To hide my toilet paper and other stuff my flatmates keeps using?!

(33 Posts)
Nonotmenori Sun 08-May-16 10:24:25

I recently moved into a flat share with two strangers. When I moved in I brought with me a wholesale amount of toilet paper. 50 rolls. I also bought pots and pans and a panini grill. (Everyone used their own pots and pans and there is no toaster) I have also replaced the kettle as the last one was full of lime scale and frankly just disgusting.

Flatmate B was away on holiday to her home country when I moved in. I met her when I was living there 3-4 weeks already. Flatmate A and I get on really well. When bins need emptying we both just do it. Same with cleaning. If something looks dirty we just get on with it. It's more a case of wherever sees it first will do it.

Flatmate B came back about 4 weeks ago. She is apparently starting a new job since she moved into here, but hasn't worked as she says she is working for the government and its taking some time for security clearance. So she is always here. And never goes out...

Flatmate A has taken a month off work to return to her home country. She's been gone 2 weeks now.

In the time Flatmate A has been gone. B hasn't emptied the bins even though they're overflowing with her crap. She has used my panini grill to toast her bread. And leaves behind crumbs every. Single. Time. When she asked about it I said yes please help yourselves just clean up after please. She has used one of my saucepans (it's cheap at £3 sainsburys basics) but has used a knife or spoon on it and scratched it. The toilet paper I brought ran out about 2 weeks ago. She knows i bought so much. As when I took her shopping she told me to buy a massive pack of bounty and I said no it's ok I'm only needing a two pack as its for my use only. I said to B her and A need to make sure about the toilet paper as I've bought over 50 rolls and its between the two of them for a while. She said nothing.

Fast forward to this week. She has put into the toilet 3 rolls over the course of the week. Never takes out the empty holders. Thursday the roll has ran out again.  It is still there now (Sunday) and she has not replaced it. I have gotten really annoyed so have taken to bringing my toilet paper in with me and removing when I leave. I have also replaced the washing up liquid. She has her own but is using mine. I have since taken that out of the kitchen. I have also had to top up the electricity and gas and she's done nothing whilst always being here. I work full time.

I honestly feel like she's taking the piss now. AIBU to stand my ground and not share anymore? I've done enough. I've even lent her a full length mirror as she didn't have one. I've taken her to the shops to do shopping as I'm the only one with a car. I'm not a mean person. I share with anyone, but I am feeling like I'm being taken advantage of and yet I'm feeling like being a petty bitch. QWhat's everyone's thoughts?

ImperialBlether Sun 08-May-16 10:29:14

I would want to move out!

Don't flatmates usually have a kitty every week for things like washing up liquid and loo roll? Would that be the way to go?

specialsubject Sun 08-May-16 10:33:40

Mummy's entitled little princess - and you get to suffer. Straight talking, demand money and lock away everything.

BarryTheKestrel Sun 08-May-16 10:35:13

I'd be starting a kitty and making sure that everyone (specifically B) is aware that living in squalor isn't on in shared accommodation and that she needs to pull her weight, especially as she isn't working and is there 24/7 causing more mess.

Alternatively buy some locks and start locking your things away. In an old flat share of mine we had lockers in the bathroom to keep things in and locks on kitchen cupboard doors as the previous flatmates were awful. It's a horrible way to live but saves money and keeps you accountable.

MyNewBearTotoro Sun 08-May-16 10:38:36

YANBU.

There is nothing more frustrating than housemates who don't pull their weight and are happy to fre-load off those who wish to maintain a clean, tidy house and who do jobs such as emptying bins/ replacing necessities etc.

I would always try to talk to somebody before taking action but if you've spoken to her and she hasn't improved I think it's reasonable to stop chipping in to communal items. If things belong to you it's completely fine to keep them in your room, it's frustrating to get to that point but sometimes it's the only way.

The only other thing I can suggest is a house kitty - everybody puts in £2 a week (or whatever you work out to be the needed amount) and that covers shared house essentials such as toilet paper, washing up liquid, toilet bleach, washing up sponges, light bulbs etc. That way everyone puts in the same amount and people can just take money from the kitty to buy house essentials as and when needed. It wouldn't help with things like not cleaning/ taking out the bins etc but it would at least get rid of the shopping problem.

I guess the other thing you could consider is a rota? A pain to set up and to get everyone on board but then once it's up and running that can help ensure housework is divided equally.

Oysterbabe Sun 08-May-16 10:38:39

God I don't miss house shares.
<helpful>

acasualobserver Sun 08-May-16 10:40:42

Yes, when you've got to the point of precise bog roll scrutiny, a different solution is needed. A kitty sounds like a good idea.

Nonotmenori Sun 08-May-16 11:07:29

Thank you for all the replies. I've never had to have a kitty before as in previous flat shares we always would buy a pack of nine the. It was whoever a turn and it always worked out well. (Always shared with girls) and reckon anyone would be horrified at running out of lol roll.

I'm a complete wuss with pulling anyone up. I hate bad feeling and you just never know how the other person will respond. I'm thinking I'm going to have to wait until A gets back as she's the main person here. She's quite tidy and doesn't like mess. Don't think she will be impressed when she returns home.

