Having a breakdown!!

(11 Posts)
JoanneNewton Fri 06-May-16 19:36:10

So many problems right now!!
My main problem is my wedding in 5 weeks, i should be excited and nervous... but instead i cry everynight.
I have 3 bridesmaids, all are awkward, one is in Africa until 4 days before the wedding and the other 2 just don't have any contact with me or show any interest. I wish i hadn't asked my sister, his sister and my childhood friend. They themselves are stressful, but then you add my parents... they happily wanted to pay for 90% of my wedding and stupidly i agreed. Not only have we argued and disagreed about everything, from colours of bridesmaids, the cake, table decs, invitations, and table arrangements. But they have actually got their own way with half of it, they have changed my table and top table plan to what they want, even though i sat everyone where i knew was right, they changed it behind my back and sent it off to the wedding planner!! I wanted a nice green for the bridesmaids but ended up with a light blue. I always say what i think, but they tell me it doesn't look right and it needs to look good.
I seriously thought it would have been my mil that would have been like this but suprisingly its my parents. It does feel like their wedding, and i cry everynight and i have to say i want it over with. I've given up telling them as my mum ends up storming off crying then my dad yells at me and then it ends up their way because i don't want a family fall out.

Is it me thats the bridezilla? Its how i'm being made to feel confused
Me and my partner are more then capable, we have a house together and a 2 half year old son with our own ideas .... only the ideas are pushed into a corner

jellyfrizz Fri 06-May-16 19:49:15

Scrap the wedding if it's causing you that much stress.

gamerchick Fri 06-May-16 19:51:45

Elope? Your wedding shouldn't be making you cry.

JoanneNewton Fri 06-May-16 20:09:29

Wish i could scrap it, but everything paid for, and it would break my family up. I'm mainly trying to be excited that i'm marrying my best friend, not easy though. It doesn't help with a stressful job.

Brightbluebells Fri 06-May-16 20:15:36

Run away and elope. It's the only answer.

jellyfrizz Fri 06-May-16 20:18:58

Could you bear just letting them organise it all and you just turn up and enjoy the day?

Buckinbronco Fri 06-May-16 20:20:41

It's ridiculous to say scrap it and elope because that's just not going to happen. Who does that really? (Que loads of posts from people who claim to have cancelled their wedding 5 weeks beforehmm)

Personally I'd try, just try, to accept and reframe. Your parents are being crazy. Deep breaths. What really matters to you? What does your fiancée think? Take care of you two first, then pick your battles. Try to relax a little, it is what it is and you can try to make the most of it. Just grit your teeth and stop caring about the bridesmaid zillas- tell them Step in line or step down. Who cares if their dresses don't fit or they don't know what they're doing? They're not important anyway. No one pays attention to bridesmaids X

Big hugs and good luck

AngieBolen Fri 06-May-16 20:42:36

Well, it is your parents day, isn't it. They are paying for it and having what they want. Hope they enjoy it, and get on with your marriage. A wedding lasts one day. A marriage is much longer, hopefully the rest if your life.

Personally I would get on with it, then hand them the wedding photos, thing them clearly they are their photos not yours, as it wasn't your day.

You need to see the bigger picture here...you will end up with a DH, and you already have a DC. The rest of them can go to hell.

JapaneseSlipper Fri 06-May-16 20:53:28

flowers because this sounds really shit.

MegGriffin1 Fri 06-May-16 20:56:27

I was there. The wedding was amazing but my relationship with my parents is in tatters not that they have any idea. I now do not involve them in any decisions or discuss anything with them. Learn from this

IAmNotAMindReader Fri 06-May-16 20:58:08

Cancel the whole thing. Tell them why (because they have totally taken over and tantrum like children if you so much as blink in the wrong place)
Then when the dust settles if you still want to be married grab your DH and go down to the registry office.
Its supposed to be about the two of you celebrating your commitment to each other and inviting friends and family to share that. If they've taken over and made it all about them to the point you cry whenever you think about it then it isn't a celebration of your love and commitment is it?

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