May-16 21:31:19

My period came back 8 weeks after giving birth. DD is 19 weeks and I've lost 5 fucking lbs since the day I got home from the hospital. Breastfeeding makes the weight fall off does it? Does it fuck.

HumphreyCobblers Tue 10-May-16 21:31:59

I should have insisted on complete removal of system after my last section

arghh at even 'period free' mentioning periods! How true.

I am 43 so may have a few years to go.

TheSaucySue Tue 10-May-16 21:32:34

Whilst we're on the subject, I've always thought the female pelvic floor set-up was really shit. <Laughs hollowly>

<Pisses self>

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now