I'll just continue hiding my stuff away. I do have a lock fitted on my door after I moved in. Only because the devious Flatmate let himself in without ringing eye so I promptly fitted a door lock. I really like living here so don't want to move out. May say to A that I'll be looking if B doesn't sort herself out as its really not fair. A did talk to her before leaving reminding her to tidy up after herself.

ilovewelshrarebit123 Sun 08-May-16 11:31:39

I've house shared, its easy, just get a kitty pot. Everyone puts say a £5/£10 a month in, used to buy loo roll, fairy, kitchen roll and cleaning stuff.

Go to the pot if it runs out, I couldn't be bothered arguing over loo roll. Kitty makes it so much easier!

RandomMess Sun 08-May-16 11:41:00

Our kitty worked like this:

List of what you bought and what it cost under your name.

Every so often you would add up what it all cost, what each had paid in and who owed what to the others.

Worked better than the kitty as there was a visible list of who was buying what so the person who never shopped was very obvious. Also good when some drive and others don't as it's easier to stock up and get bargains when you are diving to supermarket.

Nonotmenori Sun 08-May-16 12:35:59

Oh good idea. I'll defiantly speak to A when she comes back and suggest the kitty idea. I reckon she's also been out of pocket re cleaning stuff and loo roll. It does seem silly all this over TP, but it's the principle of it. Thanks all. Will update what A comes back in about two weeks as she's useless texting.

Witchend Sun 08-May-16 12:44:04

Flatmates and 50 toilet rolls... And hiding them. Is there a special offer on somewhere?

Nonotmenori Sun 08-May-16 12:50:53

Haha Witch I was just thinking the exact same when I read the other posters thread. I'm a member of Costco so I can get about 50 rolls for about £15 I think it is.

Nonotmenori Sun 08-May-16 12:52:32

Ps I never hid 50 rolls I put the ones I bought in the communal area so everyone can stock up on the bathroom when it's low. I have 3 rolls in my room. Guess who will have to stock up soon enough shock

Leopard12 Sun 08-May-16 12:54:08

How do you pay bills? I find having a cash kitty is hard work as no one has change etc but when I had two lovely flatmates I set up a spare account in my name for bills and all three of us set up a direct debit to it which included extra for any shared items, although people did occasionally buy extras with their own money and no one seemed bothered. Although you do need to make sure there's enough in it every month if bills bounce it's your fault. You could do a card kitty, keep the card by the front door or safe space, say all transfer £20 to it and when it runs out same again, £60 should last a while for small items, need to ensure items are paid separately at the till though.

Some things you just need to let slide otherwise it just becomes very petty about who uses x squares of toilet rolls per day etc and a horrible environment to live in but if you've bought 50 it's totally unreasonable to expect you to buy anymore for a while yet!

SocialDisaster Sun 08-May-16 12:58:15

I would move out.

Whatthefreakinwhatnow Sun 08-May-16 13:01:58

Sorry OP,but when I first started my government agency job, my clearence took 5 months to come through, so she could be just hanging about for quite some time yet! shock

Nonotmenori Sun 08-May-16 13:05:48

Hi Leopard,

All bills are included in the rent. The reason I paid the gas and electricity is because it's on a meter and it's A who deals with it, but she is away and we were running low. So I deducted some of my rent to cover them both. B could have done the same, but seems she wanted me to cover it. Im not sure what her financial situation is. She isn't working and she doesn't do anything. If she's having difficulties she should say and I'd help where I can until she starts her job. She doesn't smoke, doesn't drink doesn't go out shopping except for Sainsburys. For all I know she could be be minted and tight with her money. I'm no way rich or even comfortable, but I do try and save a little for emergencies.

I really don't want to move out. I enjoy living here. The area is great and I can park my car for free (which is unheard of in London)

LineyReborn Sun 08-May-16 13:07:07

I've had flatmates who ate my food, made a mess, let strangers in to sleep on the sofa, didn't pay their share of the bills, and never cleaned the bath.

I think of it as practice for having teenagers.

Nonotmenori Sun 08-May-16 13:08:03

5 months Freak?! Oh my days. I reckon A will do her nut. Along with myself

Nonotmenori Sun 08-May-16 13:09:18

Liney she's 27. I'm 33 so I'm the older of them both. A is also 27. Except in reality I'm really about 21 in my head wink

LineyReborn Sun 08-May-16 13:18:41

Try not to be a wuss. I know it's hard, but at 27 your flatmate should be more responsible.

Maybe ask her some questions, e.g., 'What do you think should happen when we run out of loo roll? What's a fair way of sharing the tidying up?'

Whatthefreakinwhatnow Sun 08-May-16 13:22:40

Yes, depending on the level of clearance you need it can take time, and there is always a backlog! It makes recruitment sooooo slow!

Nonotmenori Sun 08-May-16 14:55:53

Ah ok, but you'd think she would do something with her time? Me personally would take up a part time role. The pub 5 doors down is desperate for staff right now. I couldn't sit here all day everyday.

FoodieToo Sun 08-May-16 16:01:24

Hilarious Liney!!

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