to be annoyed at my H?

(9 Posts)
DropZoneOne Fri 06-May-16 19:17:48

My first MN AIBU - be gentle!

Last year we paid a fair whack of money to get our garden landscaped as we are not gardeners. It's been left to it's own devices over the winter, and the borders had sprouted several weeds, to the point it was half weed / half plants. I said I'd go and weed last week, but time got away from us both and then it rained. I had it down as a job for tomorrow, as I have a photo of the borders from when they were finished and hoped this would guide me as to which green things were weeds.

I have just got home from work. H got in about an hour before me. As I walked up the front path I could see 2 small bin bags with green in them. My heart started to sink. I've walked through to the back garden and he has "tackled" the weeds. Half the plants have gone, some of the weeks are left. He's destroyed about £80 worth (as I wrote down what plants the gardener had bought and their cost, partly so I knew what the heck they were, and partly to make sure we weren't being ripped off).

H has come downstairs and seen my face "what's wrong?". "You've pulled up some of the plants" I reply. He has stormed off to the bedroom, closing the curtains and slamming the door like a teenager. I'm more pissed off at that behaviour than the plants. He annoyed that he's tried to do a job and I've criticised. I don't feel I criticised - he asked my what was wrong and I said. I didn't say "bloody hell, you've pulled up a load of plants, what were you thinking you idiot man, why couldn't you have waited" (only in my head). He's now sulking in the kitchen.

AIBU?

shinynewusername Fri 06-May-16 19:25:00

You can probably save most of the plants if he has uprooted them. Leave him to his sulking and start rifling through those bags!

Euphemia Fri 06-May-16 19:25:06

He's spending tomorrow digging in binbags and replanting then isn't he?! Armed with a copy of Percy Thrower so he learns which are pricey plants!

YANBU.

pictish Fri 06-May-16 19:27:03

No you're not. What a dozy git. Ffs.

TheUnsullied Fri 06-May-16 19:32:34

Well I wouldn't know either (I'm shite at gardening) but he did his best.

If he's pulled them up properly, the root should be intact shouldn't it? They could be replanted.

As for his behaviour, I fucking hate a sulking man. Why do so many men revert to behaving like teenagers when they feel hard done by?

ToriaPumpkin Fri 06-May-16 20:41:42

My husband has THREE TIMES pulled up rosemary I've grown from seed, hardened off and planted outside because he thought it was a weed. He also gets cross if he's "helped" and I don't see him making more work for me as helping. So, IMVHO, you're absolutely NBU and if you want to start a support group then I'll bring the wine.

gingergenie Fri 06-May-16 20:45:51

Oh dear! I guess he felt you were criticising his efforts. Fact remains that he's pulled up the wrong green stuff. He needs to stop sulking and see the funny side. Hopefully the plants are salvageable! YANBU x

JapaneseSlipper Fri 06-May-16 20:50:57

My partner is like this and it drives me up the wall. YANBU.

TigerPath Sat 07-May-16 08:30:00

I did this once (weeded the flower beds and accidentally pulled up loads of plants thinking thru were weeds blush)

It's easy to do

It was an accident

They are only plants, you can buy some more

Your DH meant well and made a mistake. I think you were mean to get angry. Yes he should apologise and replace the plants, but it's not worth getting angry over!

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